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News & ArtsWednesday, December 14, 2011
Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: Anger Management Tissues
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Dec 14, 2011 at 4:38 PM
So, last night, after a sexy, spur-of-the-moment session that left me feeling sleepy and sappy, my partner, who typically feels sleepy and sappy herself after some hard, sweaty work in the sack, picks up her cell phone and texts someone! The fury that arose within me could not be contained! Neither the text message itself nor its recipient were the issue (it was to a coworker, it was about a work matter), the issue was the etiquette! She couldn’t wait a few minutes to hug and kiss and say “that was hot” before sending some inconsequential text?!? She thinks I'm overreacting, that it isn't a big deal, and blames it on me being premenstrual. She has not apologized. How does she not get it? Am I overreacting? Isn’t post-sex texting tacky?
Wasn’t That Fucked?
My response after the jump...
···················
Post-sex texting is tacky, WTF, and it’s thoughtless. I can understand why you were annoyed. I can also understand why your girlfriend is refusing to apologize. If one stupid, ill-timed text sent your panties so far up your crack that it unleashed a “fury that could not be contained”—if you really flew into a rage and berated your girlfriend for being uncharacteristically inconsiderate (it sounds like she usually makes with the post-coital hugs, kisses, compliments, etc.)—then yours was the greater offense.
Don’t get me wrong: your girlfriend owes you an apology. But you owe her a bigger one, WTF, and yours should come first.
5
And in the texter's defense, it's difficult to feel sleepy/sappy (or even sexy) if there is something work-related on your mind that could be taken care of by sending a quick text.
7
As usual, you are correct.
I sometimes think you're too quick with the "DTMF", but here we have a clear case of an extremely minor-league bit of thoughtlessness. In fact, I think they will find that being a bit thoughtless and rude AND THEN ACKNOWLEDGING AND APOLOGIZING, will strengthen your relationship more than total human perfection ever could.
Now, myself, I like to bound out of bed with a "well, that ought to hold you for a while" and get back to my marathon of "Storage Wars". But the Fnarf is not for everyone.
I sometimes think you're too quick with the "DTMF", but here we have a clear case of an extremely minor-league bit of thoughtlessness. In fact, I think they will find that being a bit thoughtless and rude AND THEN ACKNOWLEDGING AND APOLOGIZING, will strengthen your relationship more than total human perfection ever could.
Now, myself, I like to bound out of bed with a "well, that ought to hold you for a while" and get back to my marathon of "Storage Wars". But the Fnarf is not for everyone.
8
Uh, gee, thanks for that Kirk (um, I mean Fnarf).
As to 5280's comment: Ha ha ha ha...he's killing me.
As to 5280's comment: Ha ha ha ha...he's killing me.
9
@4, seems to be two women ("she ... blames it on me being premenstrual")
A lot going on here. Accusations of being "premenstrual"... Girlfriend obviously thinking about work during sexy time ... LW way overreacting to minor etiquette mistake... Both people refusing to apologize... Not sure this will end well, but sounds like they're long overdue for more communication...
A lot going on here. Accusations of being "premenstrual"... Girlfriend obviously thinking about work during sexy time ... LW way overreacting to minor etiquette mistake... Both people refusing to apologize... Not sure this will end well, but sounds like they're long overdue for more communication...
10
@ 4, LW is a woman. "... and blames it on me being premenstrual."
And... LW sounds like someone who has a stick waaaaaaay up her ass about etiquette. Or perhaps texting. Either way, take Dan's advice and relax.
And... LW sounds like someone who has a stick waaaaaaay up her ass about etiquette. Or perhaps texting. Either way, take Dan's advice and relax.
12
As usual I seem to be from a different planet. Nobody (but me) is surprised that there are phones in the bedroom. None in ours. In fact, we can't hear the phones when we're asleep. Unless you're on call, whatever the hell it is can wait until the morning. Call a taxi/ambulance/police/fire brigade if it's an "emergency". If somebody has died I can wait until the morning to find the bad news. My resurrection skills are not good in any case.
13
Note to WTF: post-coital time is when you take whatever is in your ass *out*. Then you sweetly kiss your love-muffin while throwing her cel across the room.
14
Maybe they can compromise and get a little egg timer, set it up beside the bed (or wherever), and have it tick off the requisite cuddle time before either participant can start doing something else. See? Clearly established rules, everybody is happy.
