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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Hetero Freaky Lohan

Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 5:03 PM

The word on the street is she got a mil to show some skin for Playboy.

Lindsay Lohan is taking it all off for Playboy.

The one-time child star reportedly scored a $1 million pay day to pose nude for the famed skin magazine, according to TMZ.

Though the "Freaky Friday" actress' rep could "neither confirm or deny" the report, her mother, Dina Lohan, confirmed that the star flashed her flesh for the cameras at a photo shoot last weekend.

"The kind you don't take home to mother."

Comments (53) RSS

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So that's why she missed her community service ...

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 25, 2011 at 5:13 PM

Well, this is a first.

Posted by maddogm13 on October 25, 2011 at 5:15 PM

I could be snide, but that's a lot more than I could make for taking off my clothes, so eh, good for her.

Posted by Zebes

on October 25, 2011 at 5:17 PM

Morgue janitor by day. Nude model by night. The screenplay is being developed as we speak...

Posted by Gern Blanston on October 25, 2011 at 5:20 PM

I hope a portion of the proceeds are going towards development of a time machine to go back and fetch pre-cokewhore Lindsay for the actual shoot.

Posted by jeffinfremont on October 25, 2011 at 5:21 PM

She still had nice, pillowly boobs when she did that Marilyn Monroe re-shoot a few years ago; and that was post-crackwhore phase.

I for one still look forward to seeing this, internet haters be damned she's still a very pretty girl.

Posted by Schmapdi on October 25, 2011 at 5:26 PM

Charles,
I saw a pic of her last week when she reported for community service. She looked a bit freakish with caked make-up and sunglasses. I hope she looks better in the lay out. Seriously, she has some issues.

Posted by lark on October 25, 2011 at 5:29 PM

She gives me the sads.

Posted by blip on October 25, 2011 at 5:33 PM

i agree w/ @6. she's still plenty hot.

Posted by legacy builder on October 25, 2011 at 5:34 PM

I never understood the hate that celebrity party girls (Lindsay, Paris, Kesha) seem to attract. I've got nothing but love for them.

Posted by seandr on October 25, 2011 at 5:34 PM

How come Melissa Joan Hart turned out so well...?

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on October 25, 2011 at 5:38 PM

@7 - No question on issues, but can you honestly say that you'd be looking your best when showing up at 5:30am for your court-mandated community service doing janitorial work at a morgue?

Besides, if anyone knows how to use an airbrush so heavy that the result is more painting than photo, it's the Playboy editorial staff.

Posted by evilvolus on October 25, 2011 at 5:40 PM

@ 10, in the case of Paris, at least, you gotta have some seriously shallow standards to like her. Lindsay Lohan at least is (or was) a good looking woman and talented actress (neither of which Paris Hilton was).

I neither know nor care to learn who "Kesha" is.

Posted by Matt from Denver on October 25, 2011 at 5:49 PM

@10 The thing that made me fall out of love with Paris Hilton was when she went on David Letterman and refused to joke about her stint in LA County Jail for DWI. She doesn't seem to realize that her function in society is to be the rich party girl fuck up who the rest of us make fun of.

Posted by Ken Mehlman on October 25, 2011 at 5:58 PM

@11 Witchcraft.

Love LiLo, loved Paris in Repo! The Genetic Opera. As in all things post-modern, the airbrush is the memory hole. Some pixels are more equal than other pixels. Naked bodies! What'll they think of next? Is there a chart somewhere of who has been paid how much previously, adjusted for inflation of course? Does LiLo slip in somewhere between Mariel Hemingway and Jane Fonda?

Posted by bedipped on October 25, 2011 at 6:15 PM

This is important news that Seattle needs to know about!

Posted by Kinison

on October 25, 2011 at 6:25 PM

I feel sad for her. Not that she's giving it up for the camera - that's all fine and a good payday. But she really does look pretty shot out for someone who is, what, 24 years old?

Posted by The_Shaved_Bear on October 25, 2011 at 7:24 PM

Whew! Just in time, I was running out of Tara Reid pictures to fap to. I've got a "mid-twenties but looks fifty" fetish.

Posted by Banna

on October 25, 2011 at 7:41 PM

So, are you over Amanda Knox, Charles? Is that what this is about?

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on October 25, 2011 at 7:43 PM

@13, @14:
In her day, Paris Hilton was the world's most preeminent party girl. People say she became famous for nothing, but that's bullshit. She became famous for partying. Really famous. Not too many others can claim that these days. Maybe Chloe Sevigney?

Anyway, picking on her acting/singing skills is like dismissing Michael Jordan because he was a shitty baseball player - it misses the point entirely.

I'd give anything to hang with Paris for a weekend in NYC back when she was 19.

Posted by seandr on October 25, 2011 at 7:47 PM

At least her breasts are real ...

