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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What Is Our Children Learning?

Posted by on Wed, Oct 5, 2011 at 9:13 AM

cornellbench.jpg

At Cornell it looks like they're learning about One World Government! Proof after the jump...

benchbackcornell.JPG

The UN planted this bench here more than a hundred years ago to lead our nation's elite students down the path of socialism.

 

Comments (55) RSS

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MacCrocodile 1
Two identical images... Am I supposed to cross my eyes vertically? Is this some kind of stereoscope thing?
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 5, 2011 at 9:17 AM
Bauhaus I 2
The UN? 100 years ago? Wait...wasn't the UN founded in 1945?
Posted by Bauhaus I on October 5, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Fnarf 3
Are we supposed to be able to read the inscriptions?
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 5, 2011 at 9:21 AM
4
I don't get this one either, but it's a Dan Savage post so I'm sure it's brilliant.
Posted by Ken Mehlman on October 5, 2011 at 9:21 AM
Phoebe on NE 79th 5
And it couldn't have been the League of Nations either, which was from 1919 to 1946.
Posted by Phoebe on NE 79th on October 5, 2011 at 9:25 AM
6
I can't read what's inscribed on the bench
Posted by Statler N Waldorf on October 5, 2011 at 9:27 AM
Matt from Denver 7
From what I could research, this is the Goldwin Smith Bench, which dates back to 1871. The inscription reads, "Above all nations is humanity,"
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 5, 2011 at 9:30 AM
The Max 8
I just don't get it.
Posted by The Max on October 5, 2011 at 9:34 AM
9
I think Herman Cain must've just sucked Dan off, and he's in post-blow job stupor, which could explain why this post makes no sense.
Posted by shaneleopard on October 5, 2011 at 9:35 AM
gloomy gus 10
@7, which is not only correct but kinda lovely.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 5, 2011 at 9:35 AM
11
I'm pretty sure #7 is right, but - whatever the quality of the original photo - the pixels just aren't there in the image posted to the blog.
Posted by Warren Terra on October 5, 2011 at 10:01 AM
geoz 12
Perhaps a third picture of the same bench would help?
No... no ... it wouldn't.
Posted by geoz on October 5, 2011 at 10:05 AM
13
Um apparently not proper grammar. It's what ARE our children learning, not is.
Posted by olychick on October 5, 2011 at 10:06 AM
14
Dan -- Are you hungover? Or is it true about that little bit of fun you had with Herman? (You can tell us -- we'll keep it a secret.)
Posted by Calpete on October 5, 2011 at 10:13 AM
15
@9 Dan is stoned, is my guess.
@13 that's on purpose, a reference to Bush's statement: "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
Posted by EricaP on October 5, 2011 at 10:13 AM
MacCrocodile 16
@13 - Oh for god's sake.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushism#Edu…

Welcome to almost twelve years ago.
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 5, 2011 at 10:14 AM
17
@13, ever heard of a guy named George W. Bush? He said those words.
Posted by Vadt on October 5, 2011 at 10:15 AM
18
As far as the UN, I think he's mocking rightwing assertions that any claim to a higher humanistic (non-religious) morality is some modern invention of the United Nations and socialism.