15
Actually, the whole falling asleep first thing is really critical so I can see why one person was upset, as she is sensing the thing might be over.
Sex is about satisfying and getting satisfied. A person who completes a lovefest like that and is still awake and on the hunt for more action is going to stray...it is just a matter of tome.
Sex is about satisfying and getting satisfied. A person who completes a lovefest like that and is still awake and on the hunt for more action is going to stray...it is just a matter of tome.
16
@ 12, cell phones generally go wherever you go. (I turn mine off at night for the same reasons you don't bring one into your bedroom.)
18
Just because WTF offended her girlfriend, that doesn't mean WTF doesn't have a story. Which is why Dan is flat-out wrong.
If WTF's offense invalidates her story -- guess what? WTF was offended first. And from Dan's take, legitimately so. Going by Dan's reasoning, WTF's girlfriend has no story, with which to take offense from WTF in the first place, because she offended first.
WTF shouldn't consider settling the relationship because of the offense. WTF should consider settling the relationship because she's unheard in it. There is no taking that well.
If WTF's offense invalidates her story -- guess what? WTF was offended first. And from Dan's take, legitimately so. Going by Dan's reasoning, WTF's girlfriend has no story, with which to take offense from WTF in the first place, because she offended first.
WTF shouldn't consider settling the relationship because of the offense. WTF should consider settling the relationship because she's unheard in it. There is no taking that well.
21
Am I the only person that doesn't think it's out-of-bounds to send a quick post-sex? There will be plenty of time for cuddling, a text doesn't take long. Especially because this is the partner we're talking about, someone who ostensibly gives sex on the regular, but does not regularly text after sex. It's such a stupid thing to fight about I can barely believe it even occurred to you to be upset, let alone full of rage.
24
Am I the only one that read the "spur-of-the-moment" part??? If there was a work issue that needed to be communicated on her mind before the spur of that moment came up and she sent it off quickly at the next available moment so that she would be available for the following moments...I see no problem, in fact, a quick text is a good sign of a long and uninterrupted night.
Multiple texts or text DURING sex = unacceptable.
Multiple texts or text DURING sex = unacceptable.
25
When you're in a situation where you have sex with someone regularly, you no longer get to expect gooshily romantic constant attention, earth-shaking arousal, or extensive cuddly aftercare every single time.
Jesus, settle down. It was a tiny thing that took moments and you don't mention her dashing out of the room to meet whoever she was texting immediately afterward. You need to chill the fuck out.
You kinda sound like one of those vaguely technophobic types who think that anything that involves technology that's less than ten years old is automatically fifty percent ruder than otherwise. I have this image of you grinding your teeth and thinking, "FUCKING GODDAMN KIDS" while watching a teenager quietly texting on the bus.
Jesus, settle down. It was a tiny thing that took moments and you don't mention her dashing out of the room to meet whoever she was texting immediately afterward. You need to chill the fuck out.
You kinda sound like one of those vaguely technophobic types who think that anything that involves technology that's less than ten years old is automatically fifty percent ruder than otherwise. I have this image of you grinding your teeth and thinking, "FUCKING GODDAMN KIDS" while watching a teenager quietly texting on the bus.
26
@24
Agreed. The LW should be happy that the "spur of the moment" advance wasn't first put off to fire off said text message. That would be more worthy of uncontained fury.
*sigh* I only wish my sexual dissatisfactions were so trivial.
Agreed. The LW should be happy that the "spur of the moment" advance wasn't first put off to fire off said text message. That would be more worthy of uncontained fury.
*sigh* I only wish my sexual dissatisfactions were so trivial.
27
@ 21, flip your remark on its head for a moment. "There will be plenty of time for texting, a cuddle doesn't take long."
That just sounds a lot more caring and considerate to me than what you said. And it's never unreasonable to be upset about someone doing something insensitive - although, as everyone seems to agree, the LW blew way the hell out of proportion.
Now, maybe @ 24 has it right, in which case the LW should count herself lucky she wasn't dumped. But that's speculation.
That just sounds a lot more caring and considerate to me than what you said. And it's never unreasonable to be upset about someone doing something insensitive - although, as everyone seems to agree, the LW blew way the hell out of proportion.
Now, maybe @ 24 has it right, in which case the LW should count herself lucky she wasn't dumped. But that's speculation.
