My inbox is littered this morning with press releases announcing candidacies for statewide elected offices nobody cares about.

First there was the missive from state Rep. Zack Hudgins (D-11) declaring his run for Secretary of State, an office left open by the retirement of Republican incumbent Sam Reed. “I believe I bring the management experience and commitment to democracy needed to ensure the office of Secretary of State meets the highest standards,” Hudgins said, as if anybody cares. A couple hours later, state Sen. Craig Pridemore (D-I'm-too-lazy-to-look-it-up) announced his campaign for the office of State Auditor being vacated by Republican Brian Sonntag. Pridemore writes: "I’ll bring hands-on auditing experience, an eye for detail, and my prized toy dog taxidermy collection to the office." (Or something. I may have erroneously transcribed that last part.)

And just as I started writing this post an email came in from state Rep. Helen Butler-Rodgers-Cromartie (R-Somewhere East), announcing her run for State Superintendent of Inland Fisheries, a post that has remained unfilled since the tragic death of longtime superintendent Anders Ljunggren in a freak fishing accident. *

Why are three accomplished legislators like Hudgins, Pridemore, and Butler-Rodgers-Cromartie giving up their seats to run for statewide offices most voters don't know exist, let alone give a shit about? Because their current jobs pay like crap and are godawfulfucking boring. I suppose they might offer other reasons if I bothered to call them up and ask, but that would require me caring.

As the election nears, I'll try to work up the strength to feign interest, since I guess that's my job, but for now I think I'll just go get an early lunch.

[ * NOTE: Neither the late Mr. Ljunggren, Rep. Butler-Rodgers-Cromartie, or the office of the Superintendent of Inland Fisheries actually exist, but if they did I probably wouldn't care any more or less about them than most of the rest of our statewide elected offices.]