Slog

News & Arts

The Stranger Suggests

Critics' Best Bets
Music Arts & Food


Line Out

Music & the City
at Night

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Death of a Hyena

Posted by on Tue, Dec 6, 2011 at 8:01 AM

Begin at 2:35...


The female lion almost gets that horrible hyena (and all hyenas are horrible), but after a tumble, it manages to find its feet and escape with its life. Then comes the male lion. It directs all of its strength into the pursuit. This is what it means to be a shumba. The force, the swipe, the kill. The hyena is history. Watching this video makes one thing clear: Being eaten by a lion is infinitely better than being eaten by a hyena. A lion eating you has about it the nobility of a sacrifice. You want the king of the jungle to devour your heart and roar. Hyenas do not devour; they pick at you horribly.

 

Comments (19) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Of course, lions get their asses kicked by hyenas on a regular basis. They're both also matriarchal societies where the men are there to breed and look pretty. So I'm amused by the verbal erection felt for the male lion.
Posted by NateMan on December 6, 2011 at 8:21 AM
2
male lions are worthless whores
Posted by Nala on December 6, 2011 at 8:29 AM
3
@1and 2: You may be correct but your claim is contradicted by the video itself, in which a male lion kills a hyena.
Posted by Jude Fawley on December 6, 2011 at 9:00 AM
TortoiseTurtle 4
@1 + 2, ...Which says what about your opinion of women in a patriarchal society?
Posted by TortoiseTurtle http://slog.thestranger.com on December 6, 2011 at 9:12 AM
5
Charles just can't stand any species that not only has a matriarchal social structure but has the temerity to allow the females to have external genitalia that are nearly indistinguishable from penises.

Having personally known a pair of hyenas I can attest that they are pretty friendly when satiated and loaded with personality.
Posted by troutbum on December 6, 2011 at 9:14 AM
6
@4... Huh? It says we're better than lions. You know, thumbs and women in the workforce and everything. Yay us!
Posted by NateMan on December 6, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Sargon Bighorn 7
God I would so love to be a worthless whore. Lions have all the fun.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on December 6, 2011 at 9:28 AM
Dudeilicous 8
What a cool majestic beast. My mini beast attacks her Evo in the same manner, raarrrrr!
Posted by Dudeilicous on December 6, 2011 at 10:02 AM
9
Can we talk about the fact that female hyenas, the pack leaders, have a scary looking pseudo-penis?!?!

I think I even remember in this same Lions v Hyenas National Geo special that other female hyenas have to lick the female seudo-penis to show solidarity.

Hyenas, they nasty.
Posted by Kelly O on December 6, 2011 at 10:42 AM
thatsnotright 10
Charles, you really only like pretty animals you can relate to don't you? There is no "better than" in nature. Everything is equally good in its place. Anthropomorphising should be a title for one of your "Out of Africa" posts; after all, only humans do it.
Posted by thatsnotright on December 6, 2011 at 10:43 AM
venomlash 11
The Lion King: Special Charles Mudede Edition
Posted by venomlash on December 6, 2011 at 10:49 AM
12
This is why I hate Mudede posts. It's a simple video of animals doing what animals do. He apparently can't say, "I like lions - I associate them with nobility." No, he has to phrase his anthropomorphised view of animal behavior as a statement of fact. Since the Stranger gives him this bully pulpit, he certainly has that opportunity.

The self-importance, the pointless pontificating - these are why being consumed by a Dan Savage post is infinitely better than being consumed by a Charles Mudede post.
Posted by Centrists Rule the World today on December 6, 2011 at 11:18 AM
Andrew Cole 13
@13, weirdly, those are all the same reasons I *like* Mudede posts. I don't always agree with Charles, but he's so overtly thinking about gender politics ALL THE TIME, even in (especially in!) his unrelated posts like this.

Things I've learned about what Charles considers manly:

* not crying (men do not share their sorrow in public)
* taking public transportation (men are communal; men collaborate)
* dispatch (men do distasteful things quickly, proudly and well)

He's kind of a nice complement to Savage, actually. I tend to think that Mudede is trying to get to the bedrock of what it means to be male, and Savage (generally) is trying to complicate the issue, to unsettle the notion of gender roles and gender expectations. I would hardcore LOVE to see Charles Mudede guest star on the Lovecast. That would be an argument worth witnessing.
Posted by Andrew Cole on December 6, 2011 at 12:01 PM
Andrew Cole 14
Ach, should have been @12. Sorry!
Posted by Andrew Cole on December 6, 2011 at 12:04 PM
15
Being eaten by a lion is infinitely better than being eaten by a hyena.

But which is the greater risk in these here parts?
Posted by RonK, Seattle on December 6, 2011 at 12:50 PM
16
@1 (and possibly 5) Christ almighty it was a fucking joke. And no, lion prides aren't matriarchal they're patriarchal. The alpha male is in charge of the pride. And more over, who gives a fuck if they're matriarchal or patriarchal; they're fucking lions.

And it would be, in most instances, better to be killed by a lion b/c they go for your jugular right off the bat and put you out of your misery.
Posted by bassplayerguy on December 6, 2011 at 1:54 PM
17
#16
Work on your fucking reading comprehension you infintile asshole.
Posted by troutbum on December 6, 2011 at 5:15 PM
Just Jeff 18
I used to watch Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom" every Sunday night (just priot to "The Wonderful World of Disney" - airing at (gasp!) 7pm.

I used to wonder why Jim and/or Marlin Perkins didn't intervene to prevent the poor gazelle/zebra/emu/whatever from being attacked and eaten by those nasty veldt cats.

The cocksuckers never did. They let the poor lanky animals die at the hands of the big kitties/dogs.

Today - I own both cats and dogs (the small variety) and every once in awhile I give them a good kick in the balls for the acts of their African evolutionary divergents.

Still, I have never forgiven Jim and Marlin, who probably spent their time off camera giving each other sloppy oral and reach-arounds. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by Just Jeff http://pstonews.wordpress.com on December 6, 2011 at 8:55 PM
19
@17 Reading comprehension is just fine.
Posted by bassplayerguy on December 7, 2011 at 1:02 AM

Add a comment

Advertisement
 

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy