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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Fashion Sorry Facebook, Not Even If They're Free

Posted by Kelly O on Wed, Oct 12, 2011 at 11:10 AM

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Comments (58) RSS

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These literally make me so upset that I cry.

Posted by David Schmader on October 12, 2011 at 11:13 AM

How do I get a pair?

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on October 12, 2011 at 11:16 AM

No.

Posted by MacCrocodile on October 12, 2011 at 11:24 AM

You know, people have told me they're very comfortable, and I know a lot of people like them, and that's great, it really is, but...no. Not in a million years, not even if they paid me, etc. I am generally an open-minded person, but not in this instance.

Posted by Hernandez

on October 12, 2011 at 11:24 AM

Oh, go ahead and get a free pair in blue and you can use them for Halloween:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MPfTzXEZ…
Blue footed booby dance

Posted by thatsnotright on October 12, 2011 at 11:26 AM

I'm in physical therapy for a knee injury, and tons of clients I see there are there for injuries related to running in these stupid shoes. They're ugly and they cause injuries if you're not a toe-runner (a verrrrrry small portion of the population).

Posted by zee on October 12, 2011 at 11:35 AM

@2 I want some too. There are many different kinds. Check out the REI site!

http://www.rei.com/search?query=barefoot…

Posted by cracked on October 12, 2011 at 11:36 AM

@6 I thought they would be good for gym workouts.

Posted by cracked on October 12, 2011 at 11:41 AM

I'd wear them merely for the pleasure of dismaying others. But I can't afford free.

Posted by TVDinner

on October 12, 2011 at 11:43 AM

I'm trying to weaponize a pair of these with some modified Black Death surface bonding.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on October 12, 2011 at 11:45 AM

Those creep me out so much! I have a friend who wears them ansd swears they help with her back pain but I just can't stand to be around her when she has them on. *shivers*

Posted by Baby Blue on October 12, 2011 at 11:46 AM

Kelly, I will pay you $20 to wear these to the office and go over and ask Dan, Charles or Megan a question. As long as someone is filming.

Posted by Fnarf

on October 12, 2011 at 11:47 AM

I think they have the makings of a Real Life Super Hero costume. What superpower would go good with these things?

Posted by RonK, Seattle on October 12, 2011 at 11:52 AM

@12 If she drops a pencil on the floor and picks it up with her toes I'll chip in another $20.

Posted by blip on October 12, 2011 at 11:54 AM

Hid. E. Ous.

Posted by Lola, Now in Iowa City on October 12, 2011 at 11:55 AM

I have terrible ankles and these kinds of shoes made it possible for me to strengthen my ankles and run after years of not being able to.

Now if they only made a shoe that could correct laziness...

Posted by Soupytwist

on October 12, 2011 at 11:57 AM

Don't walk or run in those. They will fuck up your knees and feet.

Posted by sirkowski

on October 12, 2011 at 11:59 AM

If they're really good for your feet, maybe someone needs to invent an overshoe that you wear with them so no one has to see.

Posted by Fnarf

on October 12, 2011 at 12:00 PM

In the future, all shoes will be Monkey-toes or Crocs. or a combination thereof.

Posted by Max Solomon on October 12, 2011 at 12:01 PM

I find mine profoundly erotic. I'm now far more interested in my feet than my genitals. And petting strangers in the checkout line with my prehensile toes is even more fun than seducing closeted Mormon boys. (It's ok, Jesus can't see us under the covers.)

It's just delicious. Shopping, at the theater, on the bus… Mmmmm. I touch strangers with my secret toes, and they never know how they've pleasured me.

I see you shiver with antissa…

Posted by rbryanh on October 12, 2011 at 12:06 PM

I'm sure those are wonderful for running...just wait until you hit a piece of glass, nail or anything like that and you'll just glide through the problem!!! LOL!!!!!

Only meatheads and morons would wear those.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on October 12, 2011 at 12:11 PM

You can walk on glass, it doesn't penetrate. Stop freaking out they are just shoes.

