Slog
News & ArtsFriday, October 28, 2011
Sex People Who Live In Massachusetts Are Big Fucking Sex Crazed Slut Monsters and Their Creepy Erections, Slutty Vaginas, Freaky Accents, and Parked Cars Are Totally Grossing Out the Good People of Sanford, Maine
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Oct 28, 2011 at 9:15 AM
“The officers were appalled at the number and variety of sexual acts being performed—and one of the officers has worked vice crimes—right out in the open where everybody was sitting,” Connolly said.... The sex parties, publicized on a swingers’ group website, apparently started in July and were scheduled to run through December. Couples and single men paid $40 admission at the door; single women got in free. Many of the vehicles in the parking lot Oct. 15 had Massachusetts license plates, Connolly said.
My goodness! Those opposite-sex-attracted perverts from Massachusetts were having opposite-sex sex right in front of, um, other opposite-sex-attracted adults who purchased club memberships and paid to get in and wanted to watch. But at least now the children of Sanford are safe from the sex parties they couldn't attend and the stuff they couldn't see and all the gross sex shit they didn't know was going on at the old Knights of Columbus hall until it was splashed all over the front pages of the daily newspaper that's available for their perusal at the public library they rarely visit.
Good work, everybody!
3
I want to live in a world where being a vice cop or a being child molester are right about on the same level in terms of respectable occupations.
4
“After the first couple of events, we started getting reports of hanky-panky going on there,” Connolly said. “My objective from the beginning was to see if any criminal laws were being broken. People might not like what they’re doing, but if it’s a protected right under the First Amendment, you have to be very careful before you trample on someone’s rights.”
Huh, well apparently that went right out the window.
Huh, well apparently that went right out the window.
6
@4
Nah. He said it at the end.
He has to be very careful BEFORE trampling on someone's rights.
Gotta go through all the procedure first.
Nah. He said it at the end.
He has to be very careful BEFORE trampling on someone's rights.
Gotta go through all the procedure first.
7
"hanky-panky" -- that's adorable! They're gonna have an attack of the vapors when they see all the hanky-panky that takes place on the internet.
8
Considering the Stoddens got kicked out of the pumpkin patch for kissing and wearing short shorts...
But did anyone speak to their civil rights?
But did anyone speak to their civil rights?
9
As a resident of southern Maine, I'm just wondering how on earth I had never heard about this club before!
12
They were right to bust this vile place up. That sort of behavior is what the public parks and restrooms are for.
15
To those of you who insist that there's no such thing as wasted tax dollars, I introduce this as Exhibit A.
17
I can't believe they let in single men! That's just asking for trouble.
I wonder where the party will move to now? Maybe a Masonic Temple?
I wonder where the party will move to now? Maybe a Masonic Temple?
19
darn Jr if only you had a Mac you could go "≠"...
see?
≠.
cool, huy?
≠ ≠ ≠ ≠≠≠≠≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠
but you'd have to be cool to have a Mac and do cool stuff like "≠".....
see?
≠.
cool, huy?
≠ ≠ ≠ ≠≠≠≠≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠ ≠
but you'd have to be cool to have a Mac and do cool stuff like "≠".....
22
Aww, I'm such a proud Masshole right now!
But I'm definitely disappointed I didn't know this club existed. Then again, the T doesn't go to Maine.
I laughed at the "Freaky Accents" bit, though. Ever hear a down-east accent?! Now THAT is a weird one.
But I'm definitely disappointed I didn't know this club existed. Then again, the T doesn't go to Maine.
I laughed at the "Freaky Accents" bit, though. Ever hear a down-east accent?! Now THAT is a weird one.
24
And the payoff: “We’re hoping the owners of the building will ask the tenant to leave,” Connolly said. “Because it’s obviously not a healthy activity and it’s not what the people of Sanford want in their town.”
It sounds like it's what several Sanfordites want in their town. And where was the harm to anyone not in attendance? Oh yeah, there wasn't any.
It sounds like it's what several Sanfordites want in their town. And where was the harm to anyone not in attendance? Oh yeah, there wasn't any.
26
@16: Damn right we do. And most of us don't need to drive to Maine to stick it in a Masshole, dammit. We do it right here! Where's their hometown pride, dammit?
28
Ay, ay @16!
Love,
Somerville Ho
(I lived across from the hospital on the corner of Highland and Lowell for years and they never did replace the S-P-I-T-A-L)
Love,
Somerville Ho
(I lived across from the hospital on the corner of Highland and Lowell for years and they never did replace the S-P-I-T-A-L)
30
@3 Well, that would depend on how vice was defined, wouldn't it? I could totally support vice cops that went after rapists, religious nutjobs abusing children in their care, gay bashers & racists... but they just don't seem to...
