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Monday, August 29, 2011

Politics / LGBTQITSLFA Psssssst! Hey, You! You There, Reading Slog at Work on Monday Morning! Wanna See an Anti-Gay Republican Senator's Butthole? Sure Ya Do...

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 8:59 AM

Puerto Rican GOP territorial Sen. Roberto Arango voted to ban same-sex marriage, worked on George W. Bush's 2004 re-election campaign, and once called another lawmaker a fag on floor of Puerto Rico's senate. You know what happens next, right?

Arango's excuse for posting pics of himself on gay/bi hookup phone ap Grindr—including one of him bent over, cheeks spread, senatorial asshole winking at the camera—isn't as catchy as "hiking the Appalachian Trail" or "lifting your luggage." Those two were pure poetry. But Arango's excuse is delightful in its own way: Arango wasn't looking to hookup with dudes, he was just documenting his weight loss regimen. ("Why, Senator Arango! Your asshole is looking so slim these days! You simply must share your workout routine with me!")

Have we reached tipping point yet? Shouldn't homophobic politicians and anti-gay bullies be presumed to be gay until they get caught up in a straight sex scandal?

UPDATE: Here's a good roundup of the damage the closeted ex-senator did to other gays and lesbians while he was in office. It seems that every picture ever taken of the senator featured a huge, gaping asshole.

UPDATE 2: We have a winner:

Can we dub posting pictures of your butthole on dating sites a "Puerto Rican Diet Plan"?

Comments (36) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

So is this Sen Arango hot?

Posted by Ken Mehlman on August 29, 2011 at 9:06 AM

I loved this headline. "Puerto Rico senator resigns after Weiner-esque photo scandal."

Posted by Reg on August 29, 2011 at 9:08 AM

GOP. The G stands for goatse.

Posted by Reg on August 29, 2011 at 9:17 AM

Can we dub posting pictures of your butthole on dating sites a "Puerto Rican Diet Plan"?

also: Ai Papi!

Posted by ryanayr on August 29, 2011 at 9:17 AM

I hope the next blow job he gets bites his dick off.

Posted by Vince on August 29, 2011 at 9:20 AM

@4 - Love it!

Posted by MacCrocodile on August 29, 2011 at 9:21 AM

@4 wins!

Posted by Reverse Polarity on August 29, 2011 at 9:31 AM

Weight loss, huh?

Weiner was a class act compared to this :-P (I also noticed Weiner didn't try to claim weight loss in his case, heh).

OK, so how quickly is this asshole going to be railroaded out? I really hope it's not *crickets*...

Posted by BEG

on August 29, 2011 at 9:33 AM

Chu-Ching!

Posted by ryanayr on August 29, 2011 at 9:33 AM

not touching the pictures but appreciate the coverage. what a jerk.

Posted by six five on August 29, 2011 at 9:35 AM

@4, This needs to go to Urban Dictionary post-haste.

Posted by Reg on August 29, 2011 at 9:37 AM

@11 - Nimirum!

also: Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, senator Arango

Posted by ryanayr on August 29, 2011 at 9:46 AM

@4

Normally when somebody comes up with a really good joke, it's called a rimshot!

In this case....well, er....

Posted by Clayton on August 29, 2011 at 9:53 AM

Can't we just call it a diet plan, minus the Puerto Rican? That's awfully long-winded, and kind of bigoted-sounding.

Posted by ghassan on August 29, 2011 at 10:02 AM

I missed you Slog while I was gone. I did think of you all when sitting with the Roma people who beg in St. Peter's Square in my IGB shirt. And in the ruins of Pompeii where the brothel was one of the best preserved buildings and I learned that nearly every building has a penis carved on it has a sign of protection and request for fertility. Specifically I wondered what C.M. would have to say about them?

Posted by kim in portland

on August 29, 2011 at 10:03 AM

Dan, you really should have been listening to Weekday on KUOW this morning. They plugged you and Terry's "It'll Be Alright" project...multiple times...eek!

It was Marcy something-or-another. Though the guest, Armistead Maupin, was wonderful and spoke well of you. Still can't get over the "It'll Be Alright" project, maybe you should change the name.

