The biggest problem I have with Newt Gingrich's second coming is that it justifies Newt Gingrich's existence to Newt Gingrich. When he began running for president, his campaign was laughable—surprise luxury cruises to Greece, bad fanfic, and fancy credit agreements with Tiffany's. And now, I'm sure, Gingrich attributes his own rise in the polls to a the trust and respect that the American people have developed for him, now that they've gotten to know him a little better. Really, all it is is Gingrich is the last not-Romney standing, and so Republicans are turning to him as a last resort. Still, once he's out of the race, Gingrich will be able to parlay this into a profitable side-business (I mean besides his very profitable lobbying business.) This motherfucker is going to eat out on this surge of popularity for the rest of his life, and that drives me crazy.

But all of Gingrich's smugness will be worth it if a Mitt Romney/Newt Gingrich race breaks out once the primary votes start. These two men have so much in common—they're both unlikable, stiff, self-righteous, cowardly, flip-flop happy, and about as far away from charismatic as you can get without a facial tattoo—that if they keep pummeling each other all the way to Super Tuesday, the general voting public will shudder with revulsion at the sight of the eventual winner. I'm not sure if the Gingrich blip will last until January (have any of these temporary frontrunners stuck around for two full months?) but if it does, he might become the default not-Romney, and that repulsive two-man race really would be something to see.