28
The proper response in this scenario is to grab your cell as well and send her a message saying "What are you doing sending postcoital texts, were you raised in a barn?"
...And then laugh it off. Sheesh.
...And then laugh it off. Sheesh.
29
It's an age thing. Younger people text all the time. Accept it. I'm just glad that I had my fling with a younger man BEFORE all this texting shit got started.
30
WTF really needs to remove something from her ass. She states that the sex was "spur of the moment" which means that maybe it was interrupting what her girlfriend was doing and she wanted to get it settled before going to sleep.. The proper response to the situation is at most a little annoyance and eye-rolling not a "fury that could not be contained" because if a little misstep like that prompts such a response how are you going to handle a bigger mistake? I hate to sound overly dramatic but that's a reaction that could escalate into abuse if you don't get a handle on it.
31
I feel like I'm on a different planet with this one. If this would bother LW if it became a habit, like leaving your shoes by the door instead of in the closet or something, then it's fine to bring it up nicely, but it would never occur to me that a quick post-sex text was out of bounds as a matter of course. My phone is never more than three feet from me. Rolling over and grabbing it after feels completely natural to me. My bf and I often meet up with people and go out afterward, if we hook up early-evening, so we need to see if anyone's invited us someplace, and let our friends know that we're "done" and ready to make plans. But then, I'm 22. (Probably unsurprising, after the attitude I just described.) So maybe this is a generational thing?
32
I like @24's take. But I want to know who initiated the "spur-of-the-moment session." And I want to know if the girlfriend's next step after texting was going to be some cuddle time, or if she was already on her way back to her computer to do more work. But I guess we'll never know since the LW blew the evening up into a fight.
33
At the risk of being pedantic, if they're both female, it can't be post-coital anything:
Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coitus
(or has pegging changed the above definition?)
Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coitus
(or has pegging changed the above definition?)
34
i agree that it was kinda dumb to send a text (or make a call or whatever) right after without first doing the "thanks, baby. mmm, that was nice." however. nothing makes me dig my heels in and refuse to apologize for a minor slight than when my partner gets all "OHMYGODYOU'RETHEBIGGESTJERKEVERRRRRRR!!!" about it. dan's right. the letter writer needs to calm the fuck down first. then the partner will be like, "you're right, babe. sorry. that was a dumbass thing to do. can i make it up to you with a round two?"
35
@33 - Care to suggest a better replacement then?
Also, "coitus" has no gender connotations according to a much higher linguistic authority:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…
Also, "coitus" has no gender connotations according to a much higher linguistic authority:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…
36
Garrett: You're just going to have to trust me about this one thing. You need a lot of drinks.
Aurora: To break the ice?
Garrett: To kill the bug that you have up your ASS.
38
As usual, I don't like either of these two enough to advise separation.
We really ought to have a No Exit contest on a regular basis. There are so many tantalizing combinations of people who could torment each other superbly. Not that I'd necessarily include either of these two, but the letter did get the idea to pop back into mind.
We really ought to have a No Exit contest on a regular basis. There are so many tantalizing combinations of people who could torment each other superbly. Not that I'd necessarily include either of these two, but the letter did get the idea to pop back into mind.
40
Given how forgetful I am, you'd be lucky if I didn't write SEVERAL notes to myself after a spur-of-the-moment session. My house is becoming littered with them. WTF needs chill pills.
41
These two are bound for lesbian bed death within two years. Way too hyper-sensitive on WTF's part. But texting right after sex? Good God- I see people out on dates busily texting their dates or others. Can no one use their words anymore, or tolerate the company they keep?
I'm sure their tongues will fall off discussing this before they get this little thing hashed out, or before they have sex again for that matter.
I'm sure their tongues will fall off discussing this before they get this little thing hashed out, or before they have sex again for that matter.
42
I always post a "Just got laid!" status update immediately after sex, sometimes accompanied by a photo. What's the big deal?
43
I like 24's take.
It sounds like WTF's girlfriend had some work issue pop into her head, and she wanted to resolve it before she forgot.
Better to have her fake the post-coital lovey-dovey stuff, while counting the minutes until she can break away, or have her get the work issue out of her head, and off her agenda, to give sincere, non-distracted, post-coital lovey-dovey stuff?
I think most adults choose the latter. Dan was too nice to WTF--her psychotic over-reaction is a much bigger problem than the post-sex text.
