Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, January 4, 2012
2012 Headline of the Day
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jan 4, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Sorry, but I'm going to break Slog Silence for this: Norway's third-largest newspaper tells the truth about last night's Iowa caucuses:
Somewhere Elizabeth Santorum and her gay friends are having a sad.
1
Though they didn't spell your name right (read: didn't mention it, dangit) they did give us the important Norwegian translation of the definition:
«En skummet blanding av glidekrem og avføring, som kan være et biprodukt av analsex».Glidekrem!
2
Does this mean they'll be selling santorum in little jars at the deli racks near the IKEA cafeteria?
6
If you put the page's web address in Google, it will give you the option to translate it. Here's the headline in English.
Later in the article there is this:
Gay Hate surging forward
Later in the article there is this:
"Byproduct of anal sex"
Rick Santorums homophobia helped him, perhaps in Iowa, but it has also made him hated among gays. Early in the campaign he had to devote resources to counter a smear campaign on the net that gave a lot of negative attention.
After the activists carried out a so-called Google-bombing, the search for "Santorum" on Google now has a somewhat special explanation of the candidate's name as one of the first hits: Santorum: "A frothy mixture of lubricant and stool, which can be a byproduct of anal sex. "
Stunt has been ex-senator to accuse the activists to wage jihad against his family name.
7
Someone at Slog needs to check Danny's blood pressure,
he is going to stroke out before the day is over.....
he is going to stroke out before the day is over.....
8
oooh Danny
The Norwegians accuse you of waging a smear campaign.
Are you being messy with your santorum?
The Norwegians accuse you of waging a smear campaign.
Are you being messy with your santorum?
12
Hah, this dropped off my comment above.
Dan, why the Slog silence? I love that people the world over will be Googling and giggling in the next 24 hours!
Dan, why the Slog silence? I love that people the world over will be Googling and giggling in the next 24 hours!
14
It's like something Lewis Carroll would write.
Homohater fosser fram,
In Iowa Santorum ran
"And, has thou slain the Homowock?
Come to my funds, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimball on Fox News
All mimsy were the caucuses,
And the mome raths dismayed.
Homohater fosser fram,
In Iowa Santorum ran
"And, has thou slain the Homowock?
Come to my funds, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimball on Fox News
All mimsy were the caucuses,
And the mome raths dismayed.
16
An added note to those with great visual imaginations, 'fosser fram' directly translates as 'spewing like a waterfall'.
23
and I thought I saw everything on the Internet, tub gurl had to do that for money, right? I'm curious how much...
24
Det er bara bra! :-)
I wonder if Scandinavian languages sound as funny to speakers of English as Italian or Spanish sound to me.
I wonder if Scandinavian languages sound as funny to speakers of English as Italian or Spanish sound to me.
25
God bless those Vikings. They dont mince words over in Norway. Homohater, I love that word. You should adopt the word, Dan.
31
Google translate asked if I meant "skummel" rather than "skummet", which translates to "A *fiery* mix..." :-)
32
Uffda - tub girl was my initiation into the Savage Commentators Club? Thank goodness I clean fish much of the summer.
33
@24, isn't that "bare"? But maybe I shouldn't correct, I skipped my third anniversary norsk class lesson so I can take continuing ed in my profession. :P
35
I know Sweden and Norway are different countries with different langauges, but I still went "Bork bork bork" at the end of each sentence paragraph.
@14- Outstanding.
@14- Outstanding.
37
@31, oh dear, that's santorum after eating too much habanero salsa. We need a new word for that -- marcusbachmann? He's not spicy enough. Gingrich? Almost onomatopoeic, but he's not homophobic enough. Maggiegallagher?
38
@1 you're looking at it the wrong way. The fact that they didn't mention Dan's name is a GOOD thing; it means that the true definition of 'Santorum' has gained enough momentum that we don't always have to refer back to its creator.
40
Never mind Santorum, never mind the article. Take a look at the comments. I love me some Norwegians!
There were some truly excellent comments, pithy, witty, incisive and borne of true humanity. Of the couple handfuls I managed to stuff through the translator, this short and simple one was my favorite, though: "There is not much that is more immoral than to moralize other people."
If I'm not mistaken, this point is made several different ways in both the Old and New Testaments. Make a note. Rick Santorum and his ilk are truly, deeply, and religiously, immoral.
There were some truly excellent comments, pithy, witty, incisive and borne of true humanity. Of the couple handfuls I managed to stuff through the translator, this short and simple one was my favorite, though: "There is not much that is more immoral than to moralize other people."
If I'm not mistaken, this point is made several different ways in both the Old and New Testaments. Make a note. Rick Santorum and his ilk are truly, deeply, and religiously, immoral.
41
@ 26, Matt,
Brazlian. Anylosaur first language is Portugese and I think he speaks at least five more languages. He's a Slog treasure.
Brazlian. Anylosaur first language is Portugese and I think he speaks at least five more languages. He's a Slog treasure.
42
@24, anklyosaur,
Charming. Danish has an additional throaty sound that Norwegian and Swedish don't have, to my ears. Amongst the Swedes who work in København there is a lyricalness to their Swedish that distinguishes them from the Danes. Our children could quickly hear the difference and recognize it in their spoken English. And, I find, Icelandic to be the softest sounding.
My brother-in-law states that English (American, British, New Zealand, Australian, South African, Canadian) is more musical sounding than Danish.
Charming. Danish has an additional throaty sound that Norwegian and Swedish don't have, to my ears. Amongst the Swedes who work in København there is a lyricalness to their Swedish that distinguishes them from the Danes. Our children could quickly hear the difference and recognize it in their spoken English. And, I find, Icelandic to be the softest sounding.
My brother-in-law states that English (American, British, New Zealand, Australian, South African, Canadian) is more musical sounding than Danish.
43
@26, I'm Brazilian. But I see Kim has beaten me to the answer. :-)
@42(Kim in Portland), I speak Swedish (more or less -- Dutch has sort of obliterated it), at least to the extent I think I get the sing-song tones mostly right; they do give Sweidsh a certain depth that suits the ambiance in Ingmar Bergman movies quite well (say, Fanny och Alexander). I can read Danish (its grammar is even simpler than Swedish); but I admit I can't understand it when it's spoken. It's not simply the throaty sound (the famous "Danish stød"), but so many letters are not pronounced or are pronounced in irregular ways (at least when compared to Swedish) that I can't really follow much. The only way I can understand this dialogue, for instance, is by reading the words (which look very much like their Swedish equivalents, despite the cute spelling); if I click on the sentences and listen to the actual pronunciation I'm entirely lost.
Icelandic is fascinating as a "living fossil" -- it is still pretty much what it was in the twelfth, thirteenth century (unlike the other Scandinavian languages). Trying to read it is like going on a time machine and trying to deal with Old English.
English has its own charm, often difficult to foreigners. The way in which English often has (literally) tongue-twisting (aka 'retroflex') sounds like the 'r' in words like "first" or "third" I find particularly attractive. (One of the hardest sequences of sounds I ever tried to master was "third worlder" -- try to get a non-native speaker of English to say that...)
@42(Kim in Portland), I speak Swedish (more or less -- Dutch has sort of obliterated it), at least to the extent I think I get the sing-song tones mostly right; they do give Sweidsh a certain depth that suits the ambiance in Ingmar Bergman movies quite well (say, Fanny och Alexander). I can read Danish (its grammar is even simpler than Swedish); but I admit I can't understand it when it's spoken. It's not simply the throaty sound (the famous "Danish stød"), but so many letters are not pronounced or are pronounced in irregular ways (at least when compared to Swedish) that I can't really follow much. The only way I can understand this dialogue, for instance, is by reading the words (which look very much like their Swedish equivalents, despite the cute spelling); if I click on the sentences and listen to the actual pronunciation I'm entirely lost.
Icelandic is fascinating as a "living fossil" -- it is still pretty much what it was in the twelfth, thirteenth century (unlike the other Scandinavian languages). Trying to read it is like going on a time machine and trying to deal with Old English.
English has its own charm, often difficult to foreigners. The way in which English often has (literally) tongue-twisting (aka 'retroflex') sounds like the 'r' in words like "first" or "third" I find particularly attractive. (One of the hardest sequences of sounds I ever tried to master was "third worlder" -- try to get a non-native speaker of English to say that...)
