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News & ArtsFriday, September 16, 2011
LGBTQITSLFA They Are Visible
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Sep 16, 2011 at 7:42 AM
Bisocial Network launches an online video campaign to combat "biphobia and bi-erasure." More info here.
1
A couple things that spring to mind:
1: I never realized there was such a thing as over enunciation before, but now I've seen it in action.
2: Videos seem much more professional if we can't see your arm move to click the mouse and stop the recording right before every cut.
3: This is just maybe an image thing, but... Were bi folks invisible before? I thought that's what the B in LGBT stood for. And as a straight guy who supports gay rights, I figured that when gay marriage and civil rights are established then bi people prosper in the same way as gays do. I mean, if you fall for a person of the other gender and decide to get hitched, you're already set. If you fall for a person of your gender, then once things are settled for gays, you're set too.
This is genuine befuddlement, not an attempt to start an argument. I'm confused, if you're making yourselves visible now, what you were before.
1: I never realized there was such a thing as over enunciation before, but now I've seen it in action.
2: Videos seem much more professional if we can't see your arm move to click the mouse and stop the recording right before every cut.
3: This is just maybe an image thing, but... Were bi folks invisible before? I thought that's what the B in LGBT stood for. And as a straight guy who supports gay rights, I figured that when gay marriage and civil rights are established then bi people prosper in the same way as gays do. I mean, if you fall for a person of the other gender and decide to get hitched, you're already set. If you fall for a person of your gender, then once things are settled for gays, you're set too.
This is genuine befuddlement, not an attempt to start an argument. I'm confused, if you're making yourselves visible now, what you were before.
3
I think this is a fine idea, though I think they missed the opportunity to address "bi-erasure" in the bi community as well.
I'm all for combating the homophobia driven discrimination of bis in the straight community and the incredulity driven biases within the queer community, but any discussion of bi-erasure has to include the fact that a lot of it has to do with bi folks marrying opposite sex partners and disappearing into an assumed-to-be-straight role. I understand the impulse to blend in if you can lead a fufilling life with an opposite sex partner, but every bi person who basically places one half of themselves back in the closet by not being open about their sexuality while partnered is also contributing to "bi-erasure".
I'm all for combating the homophobia driven discrimination of bis in the straight community and the incredulity driven biases within the queer community, but any discussion of bi-erasure has to include the fact that a lot of it has to do with bi folks marrying opposite sex partners and disappearing into an assumed-to-be-straight role. I understand the impulse to blend in if you can lead a fufilling life with an opposite sex partner, but every bi person who basically places one half of themselves back in the closet by not being open about their sexuality while partnered is also contributing to "bi-erasure".
4
As a bisexual woman, I have encountered the attitude from almost all of the men I've dated (starting back in high school) that I couldn't really be bi, and it was just in my head and I'd come around. I can't explain to you how frustrating that is. There's this general assumption that if a girl says she's bi, she's just "experimenting". I have gotten a similar attitude from women occasionally (that I can't really be bi, I must be lesbian, and I just haven't grown up enough to accept that). So yeah, biphobia and bi-erasure are real.
By the way, I married a man who accepts that I'm bi, and has no problem with me occasionally being with women. Not that it's easy to find those women... but I haven't married and "disappeared".
By the way, I married a man who accepts that I'm bi, and has no problem with me occasionally being with women. Not that it's easy to find those women... but I haven't married and "disappeared".
5
Is Dan ill? No snarky comment about bisexual Pitbulls to get the comment thread going for the weekend? I'm concerned.
7
Sound! Sound! Sound! Tip: if you're making a video, and seeking that professional touch, and can't afford a sound man and boom, at least use a clip-on lapel mic. That room echo says, "Cheap, cheap, cheap!"
Yeah, and everything @1 said.
Yeah, and everything @1 said.
8
@1 Actually ... the bisexual and trans communities have been pretty much invisible. Services for the two are lacking, equality ... well for different reasons that's lacking. But the bi's have it pretty tough to because they lack anything to make them stand out, half the time you just don't realize who they are. But here's the thing, as I have witnessed, many people complain that they they choose to be gay or straight. So I can see why they would worry about being invisible. Just because an organization includes something in their name or mission statement, doesn't mean there's anything they can do to help.
10
There's apparently a signed version here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZRmzT-N_…
Although you can't see her sign if you have captions turned on o.O
Bi-erasure and bi-phobia (I think women get more of the erasure and men the phobia, so the latter has been harder for me to spot) are very present and very real. There's a lot of issues packed up in there.
A bi woman is either considered to be experimenting (and will return to the hetero fold soon enough) by the men around her. Or, she will be considered instant game for a ffm threesome (oddly, an mmf is never considered) and pursued on that account. There was a period of time in my life where I didn't tell potential sexual partners I was bi because I was so sick of the instant FFM! FFM! that would light up in so many eyes...
A bi man is quite often rejected as a potential partner by women fearing they'll run off with the next man. Or considered to be "experimenting" by gay men who assume he'll finish the process and come all the way out of the closet as gay eventually. Or he's a faggot anyway and beaten up by het men...ouch.
Although you can't see her sign if you have captions turned on o.O
Bi-erasure and bi-phobia (I think women get more of the erasure and men the phobia, so the latter has been harder for me to spot) are very present and very real. There's a lot of issues packed up in there.
A bi woman is either considered to be experimenting (and will return to the hetero fold soon enough) by the men around her. Or, she will be considered instant game for a ffm threesome (oddly, an mmf is never considered) and pursued on that account. There was a period of time in my life where I didn't tell potential sexual partners I was bi because I was so sick of the instant FFM! FFM! that would light up in so many eyes...