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 25, 2011 at 7:56 PM

Oh, I didn't need to see Lindsay Lohan's labia...

I can only hope that this is a career move for the poor thing.

Posted by judybrowni on October 25, 2011 at 8:24 PM

@ 20, if there was any value, any value at all, to being a party girl, your comparison to Jordan might not be such a breaking-point stretch - after all, Jordan had some talent for some things outside of baseball. Paris doesn't even have looks going for her.

It's your business if you like that sort of thing, but don't act like it isn't lowbrow.

Posted by Matt from Denver on October 25, 2011 at 8:31 PM

We still watch Linsay Lohan's version of the Parent Trap. The first time we watched it on DVD the whole family thought she really was two different people. We'll always love her for that! I thought commandeering someone's car while they were driving it was kind of fun too, like she's confused between movies and real life. Kind of sad we mostly have to accept that difference someday...I still haven't gotten over having to accept it myself.

Posted by cracked on October 25, 2011 at 9:08 PM

well, there was a rumour that she is a fire-crotch and she has freckles on her vagina...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpx78eAai…

Posted by Puckerd Poop Chute on October 25, 2011 at 9:09 PM

@22 Does Playboy do labias these days? Didn't back in the Rat Pack days.

Posted by cracked on October 25, 2011 at 9:09 PM

Maybe because I'm gay or old, but I find Jamie Lee Curtis 100 times more sexy than Lindsay Lohan. I couldn't pick Lohan out of a lineup. Curtis has a completely unique personality, with sex appeal and charisma to burn, even at twice Lohan's age. I can count the number of women who turn me on in the single digits, and Jamie Lee Curtis is one of them. Lohan... not even close.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on October 25, 2011 at 9:23 PM

Ah Come on,...I don't blame her...If you could get over having a career, cause shit and scandal, pose nude and never have to work again..wouldn't you?

Posted by Uve on October 25, 2011 at 9:32 PM

@12, they're going to need industrial-strength Photoshop for this one. The poor girl does NOT look well. Her teeth are rotting out of her mouth -- little brown stubs. And her skin, on her arms and legs at least, and presumably elsewhere, shows bruising and discoloration that seriously looks corpse-like. The girl is seriously ill, and that million bucks is probably going to kill her soon. I give her six months -- a year if she didn't get the mil. It is terribly sad.

Posted by Fnarf

on October 25, 2011 at 9:38 PM

After Fnarf's tragic scenario plays out I'd give those unconscionable pimps who pass for her parents a week to write and publish a tell-all. Lots of somber-looking magazine covers would precede it.

Posted by TVDinner

on October 25, 2011 at 10:13 PM

@28 For someone like Lohan getting a mil to pose for Playboy isn't the crowning achievement of a career it's the disastrous end of a career. Lohan won't be getting anymore gigs with Disney once America has seen her vagina. She wouldn't be doing this if she weren't desperate for cash.

Posted by Ken Mehlman on October 25, 2011 at 10:15 PM

@27 Amen.
@29 & 30 ibid.
@31 The Rat disowned her long ago. Clorox couldn't scrub her clean enough for the Rat now.

Posted by Merlin D. Bear on October 25, 2011 at 10:31 PM

@23: Really, being a socialite is lowbrow? Wow, that's bad news for untold generations of beautiful, wealthy, and socially gifted women.

I'm dying to know what you consider highbrow. Sitting in an overstuffed leather chair watching Masterpiece Theater through your monocle? Fishing? Boosting your self-esteem by putting down women who are out of your league?

Posted by seandr on October 25, 2011 at 10:36 PM

@27: Jamie Lee Curtis is awesome. She's also a hermaphrodite, which might explain why you, a gay man, find her so attractive.

Personally, I think this is beautiful.

@29: Dude, I hope you are wrong, but given the life arc of so many child stars, you are probably right.

Posted by seandr on October 25, 2011 at 10:47 PM

You can buy a lot of meth for a mil.

Posted by sirkowski

on October 25, 2011 at 11:37 PM

She'd look way better if she still had the auburn hair. That peroxide blonde does not work for her skin tone.

Posted by laterite on October 26, 2011 at 12:08 AM

@29 I'm with you on this one Fnarf. She's been looking awful for quite a while. I've kept feeling hopeful that she would pull out of it, but that is probably because I have been projecting personalities from her movies onto my perceptions of her in real life.

Posted by cracked on October 26, 2011 at 12:09 AM

Playboy's going to airbrush the shit out of her. Regardless of how good or ugly someone looks, every bunny comes off looking exactly the same. The sort of people who read playboy are just a step up from jerking off to the Victoria's secret catalog anyway, they don't mind that Playboy hires any "retoucher" with a warezed copy of photoshop these days.