46
Thank you, Lissa. You, too, nocutename.
@ ankylosaur (43),
I've always read Danish better than I've been able to speak it. And, I did better reading the exchange. My sister and brother-in-law giggle kindly at my accent and sing-song sounds, as Danish is their first language. Thankfully when I was there neither my 4 year old neice and nearly two nephew minded my lack of "Danish stød". They succeeded in wrapping us around their little fingers and making their wishes known. That is the real heart of communication. Getting your meaning across. And my heart did smile with this exchange...
Me - "Vil du have et glas vand?"
My niece- "Thank you."
My nephew- "Mere! Mor! Mere!" (All adult women were called mama for about a month. And Kim is a boys name in Denmark.)
It is wonderful how Icelandic is so ancient. I'd guess that their remoteness and success at maintaining a civilization, the natural resources of the island as opposed to Greenland, can be credited for its success.
By the way, my cousin moved to Brazil for a period after studying Portugese and found that Brazilians she lived with would gently shift to Spanish if she was struggling. I found that fascinating. I guess all languages have their hard sequences.
Take care.
@ ankylosaur (43),
I've always read Danish better than I've been able to speak it. And, I did better reading the exchange. My sister and brother-in-law giggle kindly at my accent and sing-song sounds, as Danish is their first language. Thankfully when I was there neither my 4 year old neice and nearly two nephew minded my lack of "Danish stød". They succeeded in wrapping us around their little fingers and making their wishes known. That is the real heart of communication. Getting your meaning across. And my heart did smile with this exchange...
Me - "Vil du have et glas vand?"
My niece- "Thank you."
My nephew- "Mere! Mor! Mere!" (All adult women were called mama for about a month. And Kim is a boys name in Denmark.)
It is wonderful how Icelandic is so ancient. I'd guess that their remoteness and success at maintaining a civilization, the natural resources of the island as opposed to Greenland, can be credited for its success.
By the way, my cousin moved to Brazil for a period after studying Portugese and found that Brazilians she lived with would gently shift to Spanish if she was struggling. I found that fascinating. I guess all languages have their hard sequences.
Take care.
48
@47 (Kim), I've always thought that communication is what we finally get once we forget what language we're using... :-) And I'm very much in love with the form of language, so I can love the Danish stød while at the same time being almost totally unable to pronounce it. And it's not the only thing (I heard the Danish "soft d" in words like gade or møde is also quite a challenge).
Jared Diamond wrote about Greenland and Iceland -- why the latter worked while the former didn't -- in his book Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed. The fact that Iceland was isolated certainly contributed to its keeping archaic linguistic features -- it's a well-known phenomenon of linguistic geography.
I'm mildly surprised that the Brazilians you mentioned switched to Spanish; when I was living there, most Brazilians thought Spanish was only Portuguese pronounced with a funny accent. At least now they accept it's a different language. :-) Portuguese pronunciation is famous for its almost Danish-like loss of unstressed vowels (very different from Spanish) that makes it difficult to hear the endings of words. It is also one of a very few languages in the world that has not only nasal vowels (like French) but also nasal diphthongs. Words like não 'no', então 'then', tambem 'too' (pronounced "tã-b~ey") are too nasal for most foreigners. My wife, who understands Portuguese rather well, simply cannot pronounce them, much to the amusement of our daughter.
Jared Diamond wrote about Greenland and Iceland -- why the latter worked while the former didn't -- in his book Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed. The fact that Iceland was isolated certainly contributed to its keeping archaic linguistic features -- it's a well-known phenomenon of linguistic geography.
I'm mildly surprised that the Brazilians you mentioned switched to Spanish; when I was living there, most Brazilians thought Spanish was only Portuguese pronounced with a funny accent. At least now they accept it's a different language. :-) Portuguese pronunciation is famous for its almost Danish-like loss of unstressed vowels (very different from Spanish) that makes it difficult to hear the endings of words. It is also one of a very few languages in the world that has not only nasal vowels (like French) but also nasal diphthongs. Words like não 'no', então 'then', tambem 'too' (pronounced "tã-b~ey") are too nasal for most foreigners. My wife, who understands Portuguese rather well, simply cannot pronounce them, much to the amusement of our daughter.
