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If there is one thing The Stranger loves more than deviant sexual intercourse, it is legitimacy. Imagine the smug look of self-satisfaction on GOLDY's face, say, when he is mentioned in passing on a local political blog, or the sneering laughter that must have erupted from DAN SAVAGE's mouth when he saw that Seattle magazine, for reasons that I am sure involved blackmail, named him one of its men of the year. (That sneering laughter is presumably the most wholesome thing to come out of, or be deposited into, Mr. Savage's mouth in the last 30 years.) There is nothing more gratifying to a self-described outsider than to be embraced by the established, the respected, the mainstream.

Imagine the kind of raucous elation that has seized the three-story cardboard box known as Stranger headquarters, then, that the feature this week is a proposal for Occupy Wall Street written by one LAWRENCE WESCHLER. I do not know how The Stranger "landed" such a big name in liberal journalism—he is the author of many lauded books on politics and art and was a staff writer for 21 years at the New Yorker—but I presume the particulars include a bottle of chloroform and some rubber tubing. Perhaps someone lied to Mr. Weschler about the circulation, prestige, and per-word pay of The Stranger? If this is the case, I expect a rather dramatic lawsuit to erupt on the day Mr. Weschler opens an envelope expecting a sizable check and finds only a pair of expired Arby's coupons and a deflated balloon.

Elsewhere in this week's issue... NEWS: Another tired light-rail density fight? Check. More reckless blathering about the "need" for later bar hours? Check. Hysterical antibusiness braying about the supposed evil of plastic bags? No one ever tires of that! And still more propaganda in support of unlawful behavior on behalf of Occupy protesters, including a new battle cry to head to Olympia, of all places... LOOSE LIPS: This new gossip column on the art page takes voyeuristic glee in the burning down of a restaurant, among other news... VISUAL ART: A shut-in is declared a genius, and photos of his filthy Kleenexes are displayed where anyone can see them—which is to say, the art coverage this week is more disgusting than usual... BOOKS and THEATER: Pretentious... CHOW: A dessert for children is given a long, loving treatment by The Stranger's second-most-inept writer... FILM: A love letter to puppets, of all things, scratched out by The Stranger's most inept writer... MUSIC: Oh, grow up... SPORTS BLOTTER: The schadenfreude-powered weekly roundup of crimes committed by athletes now includes a Non-Pedophile Coach of the Week Award, noxiously... SAVAGE LOVE: I'd rather look at those photographs of mucus-stained tissues again than read it.