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Thursday, December 22, 2011

TV American Horror Story Chitty-Chat Club: Season Finale!

Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Dec 22, 2011 at 12:23 PM

OMG, you guys! American Horror Story is SO INSANE! And last night's season finale was the "insane-iest"! Hit the jump for my thoughts on this episode, and be sure to add your comments to the... ummm... you know, "comments." LET'S DO THIS!

This adorable stocking cap conveniently hides my 666 birthmark.

via FX
"This adorable stocking cap conveniently hides my "666" birthmark."

···

Okay, here's what I'm thinking...

1) There were so many twists, turns and surprises in this episode, I'm not sure where to start—except I just have to say I really appreciate there's a show that doesn't give two shits about killing off characters and keeping their audience guessing. It's disorienting at times... but ultimately awesome.

2) So I totally thought Ben was gonna off himself, but it was so much better that evil skank girlfriend Hadyn did it for him.

3) And is it just me, or is the ghost of a stillborn baby waaaaaaaaaaaay creepier than any adult ghostie?

4) Anyway, with Ben now dead, and Viv no longer acting like an angry b-hole, the house can be re-occupied—by Los Spanish Harmons! En espanol! Overall, I liked Los Spanish Harmons (they like sex in the kitchen, I like sex in the kitchen), and it's too bad Ben and Viv "Beetlejuiced" them into leaving. Oh, well! Put up the "for sale" sign again... for the billionth time.

5) By the way, if Jessica Lange doesn't win a goddamn Emmy for this episode, there is no god. Wait... she should win regardless.

6) Another fave scene was the psychological chess match between Tate and Ben, where Tate was all "Boo-hoo-hoo, no one understands me for raping your wife" and Ben was all like, "Oh, shut up, crybaby—you raped my wife! But... I just can't resist ya, you big galoot."

7) Not a b-hole anymore Viv snakes the stillborn baby (AKA "noisy monster"... good name! Better than "Elsie" anyway) away from Mrs. Montgomery, and ding, dong, ding! The family is back together, everyone's happy, and this is gonna be the best Christmas EVER, you guys!

8) Of course, Constance got away with the living baby and (title card!) THREE YEARS LATER, she's going on and on about how awesome being a mommy is... except for the, you know, murdering the nanny and covering the kitchen with blood sort of thing. Oh, well... ANTICHRISTS WILL BE ANTICHRISTS.

9) I have no idea where season two is gonna go from here... and I can't wait to find out! Any predictions from YOU, smartypants?

UPDATE: Here's creator Ryan Murphy's season finale exit interview!

Two things, mom: 1) This isnt finger paint, and 2) Ive been a baaaad widdle boy!

via FX
"Two things, mom: 1) This isn't finger paint, and 2) I've been a baaaad widdle boy!"

Comments (13) RSS

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Until last night, I assumed that each season would introduce a new family that would be haunted/murdered/run off, until about six seasons in when the house would be stacked floor-to-ceiling with ghosts. Now, I think next season will be about Constance trying to keep that evil kid out of the house, plus ghost hijinks.

Posted by Luckier on December 22, 2011 at 12:44 PM

Ah!!! We just started watching this and I'm loving it so far (on episode two)! Glad to read fromt he headline that it doesn't start sucking.

We're packing today for our holiday trip me thinks we might need to have a marathon while we do. You know, to get in the Christmas spirit and such.

Posted by GlamB0t on December 22, 2011 at 1:00 PM

That ending was really awesome. The whole season was a blast. And the next about 4-5 minutes from when Moira is full of righteous anger looming over the making out new couple to Ben and Vivien going all Beetlejuice?

I was half expecting them to bust out the Harry Belafonte! Ben and Vivien slaughtering each other, blowing her brains out, her spilling his entrails on the floor in a geyser of blood, and laughing like school kids on a first date after they scared off the new people? I couldn't stop laughing.

That was a really awesome cathartic release and turning on it's ear of the entire season, especially since it was obviously revealed that the ghosts themselves all occupy separate little realities that other ghosts can't even intrude upon on, unless each ghost allows it--you can see this from when Violet abandons Tate. So awesome. Because of that stupid bitch Hayden killing Ben to get at him forever, she loses any and all leverage she had over him.

The best thing? The entire season was obviously meticulously planned out ahead of time. If every single season-long TV show did this, god... the whole medium would be so great. Enough stupid stand-alone episode crap. Give us nothing but 12, 14, 20 chapter movies, like this was. The HBO/Showtime/FX/AMC/BBC models.