Posted by EricaP on October 5, 2011 at 10:15 AM
Matt from Denver 19
@ 16, don't be a dick. That wasn't Bush's greatest malapropism, so you can't expect everyone to know it.
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 5, 2011 at 10:17 AM
angel in indy 20
I think Dan's trying to see if he can post a picture of a stupid bench and make the "most-commented" list.
Posted by angel in indy on October 5, 2011 at 10:17 AM
Matt from Denver 21
@ 20, he'll get that if the fucking SLOG doesn't get a new post soon.
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 5, 2011 at 10:20 AM
Urgutha Forka 22
I went to Cornell... Ever heard of it?
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 5, 2011 at 10:24 AM
gloomy gus 23
@22 Andy!
Posted by gloomy gus on October 5, 2011 at 10:29 AM
24
@#21
The "A Birch Stein" posts always coincide with a lapse in Slog posts. I assume the post covering the contents of the current issue coincides with a staff/editorial meeting regarding the next issue or something.
Posted by Warren Terra on October 5, 2011 at 10:31 AM
Matt from Denver 25
Wait, it's Wednesday, isn't it? I wish they'd keep doing the "HEY WE'RE IN A MEETING" posts instead of just the blurb in A. Birch Steen's thing. (Well, maybe the act of writing this comment will make it stick in my head that A. Birch Steen post = "WE'RE IN A MEETING" notification.)
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 5, 2011 at 10:31 AM
seandr 26
I've sat on that bench while tripping my face off.
Posted by seandr on October 5, 2011 at 10:33 AM
Matt from Denver 27
@ 24, thanks for the kind reminder. As you can see, I figured that out simultaneous to your post, but I'll always tip my hat to friendly posts, as opposed to the "Hey, idiot" kind.
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 5, 2011 at 10:33 AM
28
There's only so much you can post on youth pastors, obese women, pitballs, and Sarah Palin.
Posted by Dan needs a new schtick. on October 5, 2011 at 10:33 AM
John Horstman 29
Discursive analysis: the Bush malapropism is priming the reader to read the text as though it's in the voice of a Right-wing nut job, and the fact that Dan's posting it on his blog primes the reader to read it as satirical (not knowing that the UN is only 50-odd years old = dumb; one-world government paranoia = crazy). It might work better if we could read the fucking inscription, though; I think that's probably just a failure to post properly, as the joke doesn't really work without knowing what the bench says, or maybe it's part of an exciting new alternate reality game, where we have to hunt down the clues, like Matt from Denver did.
Posted by John Horstman on October 5, 2011 at 10:41 AM
seandr 30
@28, and gay rights, politics, closeted republicans, horrible het parents, Christian psychopaths, sex advice, sexual health, raising children, the kink community, bullying, etc. etc. etc.
Posted by seandr on October 5, 2011 at 10:43 AM
31
Sorry, sorry. Never toss something up on Slog, close your computer, and then walk away for an hour. Always double check your Slog post, always double check your Slog posts.

But look! You guys worked it out on your own! I guess... you don't really need me.
Posted by Dan Savage on October 5, 2011 at 10:46 AM
dangerousgift 32
I'm going to occupy that bench
Posted by dangerousgift on October 5, 2011 at 10:49 AM
Tingleyfeeln 33
Wait, isn't Cornell an Ivy League school? You know, an education institution of the wealthy elite! So maybe the one world government will not be socialist, but one ruled by the mighiest corporations. Makes more sense to me.
Posted by Tingleyfeeln on October 5, 2011 at 10:52 AM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 34
#17

In the sense that our children is an aggregate noun, the singular might apply.

As in what is our flock learning.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://yrihf.com on October 5, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 35

That Goldwin Smith guy believed in the "abolition of tests" so maybe this is where Cornell students were supposed to end up when they graduated with no grades, no verifiable skills and no jobs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldwin_Smi…
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://yrihf.com on October 5, 2011 at 10:57 AM
36
No, Dano, the neocon gaytard contingent (and not to leave out the Corporate Fascist Lesbians out there) in Seattle truly needs you, son.

Now, what could be a bit more timely (given the Occupytogether going on, etc.) and more topical?

Perhaps to note that the Rainier Tower, sitting on 1301 Fifth Avenue, across from the Fifth Avenue Theater, and on the 25th floor one finds the Greater Seattle Chamber of Commerce, along with their affiliated Trade Alliance, who have worked hard over the past years to destroy the tax base of Seattle (giving seminars to local companies in the way to most efficiently offshore jobs, bring in foreign scab workers, etc.).

And across the street from the GSCC, where the Fifth Avenue Theater sits, up and down the block is mostly empty. A testimonial to the works of the local chamber of commerce.

Now that would be profound, Dano.....
Posted by sgt_doom on October 5, 2011 at 10:59 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 37
I'm pretty sure it says "if you sit on this bench, you'll get hemorrhoids." Little did they know that hemorrhoids are caused by teh ghey buttsecks.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on October 5, 2011 at 11:02 AM
Tingleyfeeln 38
Dan, you should post without double checking more often. Think of it as a rorshach test for Sloggers.
Posted by Tingleyfeeln on October 5, 2011 at 11:04 AM
seandr 39
@36: Thanks for unraveling this vast and diabolical conspiracy. Bonus points if you can link the GSCC to the Masons or Knights Templar.