31
Being originally from Maine, and dating someone from Massachusetts, I'm very glad that I moved to Seattle, where when he comes to visit, we can have opposite-sex sex without it being a scandal. Seriously though, the Portland Press Herald is the filthiest republican piece-of-shit newspaper I've ever encountered; not everyone in the area is really that concerned about sex happening in the general vicinity of a library...
32
@19:
i.amSorry();
if(you.getOS()!=OS.Macintosh && you.getOS()==OS.Windows){
you.setComputerKnowledge(getComputerKnowledge().push
_back(ComputerKnowledge.KnowledgeOfCoding));
you.setStatus("Not a hopeless dweeb.");
} else {
you.fuckOff("newfag");
cout<<"≠"<<endl;
}
i.amSorry();
if(you.getOS()!=OS.Macintosh && you.getOS()==OS.Windows){
you.setComputerKnowledge(getComputerKnowledge().push
_back(ComputerKnowledge.KnowledgeOfCoding));
you.setStatus("Not a hopeless dweeb.");
} else {
you.fuckOff("newfag");
cout<<"≠"<<endl;
}
34
Indeed, Dan, as you point out, the logics of the police in this situation is impeccable. A stellar case of doing the stupid thing.
This looks so much like the kind of thing Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart should talk about in their shows. I hope someone sends them the story.
This looks so much like the kind of thing Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart should talk about in their shows. I hope someone sends them the story.
35
The bigger problem here seems to be that it was a venue that served food and was open for non-sex parties during other times. I'm all for swinger parties and if this had been in a private residence or a venue that was only used for the parties I'd be against it being shut down. However since it was being held in a hall that could be rented by anyone and we have no idea how good their post-party cleaning is I'm pretty okay with it being shut down. Of course the local media is going to sensationalize it but most people here in Maine are more squicked by it being a venue that served food to the public at other times being used for a swinger party.
38
Hanky-panky reminds me of *Rumpole and the Judge's Elbow* and how poor, clueless Guthrie Feathersone didn't know what "something of the other" was.
40
At least that business will now stay in Massachusetts where it belongs. We need to do everything we can to keep our state economy strong! Thank you, Maine, for sending business our way.
41
Jeez! I went to my first BDSM club last month and it was hella deep undercover, here in Oklahoma. Too bad.
It only cost $10 and some snacks to get in.
It only cost $10 and some snacks to get in.
42
@35: "but most people here in Maine are more squicked by it being a venue that served food to the public at other times being used for a swinger party."
Uh, we are? First I've heard of it.
There was a follow-up article a day or two later quoting someone (sociology professor, perhaps? I don't remember) who commented that swinging and voyeurism aren't really all that far out there as fetishes go. But it sort of got missed in all the shouting by the morality police.
Uh, we are? First I've heard of it.
There was a follow-up article a day or two later quoting someone (sociology professor, perhaps? I don't remember) who commented that swinging and voyeurism aren't really all that far out there as fetishes go. But it sort of got missed in all the shouting by the morality police.
43
I think it is unfortunate that the cops decided to shut this place down, but I still think city governments should have the authority to decide where sexually oriented businesses can and can not operate. Strip clubs, adult bookstores, and gay sex clubs tend to attract unsavory characters who I wouldn't want in my neighborhood. This is less of a problem with sexually oriented businesses catering to women. A hetero swingers club has to stay classy in order to get women to come and play. In this case I think it would have been nice if the local authorities had pretended not to notice what was going on after hours at Great Beginnings Catering, but I can understand why the city government isn't willing to license any sexually oriented businesses.
44
@43, I dunno . . . I live in Oregon, and there's no limit on sexually oriented businesses here--no more than other types of business, I mean. I believe there's some limit on what strippers can do on stage, if in a place where they serve alcohol, but I think that's it. In terms of zoning, nada.
Part of Oregon's freedom of speech laws.
Part of Oregon's freedom of speech laws.
45
As a Sanford Maine native I must say its not really that close to the library....also the food there wasn't very good, now I know how they stayed in business.
46
I think I just figured something out about people I know who live in southern Maine and in Massachusetts. It would explain a lot, and it would be an awful coincidence if they hadn't been involved with this place. My head is spinning a little.
Small world.
Small world.
47
Danny do you think anonymous one night stand sex is responsible?
.
Its a relavent question.
.
Don't be a chickenshit coward pussy.....
.
Its a relavent question.
.
Don't be a chickenshit coward pussy.....
49
From the article: "Participants ... also could get $5 off the admission fee if they brought a gift for a home-bound senior citizen."
They're even donating to a worthwhile charitable cause. That's a pretty thoughtful sex club!
They're even donating to a worthwhile charitable cause. That's a pretty thoughtful sex club!
52
As a native of Vermont's curmudgeonly upside-down twin, I recognize this for what it is: standard anti-tourism bias. If you can't blame Massholes, then New Yorkers are the fallback.
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