Posted by Kenn on October 12, 2011 at 12:17 PM

@14 put me in for twenty too.

Posted by gloomy gus on October 12, 2011 at 12:19 PM

@22 as a cyclist:
If glass/tacks can penetrate the kevlar belted bicycle tires they can penetrate flimsy toe shoes.

Posted by Andy_Squirrel on October 12, 2011 at 12:28 PM

@12, 14, 23 - I could probably not only pick up a pencil, but maybe even type on my keyboard....

I have really long toes

Posted by Kelly O on October 12, 2011 at 12:28 PM

@7 woah. it costs a lot to run barefoot.

Posted by in-frequent on October 12, 2011 at 12:30 PM

Also, yeah, just put a piece of fabric over the top of the separate toes. That would go a long way to making these less creepy.

Posted by in-frequent on October 12, 2011 at 12:35 PM

didn't you know? hideous footwear has been in since the introduction of crocs.

Snuggies didn't help much either.

Hey, there's a good idea for a Halloween costume!

Posted by Garfield on October 12, 2011 at 12:35 PM

I could wear toe socks. I really could. But hell no to wearing these.

Posted by Simone on October 12, 2011 at 12:38 PM

any foot fetishists here? that's the opinion i want.

Posted by aardvark on October 12, 2011 at 12:41 PM

GAH! Creepy Toe Shoes. CREEPY TOE SHOES!!!111!!

Posted by Lissa on October 12, 2011 at 1:00 PM

@8 No support - unless you're one of the rare people who are perfectly aligned foot-to-neck, you need support, whether you're lifting, running, or zumba-ing.

Posted by zee on October 12, 2011 at 1:10 PM

How do these not cause shin splints especially if you're running on the sidewalk?

@24,

I think walkers and runners are in a somewhat better position to avoid glass and nails than your average bike rider.

Posted by keshmeshi on October 12, 2011 at 1:17 PM

I'm in for $20 if she hot-glues fake rhinestones on top in the shape of a Playboy Bunny.

Posted by stuckie on October 12, 2011 at 1:39 PM

@32: Yeah, makes you wonder how humans survived for hundreds of thousands of years without Asics.

Posted by Hmmmmmm? on October 12, 2011 at 1:41 PM

an alternative for barefoot running.

Posted by in-frequent on October 12, 2011 at 1:42 PM

The first time I ever saw these, they were on the feet of some innocent passerby. I was tripping balls and couldn't believe my eyes. My altered cohorts didn't notice them, and I didn't have the capacity to explain what I'd seen.

It took three months and seeing a pair in the wild while sober to finally find out that I wasn't hallucinating...when I saw them...

Posted by More, I Say! on October 12, 2011 at 1:58 PM

they do make similar shoes - same sole material - without the separate toes. tried em on at REI.

Posted by Max Solomon on October 12, 2011 at 2:03 PM

So we evolved over millions of years of trial and error, but were unable to walk or run properly until Nike invented "support"? I think the idea is that humans would all be "toe runners" if they didn't get used to having pillows under their heels. I'm not arguing that these shoes are pretty...that's just personal preference...but the idea that we can't run properly without shoes is ridiculous.

Posted by pox on October 12, 2011 at 2:06 PM

barefoot running shoes exist that do not make your feet look like creepy fucking gorilla hands!!!!!!! i dont give a shit how comfortable they are, they are ugly, and there is a LESS UGLY OPTION FOR YOU!! for the love of fucking god, TAKE IT.

Posted by alithea on October 12, 2011 at 2:08 PM

@39 - And the ideas that nature cannot be improved upon and that running in the city on pavement is the same thing as running in a field are just as ridiculous.

Posted by MacCrocodile on October 12, 2011 at 2:09 PM

@pox hitting the nail on the head.

I run with them. I don't mess up my feet, ankles, or legs. In fact, I'm stronger because I run in them. Yes, I am a toe-runner... that's how we're supposed to run. We're not supposed to pound asphalt with our heel bones, not even walking! I walk up and down a big ass hill every day, and without these, it's painful. Traditional shoes force us in the complete opposite direction nature intended.

