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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Sports Should You Fuck Tim Tebow?

Posted by on Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 12:47 PM

This flowchart can help you decide. Surprisingly, nothing about having a penis disqualifies you from fucking Tim Tebow—at least according to this flow chart. Good to know. (But I'd really much rather fuck this guy.)

 

Comments (35) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
aardvark 1
fucking hell
Posted by aardvark on December 15, 2011 at 12:52 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 2
To the best of my knowledge, nobody is fucking Tim Tebow.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on December 15, 2011 at 1:00 PM
Zebes 3
FWIW, I should not fuck Tim Tebow.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on December 15, 2011 at 1:09 PM
seandr 4
Shit Gay Guys Say - very cute.
Posted by seandr on December 15, 2011 at 1:09 PM
Vince 5
@2 God is fucking Tebow. Hot! No more virgin births. Now it's hot football ass!
Posted by Vince on December 15, 2011 at 1:11 PM
gloomy gus 6
Jeffery! I had lost electronic touch with him after he moved from blog to tumblr. Now I am looking forward to catching up on a year's worth of posts by him. Thanks!
Posted by gloomy gus on December 15, 2011 at 1:14 PM
Joe Szilagyi 7
I would love to have TMZ pull out a string of honeys from college that have been Tebowed.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.joeszilagyi.com on December 15, 2011 at 1:16 PM
8
God is going to fuck Tim Tebow in the playoffs.
Posted by Spike1382 on December 15, 2011 at 1:25 PM
merry 9
Ah, the Tebow... I was gazing at his shocking loveliness just last night... It's like somebody drew him or something, it's almost unreal how Adonis-like he is.

His girlfriend has giNORMous knockers. Wonder if he motorboats her - or maybe not, the risk of concussion would be too great.
Posted by merry on December 15, 2011 at 1:31 PM
blip 10
Yes, I should. Are there any forms or applications I need to fill out?
Posted by blip on December 15, 2011 at 1:32 PM
11
To the best of my knowledge, nobody is fucking Tim Tebow.
Iono. Have you seen his relationship with his mum? It doesn't seem all that healthy to me.
Posted by Sili on December 15, 2011 at 1:43 PM
Fortunate 12
Based on that flowchart pretty much no one should be fucking Tim Tebow.
Posted by Fortunate on December 15, 2011 at 2:23 PM
seandr 13
If that quarterback is actually still a virgin, it's not because of a belief in god, it's because he's either in the closet or there's something wrong with his weewee.
Posted by seandr on December 15, 2011 at 2:26 PM
Original Andrew 14
/guilty secret/

Tim Tebow turns my crank up to at least a 12. I have a (now no longer) secret fantasy for big, dumb beefcakes. Oh the shame!

I blame my Southern Heritage for my intense compulsion to get both hands on the muscular asses of thick-necked, monosyllabic, farm studs.

Posted by Original Andrew on December 15, 2011 at 2:27 PM
15
Ha ha, I like the "this guy".
Posted by Spindles on December 15, 2011 at 2:30 PM
16
I'm a flow-chart nerd, I admit it.

That said, I'm confused by the "No" branch of the higher-power question. I mean if you don't question the existence, shouldn't that mean you're a believer, and shouldn't that route you back over to the left of the chart? I'm wondering if they swapped the yes/no on that one, 'cause it makes more sense the other way, at least to me.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on December 15, 2011 at 2:41 PM
Bauhaus I 17
Cute...and a quarterback....but home-schooled and gets down on his knees and thanks God for anything good that happens on the field. How do you get interested in someone that brain-washed?
Posted by Bauhaus I on December 15, 2011 at 2:46 PM
BEG 18
Is it really bad if I'm saying Tim...Who??

Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on December 15, 2011 at 2:48 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 19
He's the quarterback for the Denver Broncos, Browneyes. You know, football?
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on December 15, 2011 at 2:57 PM
20
Tim can't help but get on his knees to start pleasin' Jesus.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on December 15, 2011 at 2:58 PM
tehjakers 21
Uh I would fuck the shit out of him. Flowchart or not.
Posted by tehjakers on December 15, 2011 at 3:17 PM
22
OMG I would totally fuck Jeffery over the crazy. I miss Jeffery and Cole Casserole :(
Posted by Terpsichorean on December 15, 2011 at 3:47 PM
merry 23
For BEG: http://tinyurl.com/cebko6p
Posted by merry on December 15, 2011 at 4:00 PM
BEG 24
@19 football?

(ok, *now* I'm fucking with you :-) but srsly. tebow, huh?)
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on December 15, 2011 at 4:01 PM
Matt from Denver 25
@ 24, he's entered the pop culture (beyond football) because of his very public religious displays. Look up "tebowing," which is this month's planking...
Posted by Matt from Denver on December 15, 2011 at 4:05 PM
Cato the Younger Younger 26
Why would you want to fuck Jeffery Self? Cole would be the wild one in the sack
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on December 15, 2011 at 4:12 PM
27
@26: Because I'm attracted to gay guys, Cato.
Posted by Dan Savage on December 15, 2011 at 4:27 PM
28
Thank you, Mr Savage. One began to wonder.
Posted by vennominon on December 15, 2011 at 5:43 PM
Rhett Oracle 29
Is this the bulge of which you speak?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/45091444@N0…
Posted by Rhett Oracle on December 15, 2011 at 5:44 PM
RugbySkin 30
A MONDAY?! BAD GAY!
Posted by RugbySkin on December 15, 2011 at 6:04 PM
tomsj 31
Good taste, Dan. I'm with you.
Posted by tomsj on December 15, 2011 at 6:18 PM
32
Keep your little twink Dan, I'd rather fuck Tebow any day. He's cute, a stud and has facial hair. Tebow's little naive altar boy persona just makes him hotter, he can yell jesus all he wants while taking it from behind.
Posted by hifiandrew on December 15, 2011 at 6:29 PM
33
Tebow's gotta be one of those protest too much closet cases who we'll someday find has been having some Colt model pound his bung-hole for years.
Posted by Jersey on December 16, 2011 at 8:33 AM
mtnlion 34
Aw, saw adorable Jeffery Self on 30 Rock a couple seasons ago! Happy to see his cute-gay-face-voice again. James Franco was also in the episode so it was a pretty solid day.


Also, why is the youtube community consistently and unrelentingly made up of the stupidest commenters in website history? Occasionally I want to start an account to refute the amazing "points" they make, and then I realize it'd be like that time I tried to talk to the Lynden LaRoche people and so I back away.
Posted by mtnlion on December 16, 2011 at 8:49 AM
BEG 35
Well, Self won't have me and I wont' have Tebow so I've not much to contribute here (tho yeah, if Tebow is caught out later, won't be one bit surprised... it's the noisiest xians, y'know...)

@34 I have no idea why youtube commenters are such a cesspool. I never even try to read them anymore.
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on December 16, 2011 at 12:32 PM

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