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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Lunchtime Quickie: It's Almost Thanksgiving...

Posted by on Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 12:16 PM you know where your kids (and the 5 lb. bags of flour) are?


Comments (46) RSS

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TVDinner 1
The shop vac is the greatest invention ever.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on November 22, 2011 at 12:26 PM · Report this
I fucking love cocaine!
Posted by mint chocolate chip on November 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM · Report this
Akbar Fazil 3
Who knew Tony Montana's mom put a vid up on youtube.
Posted by Akbar Fazil on November 22, 2011 at 12:30 PM · Report this
DameKitten 4
I just about lost it giggling when the kid says, "What's the matter, mommy?" Oh, such innocence. And for all of you who don't have kids that age: that probably happened in a matter of just a few minutes. Kids that age, particularly when there are two of them, are GENIUSES at destruction!

I don't even want to know how long that took to clean up. I hope she had help!
Posted by DameKitten on November 22, 2011 at 12:31 PM · Report this
If I weren't gay, that would be a great excuse for a vasectomy... however, I think this one is more effective/horrifying:

Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on November 22, 2011 at 12:33 PM · Report this
Dougsf 6
I like that one's dressed as a tiny contractor, and the other is dressed like a tiny escaped inmate from antiquity. Thank God neither of them have discovered matches.

At least they won't get ants.
Posted by Dougsf on November 22, 2011 at 12:34 PM · Report this
rob! 7
The perfect ending to that video would have been her walking backwards out the front door, getting into the car, and then looking through the windshield as she takes the first on-ramp to the Interstate.
Posted by rob! on November 22, 2011 at 12:44 PM · Report this
nseattlite 8
Is she un-parenting or something? How can she not scream bloody murder at those kids?
Posted by nseattlite on November 22, 2011 at 12:49 PM · Report this
i don't believe it for a second. she's too calm, the flour made it's way to some pretty high areas for tiny arms to be able to toss, and it's awfully evenly spread out. also, at 1:45, she pans down and her pant leg is also covered in flour. and that's a lot more than 5 pounds of flour... very, very questionable.
Posted by Rowlf on November 22, 2011 at 12:53 PM · Report this
@9. I'm with you.
I think mommy staged a little "funniest home video".
Posted by tacomagirl on November 22, 2011 at 12:56 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 11
This is staged.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on November 22, 2011 at 12:58 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 12
@ 9, you don't know anything about flour, nor how to listen to the clues in her voice.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 22, 2011 at 1:02 PM · Report this
starsandgarters 13
I figured it was staged when she had her phone video running before she "discovered" what the kids had done.
Posted by starsandgarters on November 22, 2011 at 1:03 PM · Report this
@9, 10 Agreed. Kids that old wouldn't be like, "what's the matter Mommy?" They'd be like, "Oh shit, here's Mommy." They know that's bad to do. And no way, no way in fucking Hell would she be that calm. No matter how laissez-faire she is in her parenting. That shit ain't going to clean itself.
Posted by CarolineD on November 22, 2011 at 1:03 PM · Report this
Could be staged. Unless Mom's on prescript drugs, she should be raising her voice and/or swearing, even a little
Posted by Kelly O on November 22, 2011 at 1:03 PM · Report this
my older brother did this as a toddler, with the contents of ALL the kitchen canisters (flour, sugar, coffee, tea bags); he wanted to make a "sandbox" in the kitchen.
Posted by SteamDawn on November 22, 2011 at 1:07 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 17
OTOH, you're right about the flour on her pants. All the rest I can see, but that's just not going to get on her like that.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 22, 2011 at 1:08 PM · Report this
TVDinner 18
You guys are probably right that it's staged, given the flour on her pants and the careful highlighting of flour in high places, but I'll say this about her calmness: when I came out of the shower one day to see that my toddler had smeared poop all over the living room and kitchen I felt my entire brain shutting down. I silently lifted the culprit - who was sporting a Dirty Sanchez, I might add - into the tub, bathed her and tried to say a few reassuring things to a kid who was obviously wigged out that her mother was so wigged out, then I shut her in the guest room while I painstakingly - and silently - cleaned every brown surface I could find.

