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Saturday, December 31, 2011

??!! / Sex / Religion Big News from the FLDS Church

Posted by David Schmader on Sat, Dec 31, 2011 at 2:28 PM

Warren Jeffs, the child-raping leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints—last seen compulsively masturbating in prison—has issued a game-changing decree from behind bars. From Utah's KSDK News:

Warren Jeffs, the imprisoned FLDS leader...just announced that marriages of his followers have all been voided....Jeffs has recently banned many of the things his followers enjoy: bicycles, ATVs, trampolines, and even children's toys. But [one new] edict reaches into the bedroom.

Joni Holm, who has many FLDS relatives, said Jeffs has voided all existing FLDS marriages. "Right now they have all been told that they are not to live as husband and wife. They can live in the same house but they are not to have sexual relationships until Warren comes out and reseals them." If they have sex on the sly, any resulting children will be considered "sons of perdition." "The parents will also be excommunicated," said Holm.

Also:

The [no more sex] curse would be broken only if Jeffs' latest prophecy comes true: an apocalypse that will bring down the prison walls and broil the human race. "They believe that they'll still roam on the earth but the rest of us will be burned," said Holm.

Silver lining: A lot of FLDSers aren't standing for it, and are reportedly fleeing the church/cult in growing numbers. Read the whole thing here.

Comments (25) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Someone tell me why he hasn't been lined up in front of a brick yard and shot in the face, yet.

I'm perplexed vis a vis the lack of face-shooting.

Posted by jj41243 on December 31, 2011 at 2:54 PM

Sliver lining part II: it's a good thing if some of them stop raping their 14 year old so-called wives.

Posted by kinaidos on December 31, 2011 at 2:57 PM

Seems like kind of a, "Well if I can't have sex, then no one can!"

Posted by Jude Fawley on December 31, 2011 at 3:01 PM

"But he preached a hard line against masturbation."

Oh did he now.

Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on December 31, 2011 at 3:08 PM

Nobody has a bigger ego. Religion fucks up people's brains.

Posted by Vince on December 31, 2011 at 3:23 PM

@3: More like, "If I can't rape children, then no one can!"

Posted by Knat on December 31, 2011 at 3:27 PM

Will they vote for Mitt?

Posted by MrBaker

on December 31, 2011 at 3:48 PM

I am reminded of the discussion about jealousy going on in the SLLOTD column about monogamy/monogamish/poly relationships. This definitely seems like a particularly unhealthy jealousy where if he can't get laid, he doesn't want anyone else getting to either. It really has the feel of a kindergarten tantrum.

Posted by uncreative on December 31, 2011 at 3:54 PM

FLDS followers leaving in droves? Damn, there goes my plan to invest in that long-prairie-dresses-and-flycatcher-hairdo boutique salon. Hope my Perry/Palin campaign button business does okay.

Posted by Luckier on December 31, 2011 at 3:56 PM

His problem is that he's used to being obeyed and nobody ever held him accountable for anything until the government did. Everyone treated him like he was the spokesman of God - and he came to believe his own bullshit. People who aren't socially disciplined eventually lose their self-discipline.

Posted by I have always been... east coaster on December 31, 2011 at 3:56 PM

Gas his ass.

Posted by Cascadian Bacon on December 31, 2011 at 4:27 PM

As long as they wear their special underwear!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on December 31, 2011 at 4:46 PM

Someone explain to me why he's not living 24/7 in solitary?

Posted by Doctor Memory

on December 31, 2011 at 5:34 PM

Why do Radical Religious Extremists get such coverage? I know they are dangerous people, hence Jeffs is behind bars. But once there, safely locked away, any thing they say and do is nothing and should be treated as such.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn on December 31, 2011 at 5:59 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by rocketgeek on December 31, 2011 at 6:10 PM

Kinda of reminds me of Brigham Young, our prophet from the 1800s

Posted by SecretBYUBottomBoy on December 31, 2011 at 6:44 PM

Good news, straight guys! Droves of young ladies are now single in Utah!

Posted by MacCrocodile on December 31, 2011 at 6:44 PM

14: There are tangible results from this proclamation, with Utah's social services bracing for an influx of young mothers with nothing to their names and zero life skills.

Posted by David Schmader on December 31, 2011 at 7:16 PM

Re: Sons of Perdition: There's a film with that title. It's an absolutely heartbreaking documentary about the kids who grow up in these cults, and is well worth seeing.

Posted by Joe Glibmoron on December 31, 2011 at 8:04 PM

Aren't there several branches of the FLDS? Won't they just go to another one?

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay

on December 31, 2011 at 8:24 PM

People believe all sorts of crazy things. If those folks in UT want to jail their minds & sexuality, they're free to do it. The guy who raped kids is behind bars & will never leave. So what's the problem?

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 1, 2012 at 12:46 PM

I sneer at these people. SNEER. They let 14 year olds get raped, but oh, when someone forbids THEM from having sex, they aren't going to take it. SNEER.

Posted by Lorran on January 1, 2012 at 5:27 PM

The fact that this pussy was on the FBI's ten most wanted list should be an insult to anybody else who has been on that list.

Posted by markvz on January 1, 2012 at 6:21 PM

No transportation, no trampolines, or toys for children weren't deal breakers for these god fearing nuts. Take away the sex and it's "no more cult for me!" There's always Scientology.

Posted by stevema14420

on January 2, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Those trampolines were allowed when many other things were banned over the years. One woman who is former flds that left long ago said the "tramps" were one of the few things she was allowed to do that helped her endure that life growing up. There have been a very high number of reports of sexual abuse of females by close male relatives in this group. Many of the most hig-ranking leaders were abusing their daughters during the girls' childhoods and rationalizing it as preparing them for marriage. Some of these guys never did time for anthing before they died. Some of them do not know all their own children. It has been the reason for some of the reports of molestation- some guys didn't always know all their own daughters, or at least said so.

Posted by mominpa on January 3, 2012 at 11:10 AM