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News & ArtsFriday, August 26, 2011
Panic / Horrors / Religion / LGBTQITSLFA Allow Me
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Aug 26, 2011 at 2:48 PM
New York legalizes same-sex marriage AND THEN THE CITY OF NEW YORK GETS HIT BY A MASSIVE HURRICANE!!! Something that has never happened before!!! Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO!!!! THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS!!!!!! GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!!!!!! (This, however, is just a dry spell, nothing that a little prayer can't fix. And we shouldn't read anything into this, of course, because it's entirely possible that God meant for that lightning to hit the porn shop directly across the interstate—I mean, we should all know by now what terrible aim God has when he's feeling wrathful.)
1
it's JUST like god to downgrade it from a category five to a category one before it hits NYC so that our guard is down, too. what a dick!
3
You know, DC was never hit by an earthquake during the tax-n-spend liberal years. But then the Tea Party philosophy takes hold, and God's wrath is shown.
I'm just sayin, as the kids like to say.
I'm just sayin, as the kids like to say.
4
So based on this argument, the Japanese should be wondering why the hell God thinks they have anything to do with DADT. This justice is kind of like if your kid didn't something you didn't approve of, like try cocaine or something, so you flew to Spain and punched some other kid in the face. That would show him.
6
@4 - The divine-justice sorts would say Japan is way too secular. God punished them for turning their backs on him.
And if they can't draw that connection, geography isn't always a factor. Sometimes it's because "we" have become "too permissive" which is a call from God to leave Joplin and go hassle some gays and liberals.
And if they can't draw that connection, geography isn't always a factor. Sometimes it's because "we" have become "too permissive" which is a call from God to leave Joplin and go hassle some gays and liberals.
9
Or, it could just be the warm August ocean interacting with the atmosphere to produce a powerful storm through completely natural processes, which then travels along the prevailing wind belts to hit the East Coast through completely natural processes.
11
"First an earthquake, and now a hurricane!"
Well, yeah. Mineral, Virginia takes the epicenter of an earthquake, forcing Homer to have to shut down the local nuke-you-lar power plant, and now another big bible-thumping state, North Carolina, takes the brunt of a monster storm, with Virginia having dibs on getting drowned next.
New York (and the rest of the Northeast, and Atlantic Canada), to be sure, is going to be massively inconvenienced by whatever is left over as this tropical system crosses the Mason-Dixon line, but what gives these shmucks the idea that it's "our" storm?
Is it too late to change the terms of the surrender of the Confederate States? They should be paying reparations, not leeching off our national tax dollars, for the next thousand years, and they shouldn't be allowed to travel off their reservation.
Well, yeah. Mineral, Virginia takes the epicenter of an earthquake, forcing Homer to have to shut down the local nuke-you-lar power plant, and now another big bible-thumping state, North Carolina, takes the brunt of a monster storm, with Virginia having dibs on getting drowned next.
New York (and the rest of the Northeast, and Atlantic Canada), to be sure, is going to be massively inconvenienced by whatever is left over as this tropical system crosses the Mason-Dixon line, but what gives these shmucks the idea that it's "our" storm?
Is it too late to change the terms of the surrender of the Confederate States? They should be paying reparations, not leeching off our national tax dollars, for the next thousand years, and they shouldn't be allowed to travel off their reservation.
12
God's spectacularly bad aim for vengence gets a pass from fundies 'cause it's all about testing their faith, got it?
Allow me to illustrate: if a bolt strikes a heathen, 'it was God's wrath', but if it strays and strikes a believer, 'it was God testing the believer [or his survivors] faith.
Simple, clean and allows for all instances of god's psychotic hissy fits. But remember he loves all people, just not un-repentant fags.
Allow me to illustrate: if a bolt strikes a heathen, 'it was God's wrath', but if it strays and strikes a believer, 'it was God testing the believer [or his survivors] faith.
Simple, clean and allows for all instances of god's psychotic hissy fits. But remember he loves all people, just not un-repentant fags.
13
Ah, God. I met him once, in a pub in Poughkeepsie, while I was doing fieldwork among the locals. After a couple of drinks, he was all sad about how all the people in the world had disappointed him. I told him he had to move on, that life wasn't only about one's own personal happiness, and how he had to make a life for himself, with something else in it other than people who believed in his perfection. But no, he insisted he couldn't be happy unless the whole world knelt down and worshipped him. I shrugged my shoulders and told him he was setting himself up for disappointment. The world isn't like that, having high expectations will only break your heart, etc. But he didn't listen. Last I saw, he was trying to throw darts and not getting even one near bull's eye.