Posted by seandr on October 5, 2011 at 11:06 AM
40
@#34
"children" is not an aggregate noun, any more than "flock members" is. "Youth" would be, but not "children".
Posted by Warren Terra on October 5, 2011 at 11:15 AM
41
The decoration around the text looks like the mouth of a cartoon shark.
Posted by midwaypete on October 5, 2011 at 11:18 AM
42
GROUP ALERT --- foci on:

80.169.220.10
72.13.32.43
159.125.78.1

thank you for smoking.....
Posted by sgt_doom on October 5, 2011 at 11:29 AM
very bad homo 43
Charles, is that you?
Posted by very bad homo on October 5, 2011 at 11:32 AM
Matt from Denver 44
@ Dan, remember when you once answered a SL letter with "GFE - google fucking exists" ? Although I'm glad this didn't become a permanent part of your lexicon, it was kind of a nice slap upside my head. I've never wallowed in ignorance at what anyone has posted to the web ever since.

@ 5280, speaking of memorable SL letters, I remember an early one where somebody asked if teh ghey buttsecks gave you hemorrhoids. He answered that he had none while his straight father was afflicted with them...
Posted by Matt from Denver on October 5, 2011 at 11:32 AM
45
The bench seemed pretty legible to me and I'm on a smart phone. I was ready to weigh in as a person who sadly can't forget a single dumb thing W said. But thanks @29. That was a job well done. I will add that those who ignore/forget the Bush administration are destined to repeat it.
Posted by Pablo Picasso on October 5, 2011 at 11:53 AM
46
@#45
The second image used to be identical to the first one, as far as I could tell.
Posted by Warren Terra on October 5, 2011 at 12:10 PM
saxfanatic 47
@38: Agreed.
Posted by saxfanatic on October 5, 2011 at 12:13 PM
BEG 48
Freaking hilarious. Of course, I did see this after he corrected the photos. But c'mon, total Bushism, outrageous errors (age of UN) and the notion that being nice to others IZ TEH DREADED SOCIALIZMM!!1!! were all dead giveaways.

Heh.
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on October 5, 2011 at 12:14 PM
OuterCow 49
So anybody got any good ideas on how to design a one world government that's responsive to the people and at least several orders of magnitude less corruptible than the US or the UN?

C'mon peeps, we all should be ashamed that nationalism is not only still around, but still flurishing. Let's get crackin, Slog! We can do this.
Posted by OuterCow on October 5, 2011 at 12:18 PM
OuterCow 50
*flourishing*
Posted by OuterCow on October 5, 2011 at 12:19 PM
kim in portland 51
Sorry, not yet, Outercow. I haven't thought of a way to change human nature or the distribution of natural resources. Too few of us seem to take systemic causes of human suffering really seriously. Unfortunately radix omnium malorum avaritia is an accurate acrostic. I'm fairly convinced that compassion is the answer, that it is within us all, but it often seems that we might require an unwelcome visit from Cylons to shake us as a planet from both our conscious acts of violence upon our fellow humans and to awaken us from the milder forms of violence: judgmentalism; insensitivity; self-centeredness; selfishness; pride; consumption...
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on October 5, 2011 at 1:15 PM
Posted by EricaP on October 5, 2011 at 1:21 PM
53
I posted @52 before I saw @51, but, yeah, the Cylons would do :-)
Posted by EricaP on October 5, 2011 at 1:23 PM
OuterCow 54
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQmz6Rbpn…

This video always gives me hope, hope that if we only rest the power from the oligarchs, we could create a world that fosters the best in us. Most people are good, most people want to help. Already so many millions the world over have united to try and stop climate change, but our governments and the corporations who give them their marching orders continue their vast resources to stymie us as best they can. Climate change could be our alien invasion moment. We don't need the Cylons to bring the species to the edge of extinction if we're going to do it to ourselves after all. :)
Posted by OuterCow on October 5, 2011 at 2:09 PM
55
Ha! I've napped on that bench :)
Posted by colleen c. on October 6, 2011 at 10:02 AM

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