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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Lunchtime Quickie: Kids! What'll They Think of Next?!?

Posted by on Wed, Nov 9, 2011 at 12:13 PM

"And inserting them... THERE."

 

Comments (25) RSS

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stinkbug 1
And you wonder why people liked the world of The Family Circus.
Posted by stinkbug on November 9, 2011 at 12:16 PM
carriemcc 2
Good lord. Just drink the vodka!
Posted by carriemcc on November 9, 2011 at 12:22 PM
3
Thanks, that one episode of 30 Rock!
Posted by Ben on November 9, 2011 at 12:31 PM
Simone 4
I can easily visualize the tampon vodka fun, but the beer in the what, where, huh?
Posted by Simone on November 9, 2011 at 12:35 PM
rob! 5
Given that high alcohol consumption is implicated in oral and esophageal cancers, looks like this fad is arriving just in time to restore the oncology business that will be lost to the HPV vaccine.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on November 9, 2011 at 12:46 PM
Posted by PortervilleNerd on November 9, 2011 at 12:47 PM
7
I'm delighted that when I grabbed my headphones out of my back pack to watch this a tampon fell out.
Posted by olive on November 9, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Banna 8
I like that their "example" vodka bottle on the news set is 1/4 empty.
Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on November 9, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Fnarf 9
@26, thank you. This is total bullshit. Though now that the media has suggested it, some girls will surely try it.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on November 9, 2011 at 12:54 PM
Sargon Bighorn 10
The solution is easy easy easy. Make those nasty tampons illegal. Problem Solved.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on November 9, 2011 at 12:58 PM
11
Guys are doing it too apparently but sticking them in the butt
Posted by Democrat1234 on November 9, 2011 at 1:02 PM
12
You know how straight vodka burns going down your throat?

You know what an applicator free tampon feels like going up your vagina?

(People without vaginas: Go shove a cloth covered finger up your ass sans lube for a similar experience. I'll wait.)

Yeah, maybe somebody has tried this. Once. I can't fathom it inspiring a repeat performance.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on November 9, 2011 at 1:03 PM
13
I remember being warned about this in high school....They just recirculate this every few years to get everyone all in a tizzy about the dangerous ways of our youth. Trust me, the youth are doing plenty of risky and stupid things, we don't need to make them up.
Posted by greener on November 9, 2011 at 1:10 PM
14
Additionally: Considering that tampons swell when soaked in fluid, how would that work? Shoving a big floppy, wet piece of cotton in an orifice? Seriously?

This whole thing was thought up by some idiotic man who only has a vague idea that ladies put absorbent things in their cooches.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on November 9, 2011 at 1:12 PM
15
@8: Man, you're like a super-pessimist.
Posted by Ben on November 9, 2011 at 1:44 PM
16
This is definitely nothing new -- I heard about this when I was in high school, which was like 9,000 years ago (give or take). No idea if it's true or not -- I'm a substance abuse librarian and I haven't seen actual research on it, but that doesn't mean nobody's ever tried it. Thing is, you can't rule it out based on the fact it would be painful and burn -- kids are also pouring vodka right into their EYES these days, and that I have seen research on. That can't not sting, right?

Somebody go try both, compare/contrast, report back to Slog.
Posted by Meg on November 9, 2011 at 1:51 PM
icouldliveinhope 17
If they were "telling it like it is" they would say "vagina" or "rectum."

Also, YEAST INFECTION MUCH?
Posted by icouldliveinhope on November 9, 2011 at 1:52 PM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 18

"Body shots" could get ever more interesting. Slice of lemon to cut the fishy taste...
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on November 9, 2011 at 1:55 PM
ingopixel 19
As Tabloid subject Joyce McKinney said of trying to have sex with an unwilling man in response to rape allegations, that's like "puttin' a marshmallow in a parking meter."

How on earth would i get an expanded, boozy tampon in my cooch?
Posted by ingopixel on November 9, 2011 at 1:58 PM
20
Fun factoid: If you do a Bing image search for bloated tampon, the first hit is Robert Pattinson.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on November 9, 2011 at 2:05 PM
Vince 21
@9 Liz Lemon on "30 Rock" suggested this months ago. And who is 26?
Posted by Vince on November 9, 2011 at 2:37 PM
22
@14 It's worse than you think.

This idea was used in the plot of an episode of CSI. And since I like CSI so much, it was an episode written by the writers of TWO AND A HALF MEN.
Posted by AgentofChaos on November 9, 2011 at 4:06 PM
23
True fact, from some Mesoamerican Archaeology course I took: Some of the illustrations on Mayan pottery from the pre-Columbian period show folks using enema bottles to get stoned on various herbal brews.

As far as kids getting stoned goes, dammit, just legalize pot already, before the idiots hurt themselves getting high the hard way.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on November 9, 2011 at 4:15 PM
Prairie Dog 24
I've read that this was done in Scandanavian countries for years. Apparently drinks are pretty expensive at highly desirable bars, as are the cover charges. Therefore, girls used this method to pre-game so they could go out to the hottest spots without breaking thier budgets. Don't know if this is true, nor even if it is possible (I lack a vagina to try it out on), but I've read it from several online sources.
Posted by Prairie Dog on November 9, 2011 at 5:32 PM
25
I just want to make sure I understand the new code. THERE means vagina, ELSEWHERE means rectum. Right?

This concept is absolutely not new. And it isn't a floppy wad of wet cotton, the tampon isn't removed from the applicator prior to insertion. Which has got to burn like a son of a bitch regardless of which hole is selected. but that has to be a lot less messy than the beer enema.

I remember the good old days, when teenagers were so awkwardly repressed about their bodies that they pretended that no one had an asshole, much less found creative ways to use it.
Posted by catballou on November 9, 2011 at 8:11 PM

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