Welcome Back to Slog: Today are the Iowa Caucuses. Mike Huckabee won in 2008 and John McCain came in fourth place, so don't lose your shit if Frothy-Frothy comes out on top. Let's get to it...

Today in Iowa: A PPP poll shows a dead heat among three old white men: Ron Paul slightly ahead with 20 percent, while Mitt Romney has 19 percent and Rick Santorum has 18 percent. Our very own Paul Constant is in Des Moines, ready to report, making Slog GROUND-ZERO FOR ALL YOUR CAUCUS NEWS! Officials are bracing for Occupy protesters to converge on the caucuses; already they mic checked a Romney event. Meanwhile, Obama 2012 has ad-bombed the Des Moines Register website with banners that say, "The Republican candidates are leaving Iowa, but their terrible plans are here to stay." Gallup acknowledges this is a nutty Republican primary, writing, "this phase of the 2012 Republican nomination process has been the most volatile for the GOP since the advent of polling.”

Newtered Himself: Gingrich made the mistake of declaring, "I don't think I'm going to win." He later tried to walk it back, saying that the media incorrectly dissected "two compound sentences." Uh huh. Taking the macro view, Politico says that Gingrich has squandered his chances.

Hey, Big Stalker: Here's a crazy map that lets you track the candidates' whereabouts.

Councilman Ad Temperantiam: Richard Conlin pouts about the council's vote to allow more density around the Roosevelt light rail, saying it was "botched." Conlin essentially decrees that the correct solution in density disputes is a compromise. Further, he laments that normal people are capable of showing emotion.

You've Heard of a Shit Sandwich: Now try this restaurant's "Santorum Salad."

Speaking of Feces: Lynda V. Mapes at the Seattle Times has a surprisingly in-depth and enlightening piece on the unaffordable demands on local governments to manage sewer overflow. Although we have systems that reduce overflow problems (we've reduced overflow by 97 percent in the last few decades), mitigating the remaining fraction to satisfy arguably overreaching federal environmental standards will cost an estimated $1.2 billion in Seattle.

The Iraq Vet Who Shot a Park Ranger: Wearing one shoe, dead in a creek.

Le Funky Fresh: A made-over French McDonalds that looks like a restaurant on the Starship Enterprise.

The Wonderful Christina Kim Choi: The wild-and-foraged food chef behind Nettletown died last week at 34 of complications from a brain aneurism. RIP, Christina.

Cindi Laws: The sometimes-incendiary political campaign consultant has taken a position as VP of business development for Concierge Care Advisors, a senior housing and health care referral firm.

At Least Someone Did: Rupert Murdoch liked the movie We Bought a Zoo.