A bi man is quite often rejected as a potential partner by women fearing they'll run off with the next man. Or considered to be "experimenting" by gay men who assume he'll finish the process and come all the way out of the closet as gay eventually. Or he's a faggot anyway and beaten up by het men...ouch.
12
@9, I hate (most commercial) straight porn. There's too much focus on male pleasure, usually to the point that what the girls are doing looks uncomfortable or unstimulating to me, and their expressions of pleasure usually sound fake. Total turn-off. I may be bi, but I'm still a woman. I go for homemade stuff on youporn that's authentic girl on girl (not staged looking), or, more rarely, the straight porn where the guy is actually invested in the pleasure of his partner.
13
Dan, is this being posted in response to all the bi babes who didn't like being in parenthesis on your oral sex quiz? Just curious. Either way, thank you.
But #1 is right. This video needs more polish. I remember when I was marching/street billing/etc with folks on the edges of ACT UP in the late 80's/early 90's in NYC. The gay pride movement had a similarly raggedy, rough-edged approach to them, back then. Maybe if all us bi's who complain about invisibility - as I have - lend support to this & other budding bi-groups/communities, soon we won't have to bitch about sloppy video editing. & plus we'd meet people easier, & stop bitching about discrimination from both straight & gay communities.
Oh! And, after two seconds on the Bi Social Network site, I found a long-ago pal. So at least take a look, bi people.
Hmmm. *brain munching*
But #1 is right. This video needs more polish. I remember when I was marching/street billing/etc with folks on the edges of ACT UP in the late 80's/early 90's in NYC. The gay pride movement had a similarly raggedy, rough-edged approach to them, back then. Maybe if all us bi's who complain about invisibility - as I have - lend support to this & other budding bi-groups/communities, soon we won't have to bitch about sloppy video editing. & plus we'd meet people easier, & stop bitching about discrimination from both straight & gay communities.
Oh! And, after two seconds on the Bi Social Network site, I found a long-ago pal. So at least take a look, bi people.
Hmmm. *brain munching*
15
I hope they achieve the visibility for which they strive. Then they'll be free to turn their attention to audibility. Man, the guitar in that sound mix is overbearing.
16
I read "They Are Visible", looked at the video still, and immediately thought "nah, that top isn't THAT revealing".
17
i WISH they were visible. too bad i gotta make do with some better-than-average cleavage instead.
20
More power to the concept, although it disinclines me to be an enthusiastic ally when I read such statements as:
"she ‘got’ him and he saw the person rather than the parts"
"they each understand that real love is about more than just gender"
I won't call such quotations monophobic, but they're certainly a pretty strong slap in the face.
"she ‘got’ him and he saw the person rather than the parts"
"they each understand that real love is about more than just gender"
I won't call such quotations monophobic, but they're certainly a pretty strong slap in the face.
21
Again, the early gay movement had some clunkers, too. Let me just be happy the site exists for two minutes, okay?
...though I'll guiltily confess as soon as I saw the hot pink, unreadable type against the purple background, & the founder lady's hair improperly clipped out, my Photoshop-lovin' self was having similar thoughts.
...though I'll guiltily confess as soon as I saw the hot pink, unreadable type against the purple background, & the founder lady's hair improperly clipped out, my Photoshop-lovin' self was having similar thoughts.
22
@3:
Yes, but the same thing happens when bisexual folks marry into same-sex relationships too. Unless we're actually seen screwing two people of opposite genders at the same time, noone thinks we're bi.
Not that it's strange or something. It's just a basic assumption everyone makes, without further information. We'd basically have to walk around wearing T-shirts that say "bisexual" all the time to really be recognized as such.
There's also another assumption. That basically, all bisexuals are sluts. Because the only ones they see are the ones on the internet boinking two people of opposite genders at once.
Yes, but the same thing happens when bisexual folks marry into same-sex relationships too. Unless we're actually seen screwing two people of opposite genders at the same time, noone thinks we're bi.
Not that it's strange or something. It's just a basic assumption everyone makes, without further information. We'd basically have to walk around wearing T-shirts that say "bisexual" all the time to really be recognized as such.
There's also another assumption. That basically, all bisexuals are sluts. Because the only ones they see are the ones on the internet boinking two people of opposite genders at once.
25
@13-Eva-I was a part of the early gay/GLBT movement and bisexuals have always been a part of things ever since the start, despite how some people want to revise history or pretend that we were not there.
Dan Savage is biphobic and practices bisexual erasure since for decades he said how male bisexuals don't exist, supported the 2005 Bailey study, and even still in 2011 tells bisexual teens and young adults that they're eventually going to come out as gay/lesbian, and he likes to claim that somehow all bisexuals get involved in opposite gender relationships, and that gay men and lesbians should not have anything to do with having a relationship with a man or woman that's bisexual.
Yes he did write about the 2011 Bailey study but he's still biphobic and still practices bisexual erasure towards us.
Then again Dan's the biggest hypocrite and loves to run his mouth about stuff he knows nothing about which includes human sexuality and bisexuality. ;)
Dan Savage is biphobic and practices bisexual erasure since for decades he said how male bisexuals don't exist, supported the 2005 Bailey study, and even still in 2011 tells bisexual teens and young adults that they're eventually going to come out as gay/lesbian, and he likes to claim that somehow all bisexuals get involved in opposite gender relationships, and that gay men and lesbians should not have anything to do with having a relationship with a man or woman that's bisexual.
Yes he did write about the 2011 Bailey study but he's still biphobic and still practices bisexual erasure towards us.
Then again Dan's the biggest hypocrite and loves to run his mouth about stuff he knows nothing about which includes human sexuality and bisexuality. ;)
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