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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Holy Ghost Pulls Prank, Physically Teleports Evangelist to China

Posted by on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 at 10:18 AM

"When I opened up my eyes, I was physically standing inside an elevator full of Chinese people.. they were under my armpits, they were in front of me, they were behind me... the firs thing that came to my mind was, 'How am I going to get back to Florida?'"

Via Christian Nightmares:


If you just read the transcript, it's easy to dismiss evangelist Joshua Mills as batshit. But watching the video, his faith half convinces you that the Holy Ghost really is the benevolent king of pranksters.

 

Comments (16) RSS

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Cracker Jack 16
They were just jealous of the godless heathens who get to do astral projection. More Christ-y rebranding!
Posted by Cracker Jack on November 23, 2011 at 3:38 PM · Report this
15
This is truly the power of religion! If someone put this out there in a secular context they'd get a magical transport to the 5th floor at Harborview where the elevators don't stop.

What a nut.
Posted by otis skidmore on November 23, 2011 at 12:35 PM · Report this
wockyjockey 14
oh, i see, all chinese people are short. racist.
Posted by wockyjockey on November 23, 2011 at 11:38 AM · Report this
Andy 13
It's true: gays have the power of teleportation. But waking up in an elevator orgy with Chinese guys? That's the mescaline cocktail.
Posted by Andy on November 23, 2011 at 11:38 AM · Report this
12
My gaydar is went off the charts within the first two seconds that his face was on the screen. The gaydar probably would have blown a fuse if I had the sound turned up. I'll have to check what his voice sounds like when I get home where there are speakers.
Posted by jnonymous on November 23, 2011 at 11:30 AM · Report this
11
He may very well have been online and become confused with this:

http://www.technologyreview.com/blog/arx…

In China, paid posters are known as the Internet Water Army because they are ready and willing to 'flood' the internet for whoever is willing to pay. The flood can consist of comments, gossip and information (or disinformation) and there seems to be plenty of demand for this army's services.

[Sidebar: That's exactly the way they used to circumvent NSA's spying on them: they would start broadcasting a G3B signal from thousands of different sites around the country, but only several would be the real site.]
Posted by sgt_doom on November 23, 2011 at 11:07 AM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 10
Is this real or parody? I can't tell?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on November 23, 2011 at 11:06 AM · Report this
Vince 9
Hey, if a Christian says it, it must be so. So lay off with the gay Chinese armpit jokes.
Posted by Vince on November 23, 2011 at 11:00 AM · Report this
Lola, Missing Iowa City 8
Hmmm, methinks he's also gonna get transported to a gay club soon as too. "Gay men under my armpits!"
Posted by Lola, Missing Iowa City on November 23, 2011 at 10:53 AM · Report this
aardvark 7
he needs a real boyfriend
Posted by aardvark on November 23, 2011 at 10:51 AM · Report this
Simply Me 6
"I felt the Holy Ghost cum upon me." Fun! I want the DVD set.
Posted by Simply Me on November 23, 2011 at 10:46 AM · Report this
5
That blonde lady sounds drunk.
Posted by Sahoyah on November 23, 2011 at 10:46 AM · Report this
Roscoe 4
A quick check of his passport should refute this little miracle.
Posted by Roscoe on November 23, 2011 at 10:44 AM · Report this
3
... and so if you are waiting in line at the airport, just remember that if God loved you, you'd be there already.
Posted by YoungBS on November 23, 2011 at 10:37 AM · Report this
2
I have had Chinese people under my armpits before, too. Well, not under them, but all up in them. Some fellas just seem to like that.
Posted by gloomy gus on November 23, 2011 at 10:26 AM · Report this
1
Fascinating layers of idiosyncratic vocabulary. Practically a different language, which might be the point.
Posted by YoungBS on November 23, 2011 at 10:25 AM · Report this

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