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Thursday, October 6, 2011

This Is the Kind of Mail I Get These Days

Posted by on Thu, Oct 6, 2011 at 12:57 PM

This just came in to my inbox this morning:

Mr. Constant,
In your recent article in the Stranger you state, "Truther thought tends to resemble Zeno's arrow paradox: There is no idea so simple that you can't complicate it by breaking it in half. We all saw planes smash into those buildings. Therefore, the planes must not have caused the collapse"

First of all you didn't see "planes smash into those buildings". You only saw it on TV. Has it occurred to you that there is a difference? Or do you believe everything you see on tv?

Here is my reasoned and articulate response: HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT.

 

Comments (38) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
ryanayr 1
Wake up Sheeple! 911 was an inside job by Obama so he could win the 2008 election and turn Amerikkka into a socialist dictatorship!
Posted by ryanayr on October 6, 2011 at 1:06 PM
Doctor Memory 2
(What's the over/under on how many comments it'll take for SgtDoom to start dumbing it up in this thread?)
Posted by Doctor Memory http://blahg.blank.org on October 6, 2011 at 1:08 PM
MacCrocodile 3
@2 - There should be a separate pool on which one of our star dumbasses gets here first. This one is definitely in the Sergeant's wheelhouse, but they'll all have something to say, I'm sure.
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 6, 2011 at 1:10 PM
4
That's a whole different level. The one that always drove me most crazy was the claim that planted explosions were bringing the buildings down. The evidence was that the windows were all blowing out during the collapse.
Posted by cliche on October 6, 2011 at 1:10 PM
5
People are so fucking stupid.
Posted by hannabrooks on October 6, 2011 at 1:13 PM
6
The reasoned and articulate response would be: thank you for illustrating my point.
Posted by David Wright on October 6, 2011 at 1:14 PM
7
Thanks to the internet there is no longer am institutional consensus on reality. It's choose your own facts. Propose that the sky is green and you're no longer automatically the lone village idiot because there will be a thousand pople who can instantly agree with you.
Posted by tkc on October 6, 2011 at 1:27 PM
8
Spindles? Where are you? Are you trapped under something heavy and can't get to your keyboard?
Posted by Mr. Happy Sunshine on October 6, 2011 at 1:28 PM
coolio 9
Well said Mr. Constant.
Posted by coolio on October 6, 2011 at 1:28 PM
10
No, I may not have actually seen it with my eyes. But I have an ex who grew up 3 blocks away, who DID see it. Who is lucky he and his family is alive. Who had to stay in a hotel for 3 months while the 3 inches of dust was cleaned from the interior of their apartment. So.. fuck you.
Posted by Andyrew on October 6, 2011 at 1:30 PM
Fnarf 11
WAKE UP SHEEPLE 9/11 WAS FAKED ON THE MOON
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 6, 2011 at 1:31 PM
Matt from Denver 12
@ 10, how are going to spend those 30 pieces of silver you got for saying that???/??/?
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 6, 2011 at 1:32 PM
alithea 13
i would like to skywrite your response please.
Posted by alithea on October 6, 2011 at 1:36 PM
Baconcat 14
NOTHING ON TV IS REAL

NANCY GRACE'S NIPPLE IS A LIE
Posted by Baconcat on October 6, 2011 at 1:37 PM
15
I never saw this monkeyspank write this letter to Paul so it never happened. If a tree fell on the author of this letter in the woods and nobody was around to see it, did it actually happen?
Posted by Reg on October 6, 2011 at 1:37 PM
Donolectic 16
I'm with @15 - DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ ON THE INTERNETS OMG SHEEPLE.
Posted by Donolectic on October 6, 2011 at 1:45 PM
Opinionbastard 17
Sometimes I wish words were punching.
Posted by Opinionbastard http://https://twitter.com/#!/opinionbastard on October 6, 2011 at 1:49 PM
Mary P. Traverse 18
Paul, don't you know it was ancient aliens?!
Posted by Mary P. Traverse http://mptsketchbook.blogspot.com on October 6, 2011 at 1:52 PM
e.strange 19
Why is it that the same people who claim 911 didn't happen because they didn't see it with their own eyes have no problem believing in virgin births and zombie Jesus?
Posted by e.strange http://wtfontbook.blogspot.com/ on October 6, 2011 at 1:52 PM
20
According to the numbers I can find, there're something like 3.5-4 million people (between those who live there and those who live elsewhere but are in the city for some other reason: commuters, tourists, etc.) in Manhattan on your average Tuesday morning, and lord knows how many more within eye-shot of the towers from the other boroughs and New Jersey. Of that number, untold thousands saw the first plane hit, and I'm willing to bet that by the time the second plane hit, a great many more people were looking in the direction of the WTC.

