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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

When Zombie Apocalypse Comes...

Posted by on Tue, Oct 18, 2011 at 1:53 PM

...where will you run? New York Magazine asked people where they would hole up in NYC (thanks, Slog-tipper Wendy!):

The Upper East Side
“More blue-hairs around as zombie fodder. And older zombies are slower zombies.” —Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, screenwriters, Zombieland

So where's the best place to survive in Seattle? I'll admit I'm inclined to follow my friends with relatives in fly-over country east of here... I hear tell of well-stocked ranches and lots of firearms.

Which reminds me: if you want to practice killing zombies, Tacoma Tactical airsoft has Zombie Hunter Training all Halloween weekend.


Comments (25) RSS

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Pithy Name 1
I am not going to say, for fear of all of you people showing up. Must keep the team small and efficient to start.
Posted by Pithy Name on October 18, 2011 at 2:00 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 2
Too late.

Viadoom is on us and thousands of car-eating Chia Trolls are spreading.

Told ya not to tear down the Viaduct ...
Posted by Will in Seattle on October 18, 2011 at 2:01 PM · Report this
Rotten666 3
I live next to a prewar elementary school. It looks like a prison. I'm all good.
Posted by Rotten666 on October 18, 2011 at 2:01 PM · Report this
One things for sure- get the hell out of the city!
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on October 18, 2011 at 2:06 PM · Report this
I would hole up in one of the UW buildings built in the 60s and 70s. They were designed to complicate riots and demonstrations, which I think would apply to zombie hordes.

Plus, there's a farm on campus for long term planning, and dozens of buildings, should my chosen one fall.
Posted by Queerly Yours on October 18, 2011 at 2:06 PM · Report this
Queen of Sleaze 6
Right where I live. Far enough out that the first waves should be fairly small and easy to defeat. Also far enough out that after the first waves we shouldn't get more than a few zombies at a time. Lots of room for growing crops and raising livestock, ample deer and other wildlife populations, should be easy to monitor and defend against raiders. Also close enough to civilization that scavenging missions should be possible.
Posted by Queen of Sleaze on October 18, 2011 at 2:08 PM · Report this
SoDo. You've got the Costcos and fast food places to supply (some) food for a while, warehouses that could be converted as well as all the metal casting industry and the artist work spcaes...

I think the Burner community down here could survive a zombie infestation easily.
Posted by Chris B on October 18, 2011 at 2:12 PM · Report this
Zeppelin, duh.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 18, 2011 at 2:13 PM · Report this
Fnarf 9
I hope they get to me soon, because then I won't have to hear anymore about zombies. Gah. I never thought I'd say this, but I almost miss steampunk (steampunk is over, right?).
Posted by Fnarf on October 18, 2011 at 2:14 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 10
@5 - North Seattle Community College is the same way. Lots of good, high ground and vantage points for shooting zombies. That's where I'd go.
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 18, 2011 at 2:17 PM · Report this
leek 11
I would be happy to create a steampunk trap and then feed them all to the zombies... were it not for the fact that then there'd be steampunk zombies.
Posted by leek on October 18, 2011 at 2:21 PM · Report this
@9, you'll be sad to read AMC's zombie series opened its second season the other night by setting a record as the most-watched basic cable drama episode in the history of ever.

Every zombie script in the world just got picked out of every studio slush pile. Years more of this stuff coming at us.…
Posted by gloomy gus on October 18, 2011 at 2:26 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 13
Run? Are you crazy? That's when the real fun starts. I don't have a house full of guns and knives for nothing. :D
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on October 18, 2011 at 2:31 PM · Report this
Bellevue, that way it would seem as if nothing was happening.
Posted by Mugwumpt on October 18, 2011 at 2:36 PM · Report this
@10 college campuses are good spots to go. They're designed to be segmented into self-contained areas, and they're fairly sturdy.

Plus, there are also police stations on campus, so there's a built in armory for fighting the horde.
Posted by Queerly Yours on October 18, 2011 at 3:01 PM · Report this
Geni 16
Heh, we always refer to it as Zombie Apocalypse Training when we go to the range for target-shooting.

And @11, there were zombies at Steamcon last weekend. Several of them, actually.
Posted by Geni on October 18, 2011 at 3:28 PM · Report this
dirac 17
If there's one thing I hate more than zombies and mormon teen angst over vampginity, it's steampunk.
Posted by dirac on October 18, 2011 at 3:38 PM · Report this
I hadn't thought of the UW campus, but considering that I am currently sitting in a giant, practically windowless concrete building during humans vs. zombies week typing this, it makes a lot of sense. Sodo jumped out at me though initially- lots of flat land, so good visibility, lots of concrete buildings, and not densely populated.
Posted by BlaineB33 on October 18, 2011 at 4:17 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 19
You're all mental. All of us in the metro area are dead. The people in heavily geographically isolated and heavily armed places like Omak, Cliffdell and Forks will be laughing at us. That's where you make a beeline toward and hope you have family there.

Seattle has 650,000 people in it. If it's a Romero zombie situation of ALL dead rising, that's 650,000 zombies vs you potentially. If it's a bite-driven scenario, you're probably still gonna be outnumbered 10,000 to 1 in the city. Good luck with that.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi on October 18, 2011 at 4:36 PM · Report this
laterite 20
Dang it, Joe, you beat me to it. If you're caught anywhere near an urban area during an apocalypse, zombie or otherwise, you're pretty much screwed. By the time you think of making your way to the UW or NSCC or whatever, 100,000 other folks will already be headed there, and getting killed or killing each other along the way to boot. Using the UW farm to grow crops and, GTFO.
Posted by laterite on October 18, 2011 at 5:32 PM · Report this
wisepunk 21
Harbor Island is right out my window. giant ships and zombies can't swim. Jeez, don't any of you read Max Brooks? Zombies don't swim.
Posted by wisepunk on October 18, 2011 at 6:14 PM · Report this
Roma 22
I understand you can fend them off with irony and cupcakes.
Posted by Roma on October 18, 2011 at 6:17 PM · Report this
Stiny 23
You mean the Zombie Apocalypse hasn't already happened? Then WTF was up with all the people in line at the coffee hut this morning?
Posted by Stiny on October 18, 2011 at 6:41 PM · Report this
@5, @10 - That's right! NSCC was indeed built so that there are no connecting corridors, to thwart sit-ins and be more easily defensible. People (or zombies) would need to go outside in order to move around.
Posted by moo on October 18, 2011 at 10:38 PM · Report this
I call dibs on the Space Needle.
Posted by Marco42 on October 18, 2011 at 11:43 PM · Report this

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