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Monday, January 2, 2012

Religion Not Quite a Slog Bible Study

Posted by on Mon, Jan 2, 2012 at 3:01 PM

I have a soft spot in my Skittle-sized heart for reworked Biblical stories—stories deconstructed to be less focused on the religion we're all steeped in, growing up in a predominantly Christian society, and more broadly focused on simply being humane (or whatever). In other words, Biblical stories taken out of their super-serious-word-of-Gawd gospels and made more accessible, enjoyable, to heathens like me:

On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth.

“Let there be light,” He said, and there was light. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening—the first night.

On the second day, God separated the oceans from the sky. “Let there be a horizon,” He said. And lo: a horizon appeared and God saw that it was good. And there was evening—the second night.

On the third day, God’s girlfriend came over and said that He’d been acting distant lately.

“I’m sorry,” God said. “Things have been crazy this week at work.”

He smiled at her, but she did not smile back. And God saw that it was not good.

 

Comments (8) RSS

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w7ngman 1
And then God said to Adam: "If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son, I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one".
Posted by w7ngman http://userscripts.org/users/89370 on January 2, 2012 at 3:15 PM
tdalec 2
God needs to DTMFA. She's too narcissistic.
Posted by tdalec on January 2, 2012 at 3:25 PM
3
But lo!
Posted by sahara29 on January 2, 2012 at 3:30 PM
OuterCow 4
The god of the Bible would've been way more of a dick than that, just typin'.
Posted by OuterCow on January 2, 2012 at 3:33 PM
5
Love the setup, to your post, Cienna -- I didn't see that stoy coming at all.
Posted by Eric from Boulder on January 2, 2012 at 4:34 PM
the idiot formerly known as kk 6
Just saw the Three Stooges trailer at a movie with three ten-year-old boys. They laughed at that. They might smirk at this. Aimed at about the same level, but not quite as funny.
Posted by the idiot formerly known as kk on January 2, 2012 at 8:38 PM
Canadian Nurse 7
Ignore kk, your post was hilarious and the New Yorker column was also pretty funny.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on January 2, 2012 at 10:41 PM
Allyn 8
Cienna, did you read Jonathan Goldstein's version of the Bible? Not necessarily ireverent, but enjoyable.
Posted by Allyn on January 3, 2012 at 6:58 AM

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