For real.
  • Andy Haynes
  • For real.
It felt good to recognize people when I showed up at the Occupy Wall Street protests on Friday—and, even better, to not recognize the thousands of new faces showing up everyday.

It was my third day in a row of being down there, and the largest and most exciting yet. Spirits were high, especially after everyone heard that Radiohead was due to make an appearance. I had to leave to perform in a comedy show before their appearance happened, which I guess was for the best since in the end the Radiohead stuff turned out to be a total hoax. "It can be difficult to separate rumor from fact in an open source movement," says the official communiqué on the matter.

Good thing you have a comedian to tell you what's really going on. For example, I, Andy Haynes, can confirm that the media seems to have started paying more attention. Or, at least, our neighboring countries are paying more attention—Univision and the CBC were both on hand on Friday. I can also confirm that I'm very excited for today, when a large contingent of labor unions are planning on attending, along with thousands more supporters. Look at me, being completely unapologetically, not cynical. (And not talking about how the "dirty hippies" smell. Sorry about that, guys. Also, remember: I am a comedian, and I will say things that I don't believe in at all, simply because they are ridiculous. Also: I agree, not all hippies stink, but many do, and certainly everybody who lives in a park long enough does. Aaaaalso: I'm a big hygiene guy. Like, a diehard, toothbrushing, deodorant wearing, butt washing dude, and mainly for everyone around me's sake. I find it very inconsiderate when others don't appreciate that. But I forgive you.)

Anyway, this protest ship is really picking up steam, and hopefully it has some eucalyptus oil in said steam, like in the steam rooms those Wall Street guys sit in every night to unwind from a long hard day of raping the world. That's got to be stressful.

By the time you read this, I will be back down at the Saturday protest, enduring the rain, hopefully with thousands of others. I'll let you know what I smell—KIDDING—see.