49
@48, (ankylosaur),
I can appreciate the beauty of linguistic sounds I can't even dream of pronouncing. I find that the "soft d" in words like grade or møde difficult when attempting Danish, the squeezing sensation of vocal cords is distracting and mildly uncomfortable. Our children found words such as "selvfølgelig" really surprising when they saw it written, as so much of it isn't audible to their ears because there is no stress on some of the vowels.
I haven't read Diamond's "Collapse:..." for some years, but it was indeed where my thoughts were going.
I was fascinated by my cousins experience, she was essentially fluent in both Spanish (North American) and French, and had been studying Portugese for three years before she moved. Perhaps she was the first to slip into Spanish and they joined in? Anyway she did say that things resolved as immersion cemented things before she moved to Thailand.
It is my honor to "hear" your thoughts, to have you share your passion for languages, and share your knowledge on the subject. Thank you for responding. And my thanks to your family for the time you give to Slog. You are a treasure. Enjoy your day.
I can appreciate the beauty of linguistic sounds I can't even dream of pronouncing. I find that the "soft d" in words like grade or møde difficult when attempting Danish, the squeezing sensation of vocal cords is distracting and mildly uncomfortable. Our children found words such as "selvfølgelig" really surprising when they saw it written, as so much of it isn't audible to their ears because there is no stress on some of the vowels.
I haven't read Diamond's "Collapse:..." for some years, but it was indeed where my thoughts were going.
I was fascinated by my cousins experience, she was essentially fluent in both Spanish (North American) and French, and had been studying Portugese for three years before she moved. Perhaps she was the first to slip into Spanish and they joined in? Anyway she did say that things resolved as immersion cemented things before she moved to Thailand.
It is my honor to "hear" your thoughts, to have you share your passion for languages, and share your knowledge on the subject. Thank you for responding. And my thanks to your family for the time you give to Slog. You are a treasure. Enjoy your day.
50
How many "Skandophones" do we have here?
I find spoken Danish very difficult to follow (though it depends on the speaker; there are easier Danish accents). And Collapse is without question one of the most relevant and thought-provoking books I've ever read (not to mention frightening). It regularly passes through my thoughts these days.
I find spoken Danish very difficult to follow (though it depends on the speaker; there are easier Danish accents). And Collapse is without question one of the most relevant and thought-provoking books I've ever read (not to mention frightening). It regularly passes through my thoughts these days.
51
@50, Det är svårt att säga! (Maybe 'Det er svart at säge' in Danish? :-)
Since I'm not a native speaker -- my Swedish is not bad, but it's been badly influenced by my Dutch lately -- I'm sure I have more difficulty with Danish than the average Swede would have. Just like Spanish-speaking people would probably have fewer problems with Portuguese than someone who learned Spanish as a second language.
Jared Diamond is a very thought-provoking writer in all his books. Collapse, Guns, Germs, and Steel, and The Third Chimpanzee are all based on similar ideas (a few new ones in each book), and contain examples and analyses worth thinking about.
Since I'm not a native speaker -- my Swedish is not bad, but it's been badly influenced by my Dutch lately -- I'm sure I have more difficulty with Danish than the average Swede would have. Just like Spanish-speaking people would probably have fewer problems with Portuguese than someone who learned Spanish as a second language.
Jared Diamond is a very thought-provoking writer in all his books. Collapse, Guns, Germs, and Steel, and The Third Chimpanzee are all based on similar ideas (a few new ones in each book), and contain examples and analyses worth thinking about.
52
You know it's interesting to see all this discussion about how different Swedish and Danish are, as it was my understanding that they're mutually intelligible to native speakers (in fact, I once listened to a conversation between a Dane and a Swede where they were each speaking in their native tongues, and only occasionally had to stop and translate a word or two into English). Of course, it's probably like @51 said about it being easier for a native (or at least, I suppose, early-acquired second language) speaker to understand a similar language despite the differences.
53
@51 Though I had become fluent in English before I came to Germany (well, fluent enough), I could not speak English the year I was staying there and learning German. It was too close for comfort and my brain wouldn't let me go there. The funny thing is that now, when I go to Germany, I speak German as much as I'm able, and I can easily switch back and forth to English when I see I lack enough vocabulary.
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