Posted by Joe Szilagyi

on December 22, 2011 at 1:26 PM

Also, from my mental score card, am I correct that not a single regular speaking part actor survived the entire season except for Constance, Larry, and the realtor? Because if so, that means the show killed off like 95% of the characters.

Posted by Joe Szilagyi

on December 22, 2011 at 1:28 PM

"ANTICHRISTS WILL BE ANTICHRISTS" is the best thing I've read this week.

Posted by jiberish on December 22, 2011 at 1:46 PM

Loved it so hard.

Also, Tate may be a monster (lowercase m), but Constance was the real Monster all along.

Posted by MLM on December 22, 2011 at 1:57 PM

"...ghost of a stillborn baby" - ah, is it stillborn? That's what we were told but is it?

I found this episode to be not so much. I expected a few shocking reveals (like could Ben be Tate's much older brother - remember Constance said early on that she had 4 children?). This was a lot of running around and screaming (and by the way, who were the two people who offed Ben while crazy girlfriend looked on?). Also, I could swear Constance called the baby a girl to the cops but it's a boy. Hmm.

But yes, Jessica Lange better get an Emmy for this one.

Posted by westello on December 22, 2011 at 2:13 PM

I have to say it didn't hold up for me. I mean all the sudden cock-gobbling Mrs Fisher is all " Some of us are innocent ghosts and want to help the living", wtf? And where are Constance's murdered husband and the Spanish mafia guy Mrs Fisher cock-gobbled to death in the basement? Why don't they ever turn up? Weren't they killed in the house too?

Posted by Jersey on December 22, 2011 at 3:10 PM

@7 Montgomery said the baby wasn't actually stillborn -- it died immediately after birth. As for Constance, yep, she lied to the cops. I assume this was to cover up her abduction of the baby, by sending the cops on an eternal hunt for Violet and a missing non-existent girl.

@8 Uh, Moira the maid's character there in the finale was exactly in line with her character all along. Moira, Ben, Vivien, Violet, the baby, maybe Zachary Quinto's partner, Constance's deformed son, the murdered nurses, the Black Dahlia, and Larry's burned to death family (the kids, anyway) are the only good ghosts in the house. Basically all the ghosts that played a role in the finale of driving out the hispanic family from the house.

The other half are all either indifferent, stuck in their own bullshit, or evil murderous assholes.

Posted by Joe Szilagyi

on December 22, 2011 at 4:23 PM

@8,9--Moira the Maid is trampy, at least in her as-hetero-men-see-her persona, but trampiness is not in itself a character-defining flaw. Plenty of tramps are decent, kind, lovable people who tend to suffer more harm than they inflict (like getting shot in the eye by batshit crazy housewives).

@8--the cock-gobbled guy was in fact Armenian and planning to raze the place, right? If he's who I'm thinking of, the ghost is just fucked him up real bad but left him to die elsewhere, outside the house. That's why he ain't there. Constance's 1st husband? Good question. I don't think we have seen him at all, let alone what sort of man he is.

Isn't it cool how death seems to have improved Ben's personality? He was my biggest stumbling block over the course of the season. I didn't like Viv much either, but she at least had the virtues of having been genuinely wronged.

Posted by The Max on December 22, 2011 at 6:11 PM

7: The ghosts that helped Hayden kill Ben were the ones the house ghosts murdered to protect Violet and Viv. They were were a merry band of copycat murderers who wanted to reenact the murders of the nurses from the 60s.

8: We see Constance's husband, Hugo, one time having sex with Hayden. She stabs him right after they fuck. And then he asks her if she wants anything from the kitchen.

This show needs a flow chart.

Posted by NOP_Spinster on December 23, 2011 at 12:03 AM

where do u think story linr is going to go?

Posted by carilind on December 23, 2011 at 9:14 PM

Ben really enjoys blaming others for everything, doesn't he? Constance has the best line of the season when she retorts: "You’re paying for your own sins, Dr. Harmon." In the end, Constance is the one left with Tate's son next door and, as she tells the cops, "Returning to that house is difficult for me, after what I saw." She'd be smart to heed her own advice and never set foot back in the house. I know I’m behind a little bit because I finally got a chance to watch it at DISHOnline.com. You see, DISH Network customers and employees like me, have access to DISHOnline to stream thousands of movies and TV shows. It’s a great way to pass the time and is worth looking into. I can’t wait until next season and American Horror Story has me hooked for sure.

Posted by Bob Smith on December 30, 2011 at 7:11 AM