We've tried to keep this under wraps—it's kind of a PR nightmare for our side of the marriage equality debate—but the North Carolina Family Policy Council is on to us. Many gay couples have celebrated their weddings by going out and shooting unsuspecting straight newlyweds to death...

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Don't really need the scope—those newlyweds are pretty easy to spot standing there in that wheat field. You would think straight Christian newlyweds in North Carolina would've adapted to the threat posed by gay predators and started wearing tuxes and wedding dresses made out of camouflage. That would up their chances of surviving their weddings days, increasing the odds that they would live to pass their genes on, etc. But good Christians in North Carolina would rather die than concede an inch to the Darwinists. (Via Towleroad.)