Lesbian--meh. Love them in porn, but in real life there's so often so much needless drama.
It sounds like WTF's girlfriend had some work issue pop into her head, and she wanted to resolve it before she forgot.
Better to have her fake the post-coital lovey-dovey stuff, while counting the minutes until she can break away, or have her get the work issue out of her head, and off her agenda, to give sincere, non-distracted, post-coital lovey-dovey stuff?
I think most adults choose the latter. Dan was too nice to WTF--her psychotic over-reaction is a much bigger problem than the post-sex text.
Lesbian--meh. Love them in porn, but in real life there's so often so much needless drama.
44
"@ 21, flip your remark on its head for a moment. "There will be plenty of time for texting, a cuddle doesn't take long."
That just sounds a lot more caring and considerate to me than what you said."
It also sounds inaccurate. Cuddling can last for awhile. I personally would have zero issue with a partner texting about something important after we had sex.
That just sounds a lot more caring and considerate to me than what you said."
It also sounds inaccurate. Cuddling can last for awhile. I personally would have zero issue with a partner texting about something important after we had sex.
45
Lordy, sex columns have clearly outlived their usefulness if this is the kind of letters you are publishing.
46
I'm with @12. I was out with someone and they kept on texting and I didn't go out with them again. Heck, if I'm at a party and someone starts texting while we're talking I walk away from them.
It's prob an age thing. The letter writer doesn't mention that.
But heck, if you get cross and yr partner accuses you of being "premenstrual" you should break up w/them anyway!
It's prob an age thing. The letter writer doesn't mention that.
But heck, if you get cross and yr partner accuses you of being "premenstrual" you should break up w/them anyway!
47
Lesbian--meh. Love them in porn, but in real life there's so often so much needless drama.
Whereas heterosexual and gay male couples are invariably mature, rational, and level-headed about everything pertaining to sex and relationships.
Seriously, though, this letter makes me wonder if perhaps WTF's relationship with her girlfriend is starting to go sour. Maybe her "uncontainable fury" was just one of those random mood blips (hormonally induced or otherwise) that afflict even the best of us . . . or maybe she's in that magical stage of falling out of love where every little breach of etiquette her partner commits somehow looks like a blatant affront to human decency. Or maybe she's just a controlling, self-centered enema nozzle, and her girlfriend would be well-advised to do her texting in somebody else's bed.
48
I once dated a Gen Y woman ten years younger than me, and it was the texting on dates that made it as easy to lose her as it was. If you can't turn off your phone and be in the moment with your date while you're on a date, then it's not a date.
What can I say, I totally sympathise with WTF.
Getting angry might not have been the best tactic, but letting her know it's not cool with you is totally fair, and if she can't exert some self control around her phone when she's with you, then give her a chance or two and then DTMFA
What can I say, I totally sympathise with WTF.
Getting angry might not have been the best tactic, but letting her know it's not cool with you is totally fair, and if she can't exert some self control around her phone when she's with you, then give her a chance or two and then DTMFA
49
This letter isn't about texting. You could substitute any casual action and the LW's response would be the same.
This is about one person experiencing a deeper level of connection than the other. The texting is upsetting because it's a sign that the other person doesn't feel what you feel. That can be horrifying.
This is about one person experiencing a deeper level of connection than the other. The texting is upsetting because it's a sign that the other person doesn't feel what you feel. That can be horrifying.
50
Wow...I'm so glad I'm a guy...this is the kind of thin-skinned hyper-sensitivity that I think only two women can accomplish! A couple of things:
- seems like it's guys who normally pull the "fall asleep right after" routine, not gals.
- seems like it's guys who are most likely to whip out a phone and start texting in lieu of post-orgasmic cuddling.
These are stereotypes of course, but the irony in this letter, it burns! I think Dan is completely right: they're both obnoxious, but LW is more obnoxious.
- seems like it's guys who normally pull the "fall asleep right after" routine, not gals.
- seems like it's guys who are most likely to whip out a phone and start texting in lieu of post-orgasmic cuddling.
These are stereotypes of course, but the irony in this letter, it burns! I think Dan is completely right: they're both obnoxious, but LW is more obnoxious.
51
I think if anyone reacted with "a fury that could not be contained" in the bedroom with me, I'd be out the door pretty fast. The idea that someone could go from "sappy and snuggly" to a fit of rage in 0.5 is a little alarming to me. Far more alarming than someone sending a post-coital text message. As Dan noted, this SEEMS like a one-time thing on the girlfriend's part. If you can't just laugh about a one-time minor slip-up or calmly address it, you've got an issue or two.