Posted by Gaussian smart blur porn on October 26, 2011 at 4:08 AM

@34 Yes, being famous for being a party girl/socialite is lowbrow. You can like it if you want, but don't pretend it isn't. If Paris Hilton wasn't born into a rich family, wouldn't even be talking about her.

Also, Jamie Lee Curtis is NOT a hermaphrodite. Humans can not be hermaphrodites because a being a hermaphrodite means having male and female sex organs that are FULLY functional. Also, unless you can provide proof that Jamie Lee Curtis is or has admitted to being intersex then you are just spreading lies about someone you know very little about.

Posted by Buffy on October 26, 2011 at 7:16 AM

@ 33, no, shallow man, the cult of celebrity, the only thing responsible for her fame, is lowbrow. Nice attempt to deflect.

BTW, Paris Hilton has "social gifts" and "beauty?" I've never seen either on display. Maybe you believe wealth automatically bestows that upon those who have it? That's pretty lowbrow, too.

Posted by Matt from Denver on October 26, 2011 at 7:52 AM

@36 for the win. If she's back to redhead, I'll buy this; if not, why bother?

Posted by Chicago Fan on October 26, 2011 at 7:57 AM

@39, Historically 'hermaphrodite' and 'androgyne' are both long-used terms for 'intersexed'. Gynander is another, now long disused. Full function in a reproductiv or sexual sense optional.

Posted by Mynamehere on October 26, 2011 at 8:33 AM

@39 being famous for being a party girl/socialite is lowbrow

Calling things "lowbrow" tells me that you are desperate to appear highbrow, which is ultimately pretty lowbrow.

Also, Jamie Lee Curtis is NOT a hermaphrodite.

Snopes classifies this rumor as "undetermined", so the jury is still out. And why should you be so offended by this? Do you have something against hermaphrodites?

Posted by seandr on October 26, 2011 at 8:49 AM

@40: The "cult of celebrity" has two sects, one that worships and the other that hates. As someone who doesn't even have a TV, I think both are pretty fucking dumb, but the haters are just pathetic.

Funny, how bent out of shape you get by the fact that I'm able to see Paris Hilton as a kind, beautiful, and fun loving young girl. Lowbrow? No, I'm a gentleman who treats women respectfully.

When a middle aged man like yourself hates on a young woman he doesn't know and who has done nothing wrong to him, that's the behavior of a creep.

Posted by seandr on October 26, 2011 at 9:06 AM

I'd rather just look at her old photos... She's too much of a druggie these days for me to want to look at.

Posted by Cory on October 26, 2011 at 9:20 AM

@ 44, if telling yourself that helps you in your quest to bag as many women as you can, more power to you.

Posted by Matt from Denver on October 26, 2011 at 10:27 AM

@44 I'm not sure many people would describe Paris Hilton as 'kind', but I don't have a TV either so I don't really know.

Posted by Ken Mehlman on October 26, 2011 at 10:36 AM

@44 So bringing JLC's genitals to the discussion is a "gentleman who treats women respectfully?" Does she lose the respect when you add the extra bits?

Full disclosure: I had a comment previewed with the same info about the same time as yours and got distracted and never posted, thx for bringing it up, heh.

LIndsay Lohan's cds are great pop music, obviously autotuned if you listen to any youtube live performances compared to the retail versions, but the passion of a strange, and I think genius, woman comes through. I think it will take her as long to get out of the toxic Disney mindset as she spent in it. To spend her formative years being groomed as superficial, bland product has a logical extension in this Playboy performance.

I wish her luck and Free KiLo....err...Free LiLo...

Posted by bedipped on October 26, 2011 at 10:41 AM

@46 I have to wonder why Sean's opinion of celeb party girls has elicited such a strong reaction from you. Usually your one of the not-crazy people on Slog.

Posted by Ken Mehlman on October 26, 2011 at 10:51 AM

@ 49, it really isn't that strong. Well, it made me barf a little, but it's mostly because seandr's shallowness that's the culprit there.

Posted by Matt from Denver on October 26, 2011 at 11:01 AM

playboy does not show labia. i would read more playboy if it did. you may see some trimmed-hair-shrouded, airbrushed majora at most.

she's going to look fine, but it will be bare breasts and ass. there won't be nether regions.

Posted by Max Solomon on October 26, 2011 at 2:11 PM

"playboy does not show labia. i would read more playboy if it did."

It'd still continue to look like haribo-airbrushed genitals.

Posted by undead ayn rand on October 26, 2011 at 4:36 PM

seandr @44, do you really think saying "I'm a gentleman who treats women respectfully" after calling JLC "a hermaphrodite" is not "the behavior of a creep"?

I'm afraid most people would disagree with you on that one.

Posted by Irena on October 28, 2011 at 9:31 AM