There are times, my friends, there are times when shit gets so weird you are past freaking out.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on November 22, 2011 at 1:17 PM · Report this
Close your eyes and ignore the kids voices, mommy sounds like she's in a porno...
Posted by ugh1 on November 22, 2011 at 1:20 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 20
can you see where a swat on the rear might be appropriate now?
Posted by Max Solomon on November 22, 2011 at 1:21 PM · Report this
@18 OMG. I died a little inside after reading that.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on November 22, 2011 at 1:22 PM · Report this
DowntownTaylor 22
I'm in the staged camp. The kid comes to her, proudly showing the empty bag, as if she had instructed him to empty it.
Posted by DowntownTaylor on November 22, 2011 at 1:26 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 23
Staged...and who says oh my gosh?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on November 22, 2011 at 1:28 PM · Report this
Purocuyu 24
Oh her gosh.
Posted by Purocuyu on November 22, 2011 at 1:30 PM · Report this
aardvark 25
white people problems. is this the readers digest blog?
Posted by aardvark on November 22, 2011 at 1:31 PM · Report this
More, I Say! 26
@23, my aunt used to yell at us whenever we said "god."

My mum used to let me play with flour on the kitchen floor - she'd just pour it out and give me some sifters and shit. Controlled chaos to circumvent utter chaos?
Posted by More, I Say! on November 22, 2011 at 1:34 PM · Report this
@23 My mother made us say "gosh dangit" and "heck". You would get a warning for using the respective curse word counterparts, but gosh help you if you ever used the "F" word...
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on November 22, 2011 at 1:39 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 28
@ 23, a whole fuckton of people do.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 22, 2011 at 1:39 PM · Report this
stinkbug 29
Posted by stinkbug on November 22, 2011 at 1:49 PM · Report this
Allyn 30
I could see one of the boys running to her in the other room and hugging her legs. I could see her grabbing the camera before going out to the living room, knowing there’s going to be a mess of some sort. I could see not screaming bloody murder at a toddler and his slightly older brother. I have also seen kids (mine, certainly) throw a lot higher than you’d think possible.

I’m not going to say that it wasn’t staged, but I can see how that would happen in real life. My two-year-old came to me recently with an empty tub of eucerin (thick, creamy hand ointment – about 20 ounces worth). It was in her hair, all over her face and clothes, the couch, the chairs, carpet, her toys; it was everywhere. She was so proud and happy. I very calmy wiped her down and used every spare towel in the house to clean.

And, TVDinner @18, been there, too….
Posted by Allyn on November 22, 2011 at 1:49 PM · Report this
care bear 31
@30 I did that with sour cream when I was about 2
Posted by care bear on November 22, 2011 at 2:00 PM · Report this
Allyn 32
My mother showed this video to my kids (2,4,7) just now. Their responses, via my mother: they think she could say "oh my goodness", "Urg, I'm gonna go to another house", "you guys have to clean up that mess cause you made it"....
Posted by Allyn on November 22, 2011 at 2:06 PM · Report this
DameKitten 33
I don't actually think this is staged. Putting myself in her shoes: If I had come out of the bathroom and seen the beginning of the mess and realized what had happened, I'd immediately grab my phone to record it...because I would want to post it on FB, etc., for others to see.

To me, it seems pretty clear that she didn't really have any idea of just HOW bad it was until she went fully into the living room, and the shock in her voice seems pretty genuine to me.

And when the mess is THAT big, the shock renders you almost numb, hence the lack of yelling. I've been there. As the enormity of what it's going to take to clean it up sets in, the more you look, the more shell-shocked you get.

The kids' air of innocence is pretty normal. They probably didn't even think twice about it not being ok, because it's probably never happened before and so they haven't gotten in trouble for it before. My son has, in the past, proudly shown me the results of his destruction, and then the pride and joy slowly drains out of his face when he realizes that I'm upset about what he did.

Also: if it were staged, the kids would be constantly looking to mommy throughout the video, double-checking that they're "doing it right." In addition, it would be almost impossible to get the 1-year-old to act the way he's acting. His innocent thrills in tossing the flour around are not feigned.

And a three-year-old is perfectly capable of reaching those higher areas. The flour looks like it had been thrown.

