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News & ArtsMonday, November 14, 2011
Tech Google's Dream Lab Will Make Shut-Ins of Us All
Posted by Cienna Madrid on Mon, Nov 14, 2011 at 10:24 AM
Driverless cars manufactured in the US, robots that commute to work for you... these are a some of the inventions secret Google scientists are working on.
Via the NY Times:
In a top-secret lab in an undisclosed Bay Area location where robots run free, the future is being imagined.It’s a place where your refrigerator could be connected to the Internet, so it could order groceries when they ran low. Your dinner plate could post to a social network what you’re eating. Your robot could go to the office while you stay home in your pajamas. And you could, perhaps, take an elevator to outer space.
These fantasies sound dreamy—especially on a Monday morning. They also seem impossibly lonely.
2
The type of person this fantasy would appeal to likely doesn't know how to cook so I don't see how the refrigerator thing is very useful. Maybe the robot will call your favorite take-out place?
3
This sounds great - right up until the first piece of malware attacks it. I figure that should take about a week.
4
I notice that I and all my friends in their twenties and thirties have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Since the only thing we all share apart from melancholy is an affection for online life, I think it's that.
6
Even Microsoft gave up on the idea of making your fridge "smart." When I discover I'm out of milk, I fucking walk in the rain to the grocery store. I'm no worse for it. And I don't want Amazon or Google or anyone else to know when I'm out of milk. I don't even want them knowing that I drink milk, or beer, or battery acid.
7
Speaking as an introvert who has worked from home in the past, this sounds like hell.
I'd never need to leave the house, and being completely unable to recognize my very real need for socialization, I would slowly slide into madness.
I'd never need to leave the house, and being completely unable to recognize my very real need for socialization, I would slowly slide into madness.
8
I'm with @5... I also immediately had a vision of my refrigerator turning against me, HAL-style. NOOOOOOO!
9
The fridge thing is going to be hugely popular with about twelve people. No one else gives a shit. And the first time someone has to "wait a minute" to get into their fridge because it has to boot up after the power went out, even those twelve dipshits with too much money will scream.
The plate broadcasting to Facebook? Fuck you. How is the plate going to recognize roast chicken or sauted mushrooms or whatever? It'll work off barcodes. I don't eat food with barcodes. Who is going to design the plate? I also don't eat off of plates designed by software engineers.
I'll bet these asswipes in the lab earn five times as much money as I do, too.
The plate broadcasting to Facebook? Fuck you. How is the plate going to recognize roast chicken or sauted mushrooms or whatever? It'll work off barcodes. I don't eat food with barcodes. Who is going to design the plate? I also don't eat off of plates designed by software engineers.
I'll bet these asswipes in the lab earn five times as much money as I do, too.
10
I'd like to chime in on the "don't fucking hook my fridge to the internet" front. They've been trotting this one out since the late nineties at least. It was clearly a bad idea then, and it's even more obviously stupid now in the age of malware.
Stuxnet anybody?
DO NOT PUT EVERY DAMN THING ON THE INTERNET.
Stuxnet anybody?
DO NOT PUT EVERY DAMN THING ON THE INTERNET.
11
If my fridge is on the internet, could I get Slog in my fridge? When I was running low on the weekend, would it order me some more?
12
Didn't Microsoft show this exact fridge idea in the late 90's? I have a vague memory of an early push for the Xbox to be just one component of their Windows (CE, probably) home and them going on about some fridge that recognizes when you're low on Bagel Bites and Starbucks beans or whatthefuckever someone that would enjoy this stocks in theirs. Now with Google in the game, this certainly doesn't help the sad state of home appliance form factor.
Did I mention that refrigerator shopping sucks?
Did I mention that refrigerator shopping sucks?
14
One of the best things about not working in IT anymore is not having to be around people who absolutely hate being human. Only someone who loathes their humanity would even be interested in any of this stuff, never mind find it appealing...
16
I agree with all-of-the-above. My ROBOT should stay home to clean and cook, and walk the dog. And Robot (that's my robot's name) should not report my tastes or personal habits to anyone, least of all a social network (geez!). I'll be the one going to work to collaborate and goof-off with my co-workers, since I'm the human being.
But, an elevator into space sounds cool, yes?. Plus it'd be way social and un-lonely, since you'd spend weeks in a box with the same 10 people.
But, an elevator into space sounds cool, yes?. Plus it'd be way social and un-lonely, since you'd spend weeks in a box with the same 10 people.
17
I'm with the negation crowd too. Useless tools, ultimately. And they will be rendered even more inane as climate change makes things like "food" more scarce and expensive.
Go talk to Australia, I'm sure no one there has any interest in "Internet-Refridgerators" or sentient dinner plates... they'd just like to have some normal weather for awhile.
An yeh, these people are definitely making 3-5 times more than Fnarf makes. *sigh*
Go talk to Australia, I'm sure no one there has any interest in "Internet-Refridgerators" or sentient dinner plates... they'd just like to have some normal weather for awhile.
An yeh, these people are definitely making 3-5 times more than Fnarf makes. *sigh*
18
I'll take the beer-fetching robot. Everything else can go into the bad-idea heap, with the internet plates on the bottom.
19
Oh my fucking god how many billion times have I heard the fridge-that-buys-shit-for-you prediction now? If this is the quality of the "new ideas" that they're coming up with at this lab, then Google's gone way off the rails. Not only is it never going to happen, it's a cosmically stupid idea, because the one thing we know about people is that they like buying shit. Any idea which reduces people's capacity to be consumers is never going to be a hit. Just fuck off, dumbass inventor types and let me never hear about the fridge that runs my diet ever again.
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