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Thursday, July 28, 2011

At Large Overheard on Kauai

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jul 28, 2011 at 9:31 PM

"It's an animatronic show.* I'm not going to say any more than that. It's animatronic."

* The speaker proceeded to say a great deal more than that.

The show to which the speaker refers is not playing on Kauai. There are shows playing on Kauai, just not animatronic shows. The animatronic show under discussion, which has never played on Kauai (nor will it ever play on Kauai), has been in almost continuous performance since June 23, 1963. But not on Kauai. We could not see this show if we wanted to, as we are on Kauai. The person who has seen this show suggests that it—this animatronic show that we cannot see—is something an audience member needs to be stoned to fully appreciate.

The speaker himself is currently stoned.

Comments (22) RSS

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Kauai is great. Enjoy yourself, Dan and stop in at Caffe Coco. Their ahi sandwich is fucking incredible.

Posted by Mike in Olympia on July 28, 2011 at 9:39 PM

Are you sure you're not stoned too? Cause it sure sounds like it. LOL

I hope you are enjoying Hawaii even if you can't see the animatronic show that you clearly want to see but can't see because it's not playing on Kauai and has never been shown on Kauai even though you'd really like to see it since you are in fact on Kauai.

Posted by despicable me on July 28, 2011 at 9:41 PM

It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on July 28, 2011 at 9:44 PM

Small World? Disneyland?

Rainforest Cafe? Tukwila?

Posted by camlux on July 28, 2011 at 9:45 PM

Given the setting and theme, I'm going with "The Tiki Room".

And the speaker is spot-on.

Posted by Just Jeff

on July 28, 2011 at 9:46 PM

Dan, while you're there, check out a store called Coconut Style, in Kilauea/the Kong Lung Historic Market.
Most beautiful Aloha shirts, ever. Nothing goofy there, just pure island artistry.
Have a good time in chill Kauai.

Posted by Well-deserved vacation!!! on July 28, 2011 at 9:53 PM

Moloa'a Sunrise Fruit Stand, Anahola; Limahuli Gardens; and Ha'ena Beach at sunset. Also, are half the tourists there from Seattle during the summer, too?

Posted by Mahalo on July 28, 2011 at 10:06 PM

It really is a lovely animatronic show. Since you just have to see it, I'm including it for you here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhApjPASb…

Warning: you will not be able to stop singing this for a few hours.

Posted by despicable me on July 28, 2011 at 10:13 PM

yes, the tiki room. too bad disney doesn't sell booze.

Posted by scary tyler moore

on July 28, 2011 at 10:14 PM

The place to go on Kauai is either side of the impassible Na Pali bit in the northwest -- Polihale Beach, longest and widest beach anywhere (far end of the ring road counterclockwise) or the far end clockwise, at Ha'ena Park, where the brightly colored fishies will nibble at your legs as you wade. Go in the caves if you dare. If you have the bucks, take the helicopter ride up the Na Pali and into the crater, wettest place on earth, the canyon will blow your ever-lovin' mind. C'mon, you have the bucks, it's like $200 a person and you will never forget it.

Posted by Fnarf

on July 28, 2011 at 11:02 PM

Not being a fan of heights (no copter rides for me), my favorite splurge outing on Kauai is a Na Pali catamaran tour with a stop off the coast of Ni'ihau for snorkling. It's fantastic!

Posted by Cori on July 28, 2011 at 11:26 PM

Hit a farmers market or two. Simply amazing fruit.

I really liked the inner tube float through the irrigation tunnels.

Posted by tomma on July 28, 2011 at 11:43 PM

Forget the rest of Hawaii, it is a theme park. Kauai is the only place you need to go to slow down (lots of activities, true) but pretty much zero bullshit.
I love the fact that zoning laws there allow no building over 3 stories.
LOVE Kauai!

Posted by fotoeve on July 29, 2011 at 1:16 AM

Dan's Post = humble brag

Posted by davidcon on July 29, 2011 at 10:32 AM

"It's the BEAR necessities, those humble BEAR necessities... "

Posted by Timrrr on July 29, 2011 at 10:54 AM

If you're on Kauai, I hope you've managed to head up to the northernmost beach you can drive up to (going north counter clockwise). Also, the helicopter rides that go over the wettest spot on earth (>365" of rain a year)? And Waimea Canyon! Oh, and a boat out to see the Na Pali coast! And...

(Well you can tell I've been to Kauai, eh? My favorite island...)

Posted by BEG

on July 29, 2011 at 11:10 AM

Wow, Dan is high and on Kauai -- envy!
Enjoy the forest, wildlife (pigs and chickens), and beach!

Posted by andie on July 29, 2011 at 11:27 AM

If you're on the east side, hit the Pono Market in Kapaa (it's a little deli/takeout shop. Heading north on Kuhio, on the right just before the shopping center, next to a ukulele store) that I sweat to God is the best food on Kauai. Pulled pork, lau lau, fried chicken, and a random assortment of the best sushi I had there.

Posted by Dougsf on July 29, 2011 at 12:26 PM

Reminds me of Oliver Stone Land, from the old Ben Stiller show. Not one of their best parodies (I prefer "Manson" and "Cape Munster"), but it did incorporate animatronics and Oliver Stone(d).

Posted by Functional Atheist on July 29, 2011 at 12:33 PM

Yes, don't forget Waimea Canyon! Especially if you want some decidedly un-Seattleish weather.

Posted by emma's bee on July 29, 2011 at 2:52 PM

Ok. This one really threw me for a while. I'm so focussed on how repulsed I am with very animatronic-ish Speaker Boehner, that I assumed that "* The speaker proceeded to say a great deal more than that," was referring to him. I wondered what he was referring to and searched for "Animatronic Boehner".

Nothing.

But searching for "animatronic hawaii" unearthed this astonishing gem:

http://www.teddybearworldhawaii.com/inde…

"prehistoric teddybears"!!

Dan, it's in Honolulu, so you can probably stop in before your flight back to the mainland.

Posted by GasparFagel on July 31, 2011 at 7:44 AM

Hi Dan, my wife and I were on Kaua'i in late July for our honeymoon. Did you happen to hike the Honopu Ridge Trail on July 25th? I thought that one of the members of a group we passed on our hike out looked exactly like you.

If so how was the hike? When we got to the end of the trail the valley was filled with clouds, but they lifted for about half an hour. It started raining on us on the way out. Were you able to make t to the end of the trail?

Posted by EVD on August 8, 2011 at 8:32 AM