Posted by miked on August 29, 2011 at 10:04 AM

@14 - Thank you. I was really hoping somebody would pick apart the joke!

Anyway, all the best sex acts have place names in them. It's how you can tell it from just a regular steamer or an ordinary diet plan.

Posted by MacCrocodile on August 29, 2011 at 10:06 AM

Done. We'll see if they post it. Thanks Ryanayr!
Others should post similar @ urbandictionary.com.

Posted by OutInBumF on August 29, 2011 at 10:06 AM

Use caution the next time a dieter wants to show you their before and after photos.

Posted by maddy811 on August 29, 2011 at 10:26 AM

Let's make it Arango Diet Plan as I wouldn't want to disparage all Puerto Ricans.

Posted by ChazRI63 on August 29, 2011 at 10:40 AM

Good lord. Can you imagine the press conference? "It was for my diet plan guys!" *everyone rolls around laughing at him*

Posted by prompt on August 29, 2011 at 10:48 AM

@kim in portland, welcome back! I've been to Pompeii once and had similar reactions to those Roman-style decorations that are usually not discussed in highschool Roman history courses.

@12 -- Ah! Quoties iam te monui!...

Posted by ankylosaur on August 29, 2011 at 11:00 AM

It's not enough to just BE an asshole, he has to show it to everyone.

Posted by very bad homo on August 29, 2011 at 11:15 AM

("Why, Senator Arango! Your asshole is looking so slim these days! You simply must share your workout routine with me!")

LMAO. This made my Monday morning. :)

Posted by Neurotic Cat on August 29, 2011 at 11:40 AM

Instead of "Puerto Rican Diet Plan," how about simply an "Arango"? It can be a verb too, like "goatse." Instead of Rickrolling or goatse-ing your friends, you can Arango them.

Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on August 29, 2011 at 11:43 AM

^^^ I was responding to @14; didn't see @20, sorry.

Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on August 29, 2011 at 11:44 AM

And @15 - welcome back!

Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on August 29, 2011 at 11:46 AM

I think "Arango" is definitely better. As in:

'Yeah, I was texting this guy and I thought he was hot, so I Arangoed him (send him a pic of my asshole) and we hooked up a bit later."

Or

"The guy had a nice face and good enough pecs, but then he Arangoed me, and man, I'm not sticking my dick in that bunch of grapes!"

"Arangoed" is better, shorter, and less likely to flirt with bigotry than "Puerto Rican Diet Plan".

Posted by Hairhead on August 29, 2011 at 12:19 PM

Thank you, ankylosaur. I thought of you specifically in Rome at the Basilica di San Clemente, partly because of the buildings beneath ( 4th century CE church, pagan temple dedicated to Mithras, and 1st century public building) but mostly because amongst the 9th to 11th century frescos there are tributes and frescos to Saints Cyril and Methodius as there is a story that the two brothers began developing the Glagolitic and Cyrillic alphabets upon their return to Rome with the body of Saint Clemente from the Black Sea still with anchor around his neck. We were told Saint Cyril's remains were interred there as well. It would have been interesting to hear your thoughts as well.

Posted by kim in portland

on August 29, 2011 at 12:35 PM

Thank you @ 15.

Posted by kim in portland

on August 29, 2011 at 12:39 PM

Last I heard he was holed up in his mancave.

Posted by Baconcat on August 29, 2011 at 2:03 PM

@30 maybe you mean @27? I'll add my good wishes to the chorus welcoming you back to Slog :-)

Posted by EricaP on August 29, 2011 at 2:58 PM

Yes, I mean @27. One should never Slog when one's body isn't sure what time zone it is in. Thank you too, EricaP.

Posted by kim in portland

on August 29, 2011 at 3:14 PM

QUOTE: Have we reached tipping point yet? Shouldn't homophobic politicians and anti-gay bullies be presumed to be gay until they get caught up in a straight sex scandal?

Answer to Question 1: Yes.
Answer to Question 2: Yes.
I even provided a handy chart - http://tinyurl.com/3ebxgwn

Larry Nocella
p.s. Dan - love your work. Keep it up! Hope u and the fam are well.

Posted by Larry Nocella on August 29, 2011 at 3:27 PM