14
Well, I was reading on the internet that the Islamist think the East Coast earthquake was due to Allah's punishment for greedy American capitalist, and the Christians are saying it is God's punishment for marriage equality. Yet God / Allah remains suspiciously silent on the matter.
I'm trying to sort out how these two groups are different from each other. No luck in determining the difference, yet.
I'm trying to sort out how these two groups are different from each other. No luck in determining the difference, yet.
17
"THEN THE CITY OF NEW YORK GETS HIT BY A MASSIVE HURRICANE!!!"
No, dips**t! It's because they lobbied for that godawful debt ceiling legislation (Budget Control Act of 2011), or as I prefer to call it, the Game Over Act, as it effectively recreates the monetary policy back during the early part of the Great Depression, it restricts it so Bernanke doesn't have to bother.
Kills jobs for the foreseeable future, places a barrier to raise taxes on the super-rich -- or rather reinstitute them -- defunds education, environmental safety measures, and will work to either defund or privatize Social Security and Medicare.
That's why Thor, the Thunder God, may wrent destruction upon Wall Street and environs.
(Please get your gods straight, dood!)
No, dips**t! It's because they lobbied for that godawful debt ceiling legislation (Budget Control Act of 2011), or as I prefer to call it, the Game Over Act, as it effectively recreates the monetary policy back during the early part of the Great Depression, it restricts it so Bernanke doesn't have to bother.
Kills jobs for the foreseeable future, places a barrier to raise taxes on the super-rich -- or rather reinstitute them -- defunds education, environmental safety measures, and will work to either defund or privatize Social Security and Medicare.
That's why Thor, the Thunder God, may wrent destruction upon Wall Street and environs.
(Please get your gods straight, dood!)
18
////♥♥♥♥♥♥♥JESUS DOESN'T HATE THE EAST COAST♥♥♥♥♥♥\\\
//////♥♥♥HE JUST WANTS TO HUG IT WITH A WALL OF WATER♥♥♥\\\\\
/////☻☻REPOST IF YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS WATER HUGS☻☻\\\\\
//////♥♥♥HE JUST WANTS TO HUG IT WITH A WALL OF WATER♥♥♥\\\\\
/////☻☻REPOST IF YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS WATER HUGS☻☻\\\\\
21
About God's notorious bad aim: bear in mind that when He flooded New Orleans after Katrina for the decadent sins of that city, the hardest-hit areas were the middle-class neighborhoods where working families and old people lived. The French Quarter (Sin Central) didn't flood at all, and the other areas where gays tended to live and congregate (the Marigny and Uptown) were largely spared as well. The fact that these are also the highest-ground areas in the city is kind of irrelevant; surely God could have made water run uphill and flood out the sinners.
22
Maybe God has good aim after all - after all, Jesus hates hypocrites far more than he hates sexual impropriety:
From Wikipedia:
On the June 8, 1998 edition of his show, Robertson denounced Orlando, Florida and Disney World for allowing a privately sponsored "Gay Days" weekend. Robertson stated that the acceptance of homosexuality could result in hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings and "possibly a meteor."[10] The resulting outcry prompted Robertson to return to the topic on June 24, where he quoted the Book of Revelation to support his claims. The first hurricane of the 1998 Atlantic hurricane season,[11] Hurricane Bonnie, actually turned away from Florida and instead damaged the rest of the east coast. The area hardest hit by the hurricane was the Hampton Roads region,[12] which includes Virginia Beach,[13] where the Robertson's The 700 Club originates.[14] While other hurricanes did hit Florida,[11] none of them hit Disney World.[15]
From Wikipedia:
On the June 8, 1998 edition of his show, Robertson denounced Orlando, Florida and Disney World for allowing a privately sponsored "Gay Days" weekend. Robertson stated that the acceptance of homosexuality could result in hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings and "possibly a meteor."[10] The resulting outcry prompted Robertson to return to the topic on June 24, where he quoted the Book of Revelation to support his claims. The first hurricane of the 1998 Atlantic hurricane season,[11] Hurricane Bonnie, actually turned away from Florida and instead damaged the rest of the east coast. The area hardest hit by the hurricane was the Hampton Roads region,[12] which includes Virginia Beach,[13] where the Robertson's The 700 Club originates.[14] While other hurricanes did hit Florida,[11] none of them hit Disney World.[15]
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