You can use the word "fuck," and you can give the entire definition of lower-case santorum:

I have a history with Rick Santorum. In 2003, when Santorum, in an interview with the Associated Press, first compared gay relationships to child rape and dog fucking (have I mentioned that Santorum has compared gay relationships to child rape and dog fucking?), I held a contest to redefine Santorum's last name. The winning definition: "the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." ("Sometimes" is the most important word in the new definition of santorum; if you're doing anal sex correctly, there won't be any santorum—lower- or upper-case.) And since 2003, the new definition has the been the No1 Google return when you search "santorum".

This has been dubbed "Santorum's Google problem", as more Americans than ever are using the online media to learn about politicians. But Rick Santorum and the GOP have a much bigger problem on their hands than a joke my readers made at Santorum's expense nearly eight years ago. The GOP's doubling down on homophobia, the non-stop gay bashing, is going to cost them votes—and not just the votes of 9,000,000 (or more) LBGT Americans out there, but, again, the votes of tens of millions of our straight family members, friends and coworkers.

You can read my entire Santorum/santorum-splattered Guardian op-ed here.