I was once with a guy who would get irritated when I wasn't on exactly the same page with him with regard to mood/pace/passion/whatever. It also manifested in other parts of our lives, outside the bedroom. It took me a while to realize how controlling this was: I wasn't fitting in with his vision of what should be happening and he couldn't handle it rationally. That's just nuts. If you're generally on the same page, there's no reason to freak out about the rare instances that you're not.
I was once with a guy who would get irritated when I wasn't on exactly the same page with him with regard to mood/pace/passion/whatever. It also manifested in other parts of our lives, outside the bedroom. It took me a while to realize how controlling this was: I wasn't fitting in with his vision of what should be happening and he couldn't handle it rationally. That's just nuts. If you're generally on the same page, there's no reason to freak out about the rare instances that you're not.
53
42 FTW.
It doesn't sound like LW and her girl have been together that long... Maybe just a little bit of insecurity happening here?
I know in my house, when the sex is over, sandwiches are being made, cause I'm hungry. Next, I'm probably running the vacuum cleaner or some shit. The after sex "I love yous" are the same as "do you want a glass of orange juice or what?" Some people just want to get on with their lives, it doesn't make them horrible. LW needs to apologize for flipping out and I'm sure in the future the girlfriend will wait the appropriate amount of time for the texting ban to be lifted post sex.
It doesn't sound like LW and her girl have been together that long... Maybe just a little bit of insecurity happening here?
I know in my house, when the sex is over, sandwiches are being made, cause I'm hungry. Next, I'm probably running the vacuum cleaner or some shit. The after sex "I love yous" are the same as "do you want a glass of orange juice or what?" Some people just want to get on with their lives, it doesn't make them horrible. LW needs to apologize for flipping out and I'm sure in the future the girlfriend will wait the appropriate amount of time for the texting ban to be lifted post sex.
54
Remember when Putty stole Jerry's move? Well, WTF stole my line. Just before cuming/coming, as a thoughtful warning, I always yell, "The fury inside me CANNOT be contained!" Been doing that since I was 15. Nothing is unique anymore.
55
Danny, did you know that Mitt Romney wouldn't just be our first Mormon president, if he manages to get himself elected, but the first Lesbian to sit in the Oval Office too?
56
I liked this one. The conflict was mundane but I assumed the writer was a weirdly over-sensitive dude. Then came the PMS remark...ah lesbians, of course, of course.
Kidding aside, in a LTR you go through phases where you take what you have for granted. The correct way to handle this was to say something like "put down that damn phone and cuddle with me for five minutes".
It took me a long time to figure out that you have to ask for what you want from your partner. Getting mad at them for not reading your mind or feeling as "sleepy and sappy" at the same time is what causes conflict and heartbreak. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Kidding aside, in a LTR you go through phases where you take what you have for granted. The correct way to handle this was to say something like "put down that damn phone and cuddle with me for five minutes".
It took me a long time to figure out that you have to ask for what you want from your partner. Getting mad at them for not reading your mind or feeling as "sleepy and sappy" at the same time is what causes conflict and heartbreak. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
57
So, fury is WTF's super power. I was just thinking how, at times, while getting the fuck of the century, a work matter would pop into my head that made me realize I needed to give attention to it instantly. I simply hailed my gimp who had sat silently in my walk-in closet for a couple of days and had him finish off my mate while I attended to this important business. I realize that some people see little to no value in maintaining a gimp on-premises but, see a need-fill a need. Good planning makes for the greatest harmony.
58
@49 "The texting is upsetting because it's a sign that the other person doesn't feel what you feel."
@51 "If you're generally on the same page, there's no reason to freak out about the rare instances that you're not."
@56 "Getting mad at them for not reading your mind or feeling as "sleepy and sappy" at the same time is what causes conflict and heartbreak."
I liked how these comments spoke to each other ... Bottom line, if you're rarely on the same page, that does feel horrible. But two people aren't always going to feel the same feelings, even after they've been intimate together. Getting angry isn't going to help - just let them know you're frustrated, and then, with luck, they'll say "you're right, babe...can i make it up to you with a round two?" (@34)
@51 "If you're generally on the same page, there's no reason to freak out about the rare instances that you're not."