So, yeah...I don't think it's staged at all.
Posted by DameKitten on November 22, 2011 at 2:39 PM · Report this
NotSean 34
The kids are CGI.
Posted by NotSean on November 22, 2011 at 2:53 PM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 35
for all those that doubt this fake video. Do you realize how much "david goes to the dentist" viral video is worth?

I will give you a hint, start around $150K
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on November 22, 2011 at 2:58 PM · Report this
Stabs 36
Anything could potentially staged, but I really don't see it. Anyone who has ever done anything with flour knows the height and distance it can get from simply coughing near it or slapping a spoon onto it. With two kids throwing it around, and the way they were flinging the bag it wouldn't surprise me if it got onto the top of a ceiling fan.

And the mom's quiet shock was a perfectly natural reaction. I have a temper and used to be somewhat of a yeller, but this is one of those situations where you're just at a loss for words or energy, I could just feel all the energy draining out of her thinking about how long it would take to clean it up.

I did the same thing at probably 2 or 3 with a big bowl of chocolate pudding in the kitchen. My mom just sat on the floor and silently cried. Totally believable imo.
Posted by Stabs on November 22, 2011 at 3:08 PM · Report this
Fnarf 37
The worst thing I ever did as a kid was iron the carpet, leaving a big ol' iron-shaped scorch mark in the beige carpet right in front of the fireplace, the day before my parent's big party. Oops. Oh, and I melted an entire jumbo box of crayons in the deep fat fryer, and burned my favorite stuffed animal by putting it in the oven "for an airplane ride like daddy" right before my mom preheated for cookies. And, let's see, I completely dismantled all the bathtub fixtures and had started on the plumbing, with just my fingers (and probably teeth). And....

I always told my mom no jury would have convicted her....
Posted by Fnarf on November 22, 2011 at 3:09 PM · Report this
@35 If you can document that, and explain how other people have marketed their videos, you have the basis of a best-selling how-to manual.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on November 22, 2011 at 3:17 PM · Report this
DameKitten 39
Cheezus, womb shrunk in horror reading that, and I'm already sterilized!
Posted by DameKitten on November 22, 2011 at 3:21 PM · Report this
venomlash 40
@37: Damn, and I thought that I was a rambunctious youth for doing things like ripping the tray off of a cassette deck...
Posted by venomlash on November 22, 2011 at 3:25 PM · Report this
Wow, that is crying out for some parenting skills. I really hope she didn't clean it up. I know she probably did, and that's why kids simply have no concept of responsibility, but she really needed to discipline them and make them clean up every last speck of flour from the entire house. Give them each a dustpan and a brush, and get started, and don't stop till they're done. Believe me, I know the indelible mark that will make on them, way more than spanking or time-out ever will; when I was 5, I took a box of crayons and went up and down the outside stucco wall of our house. My mom sent me out with a bucket of water, soap, and a pile of rags to clean it off. It took me minutes to create, and hours to fix. These kids need to be taught the same lesson.
Posted by discipline on November 22, 2011 at 5:55 PM · Report this
Stabs 42
I dunno 41, the oldest one looked like he was maybe 3. Too small to operate a vacuum effectively, and I wonder if he could even use a hand broom and dustpan with enough skill to do more than just push the stuff around. Anyone with a 3 year old want to weigh in?
The kids definitely have to be made to understand that what they did was wrong, but at that age they're not being purposefully destructive or "bad", they're just trying to play. I wouldn't be too hard on them.
Posted by Stabs on November 22, 2011 at 6:11 PM · Report this
tabathalphabet 43
"oh my gosh. oh my gosh. oh my gosh. oh my gosh."
Posted by tabathalphabet on November 22, 2011 at 6:18 PM · Report this
Posted by Badger on November 22, 2011 at 6:49 PM · Report this
Allyn 45
@41,42 - definitely too young to clean effectively, old enough to "help". What I have done (like my mother before me), is to hand the dustpan and broom to the three-year-old. But keep in mind, that's as much of a game as spreading it around is and the child will lose interest in two minutes. And then you've lost the three-year-old to the next activity. You could try to keep the kid on-task and that will add another two minutes, but after that, you're on your own.
Posted by Allyn on November 22, 2011 at 7:14 PM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 46
@38 it was all over the news, on many websites. Youtube gives you a cut of their advertising profit if you have enough views
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on November 28, 2011 at 5:17 PM · Report this

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