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Monday, October 31, 2011

Political Suicide / 2012 In All Fairness, Texans Are Required to Be Drunk 45 Percent of the Time

Posted by David Schmader on Mon, Oct 31, 2011 at 9:02 AM

So maybe Rick Perry was just trying to meet his quota Friday night in New Hampshire.

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uhm, repeat?

Posted by jns on October 31, 2011 at 9:07 AM

SHIT. Drunk Perry acts far too much like Drunk Evilvolus for my taste.

Posted by evilvolus on October 31, 2011 at 9:08 AM

That's the first time I actually enjoyed listening to him talk.

Posted by tacomagirl on October 31, 2011 at 9:11 AM

@2 - Drunk Rick Perry is not nearly as shouty as Drunk Evilvolus. Still, I wouldn't let him near anything sharp, either.

Posted by MacCrocodile

on October 31, 2011 at 9:21 AM

We know he doesn't have a conscience so he's not drinking to forget. See Todd Willingham for that.

Posted by Vince on October 31, 2011 at 9:28 AM

His inane pitch for money is still better than all stand-up comedy.

Posted by cosby

on October 31, 2011 at 9:32 AM

Alright, Fnarf. This is better proof that this clown isn't ready for prime time.

Posted by Matt from Denver on October 31, 2011 at 9:36 AM

Comedy gold!

Posted by sall on October 31, 2011 at 9:48 AM

In the UK they have very strict libel rules so newspapers rarely accuse someone of being drunk, instead they call them "tired and emotional". I just love that phrase, and perhaps he is just tired and emotional.

Posted by ohthetrees on October 31, 2011 at 10:00 AM

Half a trillion! That is over $4,300 per household if you assume 115,000,000 households in the US.

Posted by Lorenwb on October 31, 2011 at 11:29 AM

There are many stereotypes about Texans, but "drunk" is actually, surprisingly, not one of them. What the fuck are you even talking about, Schmader?

Posted by balderdash

on October 31, 2011 at 12:54 PM

The down fall of Jet Rink is what he's talk'n about, @ 11. this guy looks more fucked than that.

Posted by sall on October 31, 2011 at 2:13 PM

@11 I believe Texas is the home of the drive-through liquor store, and doesn't have any laws against driving with an open container of alcohol. Drunken Texans is a stereotype I run across pretty frequently.
I mean, not as much as drunken Wisconsinites, but still pretty frequent.

Posted by stirwise on October 31, 2011 at 8:14 PM

@stirwise you are thinking of Louisiana, I think. Texas actually has pretty restrictive alcohol laws (blue laws, as they are called), put in place as part of the prohibition movement and never repealed due to pressure from the restaurant/bar industry. For the sake of correctness only, it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, drunk Rick Perry! hahaha!

Posted by ohnoezmahbeeeeer on October 31, 2011 at 10:14 PM

I kept thinking of Michael Scott (Steve Carell) from "The Office".

Posted by lookitsaustin on November 1, 2011 at 7:03 AM