They look "ugly" only because we've had closed-toed shoes as the acceptable societal norm for centuries. I'm not exactly all for breaking those norms down, because I would definitely rather not see them worn in anything beyond casual daily office wear (ESPECIALLY if you're a stand-up worker) or workouts. I would never meet someone for a coffee or dinner or black tie or whatever wearing these.

But what the fucking hell is wrong with using your legs and feet the way they evolved to perform?

I'm not saying you should buy them in hot pink... please don't. But there are some shallow, capitalism-soaked people here, god damn. If a nice girl ran past me wearing these I'd probably want her more.

Posted by Ugly Shoe Wearing Jerkoff on October 12, 2011 at 2:20 PM

hahaha <3

Posted by Nark

on October 12, 2011 at 2:22 PM

@MacCrocodile I'd suggest you read Born to Run, or just google barefoot running a bit. You'll see that once we started improving upon nature for performance, where running is concerned, the injury rate has skyrocketed. You don't see that with barefoot runners (you'll still see injuries, but the rate is much, much lower).

Posted by Ugly Shoe Wearing Jerkoff on October 12, 2011 at 2:24 PM

@42 wait, you are supporting the purchase of yet another new shoe fad that you can only use for the specific purpose of working out and you are calling us Consumer Whores?? Whut?

Posted by Andy_Squirrel on October 12, 2011 at 2:50 PM

@42 there are other WAY LESS UGLY options for barefoot running and you chose the most horrifying ones! YOUR FAULT. YOURS.

Posted by alithea on October 12, 2011 at 3:01 PM

I wear some like these on the regular, and they have helped me immensely. I am pretty fucking flat footed, and even with custom molded orthotics running on any hard surface hurts like a mother fucker after only a little while. On top of that I hate wearing shoes, they make me feel constricted. When I wear my toe shoes though, my foot pain disappears as well as much of my chronic lower back pain, and I don't feel so cramped. When you walk toe-heel you utilize many more of your body's stabilizer muscles, which for me means that by walking on my toes I build up an arch and my gate is greatly improved. Also, if one were to research the back and joint health of secluded indigenous people who live primarily barefooted, they might be surprised at the numbers they'd come across.

Posted by Jonathan Doherty on October 12, 2011 at 3:03 PM

@47 ALSO THERE ARE LESS UGLY OPTIONS!

Posted by alithea on October 12, 2011 at 3:07 PM

If God wanted us to run, he wouldn't have invented the wheeled office chair.

Posted by Fnarf

on October 12, 2011 at 3:09 PM

I wonder if Dan will soon have a piece on foot-shoe fetish?

I'm surprised by how freaked out so many people are by the shape of these shoes.

Posted by cracked on October 12, 2011 at 3:29 PM

Can we get them with claws? If you're going to freak people out you might as well go all the way.

Posted by Orv on October 12, 2011 at 3:55 PM

As a web-toed human, I feel discriminated against by these shoes.

Posted by Looking For a Better Read on October 12, 2011 at 4:21 PM

@51

you mean like maybe with that great big Velociraptor claw? that'd be sick.

Posted by LEE.

on October 12, 2011 at 7:40 PM

@ 37, by "More, I say!"
That made me laugh so hard! I can only imagine what the mind would do with hallucinogens and those shoes. I hope you recover eventually. My sincerest condolences.
These are definitely creepy shoes. I'm creeped out by the invasiveness of the actual shoe going in between every toe. It's too intimate :( DO NOT WANT!!!

Posted by dumpstervampire on October 12, 2011 at 11:12 PM

@24- Back in college I went barefoot most of the time. One time I stepped on a broken bottle bottom with my heel. It only got about half-way into my callous and stuck there. I noticed my foot was clicking. No blood.

The thing about being barefoot is that you're generally more aware of where your feet are. I only stopped with constant bare feet when I moved to the city because summer pavement is too hot and the bars wouldn't let me in.

Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings