Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, November 22, 2011
Hump HUMP! 7 Winners!
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 7:22 PM
HUMP! by the numbers: two cities, 23 films, 29 packed screenings, 12,000 happy, horny audience members, and 12,000 ballots to sort and count. The Pacific Northwest’s biggest, best, and only amateur porn festival has come and gone. Ask anyone who was lucky enough to get a ticket: HUMP! is a truly magical event, a joyful celebration of sexual diversity. But HUMP! couldn’t happen without the performers and directors who make the films! And so, without further ado, it is our pleasure to announce this winners of this year's HUMP! Awards.
BEST HUMOR
Runner-Up ($500 prize): "Go Fuck Yourself"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Mythical Proportions"
BEST KINK
Runner-Up ($500 prize): "Don’t Call Me Missy"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Knife"
BEST SEX
Runner-Up ($500 prize): "The One Where the Girl is Pushed Against the Door"
First Place ($1000 prize): "Music for 2 Humans"
And...
BEST IN SHOW
The coveted Palme d'HUMP!—and the $4000 Grand Prize—goes to...
"Teenage Dream"
Congratulations to everyone who participated in HUMP! 2011. You're all winners in our book. We hope you had as much fun making your entries as we had watching them. And if you think you can do better... start working now on your five-minute flick for HUMP! 2012. Details coming this Spring!
3
Aye, TD was the clear winner. So good! And hopeful.
I really thought Don't Call Me Missy would take best Kink, it was real! The other two were staged. Knife *did* get the best audience reaction though, obvious high squick factor.
Congrats to all!
I really thought Don't Call Me Missy would take best Kink, it was real! The other two were staged. Knife *did* get the best audience reaction though, obvious high squick factor.
Congrats to all!
5
I'm just pleased not to have to look at that woman's crotch in the ads every time I open slog. Just sayin'.
8
@5 I'm in total agreement. That was soooo NSFW, and I had to scroll the slog so carefully. I don't know what to suggest for the future, and I will surely attend some day, but I'd sure love not to have to get so confronted with women's orifices so frequently when I'm mostly interested in Seattle politics. I know, it's an apt ad. I'm just sayin'.
9
I'm wondering if you intentionally know the full irony behind using the spoof of the Palme d'Or.
In French, the H at the beginning of a word is silent, so that sounds exactly like....
Palm Dump.
In French, the H at the beginning of a word is silent, so that sounds exactly like....
Palm Dump.
10
I boycotted Hump Day because the judges neglected the poignant yet touching "Russian Nurse Sex Treatment".
Hailed as the best Russo-Realist example of Russian Nursing pornography, it makes a mockery of everything else in the genre.
Well, here it is...in its entirety!
http://perfectgirls.net/120891/Russian_n…
Hailed as the best Russo-Realist example of Russian Nursing pornography, it makes a mockery of everything else in the genre.
Well, here it is...in its entirety!
http://perfectgirls.net/120891/Russian_n…
11
Kudos to each and everyone of the ballsy, sex+ beautiful horndogs that submitted films. YOU RULE. So hard. And think now, about HUMP 2012!!!
12
So... wish in one hand, et cetera, @9? That would be sadly relevant to my desire to see the winning films.
13
@12 - Go to the screenings!! The beauty of HUMP! is seeing the films in a real theater. This isn't X-Tube... No internet-solo viewings allowed
14
@10 - Enter next year! There weren't *any* Russo-Realist films submitted. Maybe YOU should make one?
15
I totally wish I could remember which films were which... I lost my pencil during knife I got so squirmy. Glad it won, though.
16
Okay, not to disparage anyone, but I'm slightly disappointed in the Best Sex category. I really liked "Night of the Giving Head" and "Killscreen" for it, they were the leading contenders in a sadly short list this year of films that got me hot in the pants. Sure, my preference is hetero, but I've also voted for gay films in past years, as I try to vote for what feels like great actual porn, something I might actually want to masturbate to. And in both "Head" and "Killscreen", you could really see the actors enjoying the fuck out of themselves.
And @3 - I voted "Missy" for Best Kink as well. They were clearly having a great time, and the power play dynamic and outright physicality were much more interesting to me than the tense tease "Knife" ended up being.
But above all, I've gotta give much respect to the writing this year. On top of the delightful homage to Heinlein that was "Go Fuck Yourself" and the uproariously hilarious "Mythical Proportions", there were several standout films that carried a solid story with a beginning, middle and end.
Here's hoping next year I finally manage to put together the classic three act masterpiece I've been dying to make. So let's see, that's oral, vaginal and anal, right?
And @3 - I voted "Missy" for Best Kink as well. They were clearly having a great time, and the power play dynamic and outright physicality were much more interesting to me than the tense tease "Knife" ended up being.
But above all, I've gotta give much respect to the writing this year. On top of the delightful homage to Heinlein that was "Go Fuck Yourself" and the uproariously hilarious "Mythical Proportions", there were several standout films that carried a solid story with a beginning, middle and end.
Here's hoping next year I finally manage to put together the classic three act masterpiece I've been dying to make. So let's see, that's oral, vaginal and anal, right?
17
Some of us don't have the opportunity to attend HUMP!. Please consider finding a way to make all the entries available online in the future.
Perhaps you could put up a paywall for the screenings and then allow those who pay to vote as well. I'd be glad to pay a reasonable amount.
Perhaps you could put up a paywall for the screenings and then allow those who pay to vote as well. I'd be glad to pay a reasonable amount.
19
@17: that's the point, that you can be a porn star for a weekend, not the rest of your life. If they were offered online for any reason, they would be duplicated and spread around to all sorts of places that the filmmakers and actors never intended. Think of it as Zen porn. They destroy the disc after the last screening. You'll just have to find a way to come to Seattle or Portland next year.
20
@17,19 BUT! Some entries (usually ones with no nudity, and/or animated films) do end up online. If you search for them by name on Youtube, you can usually find some- Like one of my favorites from a few years back, Le Petite Mort.
21
12000 viewers of Hump, myself included, X $23USD = $276,000 not including the alcohol sales. Dan and Co, have yourself a nice money maker. I'm sure renting out the theater space isn't cheap but you still have a sizable chunk of cash left over.
22
Hurray! I fully agree!
Re: apres moi post...
Yes, and I wish some of that cash could go to developing a space for all HUMP! entries who want to go public. It'd be great to not have to hunt for them all over Youtube.
Looking forward to next year's crop. xo
Re: apres moi post...
Yes, and I wish some of that cash could go to developing a space for all HUMP! entries who want to go public. It'd be great to not have to hunt for them all over Youtube.
Looking forward to next year's crop. xo
23
@21
Now wait just a second here... You're telling me this wasn't a charity event?!?!?! I'm shocked, SHOCKED!
Now wait just a second here... You're telling me this wasn't a charity event?!?!?! I'm shocked, SHOCKED!
25
Please, please, please take HUMP on the road to the Castro Theatre in San Francisco. It will sell out. We're a very pro-sex city.
29
I don't have a clear recollection of "Music for Two Humans", but I loved "Go Fuck Yourself," and found "Night of the Giving Head" surprisingly hot.
I wish they had cheap little programs at these things. I kept my ballot and didn't vote, just so I could have it as a souvenir to remember each of the films, since they're not profiled anywhere on Slog.
Also, I want a category for "Best Technical Achievement in Porn." I would have given it to "The Miller's Daughter" this year, I think.
I wish they had cheap little programs at these things. I kept my ballot and didn't vote, just so I could have it as a souvenir to remember each of the films, since they're not profiled anywhere on Slog.
Also, I want a category for "Best Technical Achievement in Porn." I would have given it to "The Miller's Daughter" this year, I think.
31
The Miller's Daughter was incredible. It was done very beautifully and definitely deserves it's own award. It basically was the adult version of story's children's story.
32
@30 I have yet to see anything that tops the infamous anal hooks. Burning a smiley face into the head of a man's cock with a cigarillo comes in a close second.
34
.
.
.
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So, where can I see "Teenage Dream"?
Otherwise what is the point of even telling people about this??
.
.
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So, where can I see "Teenage Dream"?
Otherwise what is the point of even telling people about this??
35
Teenage Dream People, we need to see your film again! What if we all pitch in for rights to the song??? Only 22,000 of us would need to contribute and then you could keep the prize money. xxxooo
36
totally rigged contest. I'd really like to see if the makers of Teenage Dream REALLY got the rights to use that song?? i don't think so. scam.
37
I've scoured the interwebs for Teenage Dream...please please please post it! Put little censors over the tackle. Whatever you have to do - just post it! PUHLEEZE
38
Congrats to the winners but I am disappointed Krutch didn't win. So many levels of meaning. I can't stop thinking about it. Moved me. Clever and thoughtful. So appreciated seeing it.
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