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Friday, October 14, 2011

I Am Getting a New Phone

Posted by on Fri, Oct 14, 2011 at 9:25 AM

My new phone will not be white, because that would be RACIST.

The next picture you see from these fingers will be magical.
  • The next picture you see from these fingers will be magical.

 

Comments (38) RSS

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Fifty-Two-Eighty 1
My BlackBerry is white. So there. :p
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on October 14, 2011 at 9:51 AM
gloomy gus 2
You're developing quite the specialty of posting photos of placards outside shops on the Hill. This will take that to the next level.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 14, 2011 at 9:53 AM
seandr 3
When someone promises me "magical" pictures, there better be at least a little bit of tit showing in them.
Posted by seandr on October 14, 2011 at 10:05 AM
JF 4
You were joking, but I bet a part of you actually believes it.
Posted by JF on October 14, 2011 at 10:07 AM
burgin22 5
Cool! Please also keep us updated on your choice for lunch, as well as updates on how your commute home was!
Posted by burgin22 http://www.zombo.com/ on October 14, 2011 at 10:14 AM
Urgutha Forka 6
When can we officially stop calling these things "phones?"
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 14, 2011 at 10:14 AM
blip 7
WHY ARE YOU POSTING THIS WHEN YOU COULD BE POSTING SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT
Posted by blip on October 14, 2011 at 10:15 AM
Baconcat 8
WHAT IS THIS? A BLOG?!

WE DEMAND NEWS
Posted by Baconcat on October 14, 2011 at 10:20 AM
Gern Blanston 9
The line isn't for tanning?
Posted by Gern Blanston on October 14, 2011 at 10:25 AM
MacCrocodile 10
I WANT MY MONEY BACK
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 14, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Lissa 11
I will also be getting one of these Magic Talking Candy Bars, and I will love it, and squeeze it, and possibly call it George. And then it WILL ANSWER ME.
Posted by Lissa on October 14, 2011 at 10:30 AM
evilvolus 12
@6 - When they stop transmitting voice?
Posted by evilvolus on October 14, 2011 at 10:38 AM
13
So, you won't buy from City Chicken because of their misogyny toward (rich) Demi Moore, but you don't mind buying a phone made by poor chinese women (and men, I'm sure) paid pennies by our standards. Got it.
Posted by madcap on October 14, 2011 at 10:41 AM
sikandro 14
Well-played, Miss Graves.
Posted by sikandro on October 14, 2011 at 10:48 AM
gloomy gus 15
@13, Jen's objection was not on behalf of Ms. Demi Moore but on behalf of all women who will grow old. Thanks to working conditions, Chinese women building iPhones will not grow old enough to get stringy, so the principle does not apply.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 14, 2011 at 10:55 AM
care bear 16
@15 They'll commit suicide long before that happens.
Posted by care bear on October 14, 2011 at 11:02 AM
17
Sounds like Jen's been talking with Charles a lot lately. Am I racist now because I have a white refrigerator?
Posted by Calpete on October 14, 2011 at 11:13 AM
Fnarf 18
Black phones are more racist than white ones. They associate blackness with being a cheap consumer good.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 14, 2011 at 11:13 AM
very bad homo 19
It is ageist of you to replace your old phone.
Posted by very bad homo on October 14, 2011 at 11:16 AM
Fnarf 20
@17, are black people just appliances to you, Calpete?
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 14, 2011 at 11:35 AM
21
CONSUME. BUY MORE APPLE PRODUCTS.
Posted by 38hjrh on October 14, 2011 at 11:37 AM
COMTE 22
Jen, you're going to love the new Samsung S2 - excellent choice!
Posted by COMTE http://www.chriscomte.com on October 14, 2011 at 12:04 PM
Irena 23
This idea of "buying", "owning" or "getting" technology smacks of colonialist violence. Perhaps you should interrogate your need to maintain a binary in which "human" is the privileged term. We don't "own" our phones, we enter into reciprocal relationships with them.
Posted by Irena on October 14, 2011 at 12:08 PM
derek_erdman 24
Much much?
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on October 14, 2011 at 12:09 PM
25
Bragging about having fingers is really insensitive to people without hands. And buying a new consumer device is insensitive to poor people. Also, you're killing Chinese workers.
Posted by Vindaloo in the digeridoo on October 14, 2011 at 12:10 PM
26
@23, you just won an Internet.
Posted by Quincent on October 14, 2011 at 12:11 PM
Lissa 27
@13: Madcap shouldn’t you be downtown doing something important like protesting instead of hanging around on the internet? And by the way, who made your computer upon which you’ve typed your blistering critique of Jen? Free Range Canadians?

Seriously, I imagine that as you wrote that post your face looked exactly like a cat’s butt.

Also Magic Talking CANDY BAAAAARRR!!!!!!
Posted by Lissa on October 14, 2011 at 12:17 PM
Re. 28
#23, I am laughing for days. Thank you.
Posted by Re. on October 14, 2011 at 12:24 PM
boxcar 29
BLOOD PHONES
Posted by boxcar on October 14, 2011 at 1:24 PM
Irena 30
I humbly give half the internet I won to Lissa for inducing an acid flashback with the image of Magic Talking Candy Bars™ made by "free range Canadians" :D
Posted by Irena on October 14, 2011 at 2:03 PM
Will in Seattle 31
I'm still waiting for you to reply to my Find Friends request.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on October 14, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Space Funk Guru 32
Jen, the very fact that you only put one word in all caps ("RACIST") clearly proves that you are discriminating against hot-headed internet drama queens like me. Please give me something truly insignificant to go on an over-reactionary tirade about. Otherwise, I'll have to report you to the ASPCA for being a human speciesist pig. Either that or, like, totally de-friend you on, like, Facebook.
Posted by Space Funk Guru on October 14, 2011 at 2:53 PM
Lissa 33
@30: You are too kind.
I accept with humble gratitude one half of the internet Irena, on behalf of all Free Range Canadians (shout out to the much missed Canuck wherever she is).
Thank you.
Posted by Lissa on October 14, 2011 at 3:00 PM
gloomy gus 34
Aw, Lissa, yes. Here's to Canuck. Wishing you all the snark and joy there is, dear woman.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 14, 2011 at 3:37 PM
gloomy gus 35
Aw, Lissa, yes. Here's to Canuck. Wishing you all the snark and joy there is, dear woman.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 14, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Space Funk Guru 36
The very fact that any of you on this thread have even mentioned race at all makes you all RACIST FASCIST SEXIST SPECIESIST PIGS!!!!!

Posted by Space Funk Guru on October 14, 2011 at 3:43 PM
Will in Seattle 37
@36 why do you hate pork? Are you anti-Rastafarian?
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on October 14, 2011 at 4:12 PM
38
Gee, it seems like Charles "Did I mention I'm black in the last 30 mintues" Mudede would be posting this.
Posted by Sennapod on October 16, 2011 at 8:56 AM

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