All of this is to ponder: one wonders if the letter-writer is ready to call all of those people liars? Maybe they were all mass-wanded with one of those things from Men in Black?
Posted by pheeeew!crack!boom! on October 6, 2011 at 1:57 PM
Baconcat 21
@18: OMG, is that guy a Centauri?
Posted by Baconcat on October 6, 2011 at 1:57 PM
dirac 22
@18 Lulz, ftw. I mean the lack of creativity of that crowd is only surpassed by the truthers.
Posted by dirac on October 6, 2011 at 2:01 PM
Dexter 23
When every channel, from ABC to Zee TV (even Fox News!!!), is showing a slightly different angle of the same scene, I do believe it's really happening. Yes.
Posted by Dexter on October 6, 2011 at 2:04 PM
24
Hey guys, how bout we argue over how the CIA faked the moon landing next? Oh and can I be one of slogs resident dumb-asses? Pretty Please!
Posted by Jonathank5 on October 6, 2011 at 2:19 PM
OuterCow 25
These IDIOTS think those planes couldn’t have brought down the towers… WELL GUESS WHAT, they sure could have brought down those towers no problem if they were PACKED WITH ANTI-MATTER SECRETLY PRODUCED AT AREA 51 (which they were).

Fools.
Posted by OuterCow on October 6, 2011 at 2:21 PM
26
There you go Paul, giving the guy too much credit again.
Posted by Sean on October 6, 2011 at 2:23 PM
27
Why is Mudede e-mailing you?
Posted by bemusedkitty on October 6, 2011 at 2:34 PM
merry 28
Hee hee hee slogiverse is on a ROLL today!

But @27 FTW.
Posted by merry on October 6, 2011 at 2:51 PM
29
The whole thing was clearly a hoax, because, don't you see, the World Trade Center NEVER REALLY EXISTED to begin with.

The whole thing was just a hologram projected onto the city skyline, as part of a plot by the Bush administration to raise property values in lower Manhattan.
Posted by Statler N Waldorf on October 6, 2011 at 2:53 PM
Fnarf 30
@29, how can you live with yourself? You are so obviously a part of the conspiracy, posting shit like that. THE WORLD TRADE CENTER IS STILL THERE. The whole thing was faked. No planes, no bombs, no collapses, no dust. All in the pixels.

@24, if you knew ANYTHING you'd know that the moon landing was faked INSIDE THE WORLD TRADE CENTER, which is why it had to be destroyed. To hide the evidence.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 6, 2011 at 3:05 PM
MacCrocodile 31
Don't tell me you sheeple actually buy into the idea that there's a New York.
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 6, 2011 at 3:08 PM
Simone 32
I wish I could respond like that to those people in person and out loud but then I'd probably be looked at as crazy and not them.
Posted by Simone on October 6, 2011 at 3:15 PM
Matt from Denver 33
Wasn't fluoride invented at the WTC?
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 6, 2011 at 3:16 PM
Posted by venomlash on October 6, 2011 at 4:44 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 35
Chemtrails. RIGHT?
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on October 6, 2011 at 7:09 PM
36
what's the singular form of the word "sheeple"?
Posted by Eastpike on October 6, 2011 at 7:12 PM
37
Well, idiot truther, my friend Michael went downtown for jury duty that morning, and had to bicycle his way away from a collapsing tower.

I've known michael for 40 years, and yup, I believe him. My friend Larry had a brownstone downtown, and he had the lovely priviledge of watching human beings jump or fall off the towers before he fled uptown with his wife to find their son at school, and sleep in his wife's office.

They also couldn't return home for months either, because of the imaginary toxic dust from the imaginary tower collapse.

Ya know, I actually was interested in a guy last year, went on a couple dates, until he revealed himself as a "Truther" -- DTMFA.

And my father, who was literally a rocket scientist, an expert on jet fuel, has such a commonsense answer to the towers' collapse, that I'm sure it will spawn some idiot conspiracy on your part. But here we go: Jet fuel burns at a temperature high enough to bend steel.

Posted by judybrowni on October 6, 2011 at 11:35 PM
Fnarf 38
@37, oh, man, are you a pawn of the system or what? Jet fuel is INFLAMMABLE. NOT FLAMMABLE. Jet fuel can't burn! Therefore the buildings are still there.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 7, 2011 at 10:54 AM

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