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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Get Your Cheese Away From Me

Posted by on Thu, Nov 10, 2011 at 4:27 PM

In 1999, I worked for a record store in Chicago. The dot-com bubble enveloped the store in the form of an online music retailer named Djangos.com that started in Portland and bought up stores in Chicago, Los Angeles and the Cellophane Square stores here in Seattle. Shortly after my store was taken over, all of the employees were ordered to read the book Who Moved My Cheese? to prepare for our transition into the new economy of selling $2 Everclear CDs online. The whole thing fell apart two years later.

I just wanted to take this time to let you know, if a superior at your place of employment tells you to read this book, run for your life.

 

Comments (27) RSS

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Dougsf 1
COMIC SANS!!!
Posted by Dougsf on November 10, 2011 at 4:31 PM
Estey 2
This book dismantles that horrible screed in many delicious ways:

http://www.barbaraehrenreich.com/brights…
Posted by Estey on November 10, 2011 at 4:37 PM
3
same thing happened to me at KUBE/KJR in th early 2000s. loafer-wearing republican asshat took over as boss when clear channel enslaved us, gave us all this, um, "book" for xmess, totes out of a job 3 months later. fuck that cheese! FUCK IT!
Posted by Adrian Ryan on November 10, 2011 at 4:38 PM
4
Did you at least find out what color your parachute is?
Posted by Avtar on November 10, 2011 at 4:38 PM
Matt from Denver 5
Just wholesale ordering people to read any book is a bad sign. It means that they couldn't be bothered to learn how to manage employees.

At Wamu, at that time, at least, they held courses in change (typically a sign that your department was slated for the ax). They went to a little effort...
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 10, 2011 at 4:42 PM
6
where'd the cheese go?
Posted by taint on November 10, 2011 at 4:50 PM
7
My giant brain is always causing me to be unable to recognize patterns. Damn you intellect!
Posted by Spike1382 on November 10, 2011 at 4:53 PM
Zebes 8
Are these neatly packaged corporate inspiration guides ever not bullshit? My first job was with the Spokane County Library District, and one year they decided to get big on the FISH program, inspired, in a roundabout fashion, by the fish throwing dudes in the Pike Place Market. You'd think it'd be great, you know, trying to adopt a workplace culture themed around throwing fish at people, but it practice it was dull and irrelevant.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on November 10, 2011 at 4:54 PM
AmyC 9
the mother of a guy i dated for a few years gave me a copy of the children's picture book edition of "who moved my cheese?" as a consolation prize when he dumped my ass at a family reunion.
Posted by AmyC on November 10, 2011 at 5:10 PM
Will in Seattle 10
@5 is correct. Whenever you get books like that, it usually means bigger bonus payments for the execs and RIF for the 99 percent.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on November 10, 2011 at 5:24 PM
TVDinner 11
@2: Oh, thank god someone finally wrote that book!
Posted by TVDinner http:// on November 10, 2011 at 5:31 PM
12
Wait, this whole thing is an allegory about the Tea Party, right?
Posted by midwaypete on November 10, 2011 at 5:38 PM
rob! 13
Tim Cook, the Apple CEO?!

*comes in pants*
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on November 10, 2011 at 5:51 PM
Urgutha Forka 14
Why don't they just hand out Soma and cut out the middle man?
Posted by Urgutha Forka on November 10, 2011 at 5:53 PM
15
And people have even less love for the sequel, "Who Moved My Bowels?"
Posted by Loonesta on November 10, 2011 at 6:52 PM
venomlash 16
So in other words, you should never invest in any plan you make and always be looking to move on to new schemes. You should be reactionary rather than analytical and plan for failure.
Posted by venomlash on November 10, 2011 at 6:57 PM
TreGibbs 17
Looks like Haw ignored his friend Hem after he found the motherload of cheese. Haw is a selfish, corporate-ass kissing prick.
Posted by TreGibbs on November 10, 2011 at 7:29 PM
Foghorn Leghorn 18
WOW. This is everything I find nauseating and villainous about corporate culture. Think I'm going to be ill.

And yet now I find myself in charge of a company. Well the only motivational technique I'm going to use is 'Free Beer'.

Well that, and absolutely no "Who Moved My Cheese?".
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on November 10, 2011 at 8:23 PM
sirkowski 19
And the moral is: mice don't ask questions.
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on November 10, 2011 at 8:24 PM
Max Solomon 20
my boss handed this book out back in 2000. i moved my cheese the F out of there.
Posted by Max Solomon on November 10, 2011 at 8:37 PM
21
this book is not the antichrist in text format. But yes, if encouraged to read it by your work sups, update the fuck out of your resume. Unless you work for a cheese factory in Wisconsin, in which case some may have misplaced said cheese.

The other classic you're fucked signal (at work) is when you're asked to provide a description of exactly what it is you do. This means one of 2 things: they've finally caught on to the fact that you don't actually do anything, or they plan to find someone else to do it. And after that, it's government cheese for you.
Posted by catballou on November 10, 2011 at 9:21 PM
ScrawnyKayaker 22
13 minutes? Are you fucking kidding me?

tl;dw
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 10, 2011 at 9:41 PM
Knat 23
Jesus. I could only take about 2 minutes of this tripe. First the allegory is stillborn, then they murder every single metaphor they create.
Posted by Knat on November 10, 2011 at 9:50 PM
24
Yes, when your boss informs you that you should try to think about your job as if you were a lab rat running around a maze in search of food while scientists observe you and write the results down on a clipboard, you should take that as a bad sign.

In the pantheon of hellish corporate motivational texts, "Who moved My Cheese" did at last have the benefit of wearing its contempt for employees on its sleeve.
Posted by Proteus on November 10, 2011 at 10:10 PM
25
I'm high and what?
Posted by matt! on November 10, 2011 at 10:43 PM
Gospodean 26
Cheeses Keerist! I'd heard of that "cheese" metaphor for years without actually reading/seeing about it. Now I feel nauseous. Reason One to be a teacher: ya don't have to work in a cubicle, knocking yerself out to make someone else rich.
Posted by Gospodean on November 11, 2011 at 12:25 AM
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 27
@6- Into the vast cheese lockers of the 1%. They dive into it and swim around like Scrooge McDuck.

@26- Wait until the libertarians get done with the educations system: online for profit education for all! Cubicles for teachers!
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings http://www.reddit.com/r/spaceclop on November 11, 2011 at 11:00 AM

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