@56 "Getting mad at them for not reading your mind or feeling as "sleepy and sappy" at the same time is what causes conflict and heartbreak."
I liked how these comments spoke to each other ... Bottom line, if you're rarely on the same page, that does feel horrible. But two people aren't always going to feel the same feelings, even after they've been intimate together. Getting angry isn't going to help - just let them know you're frustrated, and then, with luck, they'll say "you're right, babe...can i make it up to you with a round two?" (@34)
59
@57: sexual stunt double. Can it work the other way? You are doing some important work when the potential fuck of the decade presents itself and you send your manservant to take care of your work while you take care of business.
I have Seinfeld on the brain today: Mickey: "I used to stand in for Punky Brewster!"
I have Seinfeld on the brain today: Mickey: "I used to stand in for Punky Brewster!"
61
I don't want to deduce too much relationship drama from this situation. It looks like one of those minor disputes that pop up frequently in relationships ('You forgot to buy the bread? YOU FORGOT TO BUY THE BREAD? Why you #@&*#!'). What WTF's partner did was a little inconsiderate, WTF's reaction was clearly an overreaction... just as it happens with us every now and then. They should both say 'sorry' and try to be more considerate next time.
It's only a 'sign' of something if it's a pattern, which the letter doesn't indicate. Otherwise, just normal, everyday little random acts of unkindness.
It's only a 'sign' of something if it's a pattern, which the letter doesn't indicate. Otherwise, just normal, everyday little random acts of unkindness.
62
@49 I agree, you can substitute any casual action into this. But I'm looking at it the other way; If a guy I was with and I had just finished up and he said, "Oh shit, I forgot to turn off the bathroom light" and then quickly did so, I might be mildly annoyed that he ditched me for a second, but I certainly would not be filled with a fury that could not be contained. Dan is right: the text was a gaffe, but the overreaction was the much bigger offense.
64
IMO, the texting is more than a random casual action. I can see how it can be interpreted by the LW as "other people are more interesting than me at this moment".
65
I can see how _immediately_ reaching for the phone carries a certain whiff of "meh" about what just happened, somewhat akin to rolling over and going straight to sleep, or pushing your chair away from a nice dinner while still chewing the last bite, with a barely suppressed burp and a "thanks, gotta get back to that WoW mission." If you can't spare 30 seconds of heartfelt appreciation, it's not surprising that the other person feels unappreciated.
Suggestion for future encounters: if this really was a "spur of the moment" thing AND it interrupted something urgent going down at work, girlfriend should ask for the extra five minutes up front, to finish firing off that email, so she can then devote her attentions to her sweetheart in an uninterrupted fashion.
To the LW, my advice is to avoid hyperbole when writing advice letters. I suspect -- actually, I hope -- your "fury that could not be contained!" is a bit of an exaggeration, and putting it that way did not gain you any sympathy here. (If it wasn't an exaggeration, and you subjected your girl to a screaming fit, ...get help.)
Suggestion for future encounters: if this really was a "spur of the moment" thing AND it interrupted something urgent going down at work, girlfriend should ask for the extra five minutes up front, to finish firing off that email, so she can then devote her attentions to her sweetheart in an uninterrupted fashion.
To the LW, my advice is to avoid hyperbole when writing advice letters. I suspect -- actually, I hope -- your "fury that could not be contained!" is a bit of an exaggeration, and putting it that way did not gain you any sympathy here. (If it wasn't an exaggeration, and you subjected your girl to a screaming fit, ...get help.)
66
Texting is a pariah of this earth. And the arrogance that comes with it is a pestulance. And the lack of regard for others is a pox upon us all.
But maybe not that big of a deal either. Ask her not to.
But maybe not that big of a deal either. Ask her not to.
67
"Just because WTF offended her girlfriend, that doesn't mean WTF doesn't have a story. Which is why Dan is flat-out wrong."
Dan's not saying she doesn't have a right to be miffed. Dan's saying that the level of seething anger is disproportionate and possibly a sign of other issues. She needs to relax more, and the girlfriend needs to understand, but will not understand if she's getting yelled at with vitriol.
Dan's not saying she doesn't have a right to be miffed. Dan's saying that the level of seething anger is disproportionate and possibly a sign of other issues. She needs to relax more, and the girlfriend needs to understand, but will not understand if she's getting yelled at with vitriol.
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