Dick's in Edmonds: The top story in the Everett Herald covers the beloved local franchise's northern expansion. It's a good day in Edmonds.

Vendetta: "'I will spend my last dying breath if I need to, and I will spend every penny of Apple's $40bn in the bank, to right this wrong,' Jobs told Isaacson. 'I'm going to destroy Android, because it's a stolen product. I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this.'"

Hertz Fires Muslims in Sea-Tac: Apparently, Hertz' 25 Muslim employees weren't clocking out for prayer breaks, and after union negotiations broke down, they were all fired.

Four Times an Hour: Someone in America completes suicide every fifteen minutes, according to a new CDC study. The report also notes that 6.8% of adults in Utah have serious thoughts of suicide.

Republicans Hate Firefighters and Teachers: Yesterday, all 50 47 Republican senators voted against a provision of the American Jobs Act that would have raised $35 billion in taxes to create or preserve local and state teaching and firefighting jobs.

Where Do You Bury a Dictator? Libyans try to answer the question.

The Free Market Sets Wireless Profits High: As is evident from Verizon's $1.38 billion profit posting from last quarter.

Fish Farm Proposed in the Strait: The new fish farm would be the first in decades, and would produce 10 million pounds of different varieties of salmon annually. Of course, there are environmental concerns with such a large expansion.

WSDOT's Come to Jesus Moment: Everyone is waiting with bated breath to see the outcome of tonight's nine day Alaskan Way Viaduct closure. "Via Con Dios" is the sentiment used to describe the event on the WSDOT twitter.

"Lohan Shows Up Early for Morgue Duty": Notorious shitshow Lindsay Lohan showed up an hour and a half early to her community service at the morgue in Los Angeles County.

Here's a shout out to an old a cappella buddy, in honor of Michael Jackson.