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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dead Man Found in Bank's Chimney

Posted by on Wed, Jul 27, 2011 at 12:06 PM


Skeletal remains found in the chimney of a bank in the US state of Louisiana have been identified as those of a man who has been missing for 27 years.

The bones, which forensics said belonged to Joseph W Schexnider, were discovered by workers in May after the Bank of Abbeville began renovations.

Schexnider, who vanished at the age of 22 in 1984...

The bones of the young man were found with gloves and a cigarette lighter. These were the bones of a man who starved to death. He starved because he was stuck in the chimney. He was in the chimney because he wanted to rob the bank. Banks are robbed because they hold money. And money makes the world go round. The young man probably lived for days in that chimney.


Comments (17) RSS

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Banna 1
If he was stuck, he probably suffocated before he starved.

Note to self; carry a whistle or a cell phone next time I try to crawl down a bank's chimney.

Oh, and physics makes the world go round.
Posted by Banna on July 27, 2011 at 12:32 PM · Report this
And without water he would have lasted a couple of days, not weeks.
Posted by unpaid reader on July 27, 2011 at 12:36 PM · Report this
Depending on the temperature, a person can live up to 10 days without water.
Posted by meks on July 27, 2011 at 12:39 PM · Report this
I dunno Charles. I'd venture to guess it was about 127 hours or so.
Posted by Punditwatch on July 27, 2011 at 12:41 PM · Report this
Dougsf 5
Poor guy, didn't even stop to think there isn't a lot of money laying around a bank after hours.
Posted by Dougsf on July 27, 2011 at 12:42 PM · Report this
He may have not suffocated, depending on how he was stuck and the ventilation, but he absolutely would have died of thirst before starvation.

It's fascinating and wonderful that skeletal remains that would have simply been a mystery before, can now be definitively identified as belonging to a specific missing individual. Science, fuck yeah.
Posted by Zuulabelle on July 27, 2011 at 12:43 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 7
no one smelled anything? and "Schexnider"?
Posted by Max Solomon on July 27, 2011 at 1:03 PM · Report this
3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, and 3 weeks without food is what I've heard will kill you
Posted by six five on July 27, 2011 at 1:10 PM · Report this
seandr 9
Money isn't the only reason people die in chimneys.
Posted by seandr on July 27, 2011 at 1:13 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 10
Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that a bank has a chimney?
Posted by keshmeshi on July 27, 2011 at 1:30 PM · Report this
merry 11
That bank building has to be hella haunted....
Posted by merry on July 27, 2011 at 1:43 PM · Report this
sikandro 12
@8 There are quite a few documented cases in recent history of people surviving to 40 or so days without food. Irish prison hunger strikes, for instance...
Posted by sikandro on July 27, 2011 at 1:50 PM · Report this
Louisiana is a generally hot and humid place. It can be a bit chilly for a couple months in winter, but other than that, I would think death through dehydration wouldn't take more than a few days.

I remember vividly the Brooklyn summer when a stray, medium-sized dog was killed in traffic and landed on a street corner, and between agency jurisdictions. Neither Animal Control nor Sanitation would pick it up. Hundreds of people cross that corner hourly, and the carcass lay there for over 2 weeks, decomposing. It was gag-inducing for hundreds of feet in all directions, and impossible not to notice.

I'm baffled by the lack of olfactory sensation and/or a scintilla of curiousity in that part of Louisiana.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on July 27, 2011 at 2:36 PM · Report this
@7, @13, You've clearly never spent any time in Louisiana if you think one lousy corpse is gonna make enough of a stink to notice over the persistent background stink of a subtropical swamp filled with refineries and papermills.

Seriously. Dead body funk doesn't even register unless it's multiples. I grew up down there.
Posted by lousyanna on July 27, 2011 at 6:30 PM · Report this
Sandiai 15
@9 I was reminded of stalker-woman (and a doctor) who suffocated in ex-boyfriend's chimney, wedged tightly within a few feet of the floor.

Boyfriend saw her pull up in his driveway and snuck out the back door to stay with a friend (so the house was empty). Neighbors heard a soft wheezy cry for help but did not investigate.…

Posted by Sandiai on July 27, 2011 at 10:06 PM · Report this
Sandiai 16
14, I agree that Louisiana is a richly olfactory place (I lived there for many years too), but the fireplace was barricaded off and had crap piled in front of it, so that probably made a bigger difference (and also shows the poor planning on Schexnider's part).

Also, BBC, several reports had him at different ages than 22.
Posted by Sandiai on July 27, 2011 at 10:15 PM · Report this
The skeletal remnants of a male were found in a bank chimney in Abbeville, Louisiana last May. Recently the remnants were identified. They belong to a man who went missing 27 years back and it i said that the man tried to rob the bank. Maybe he didn't manage very well to climb the chimney that's why he got stuck there until his last breath. If the male got a personal loan, he could not have attempted to rob a bank.
Posted by patrickV on August 1, 2011 at 9:33 PM · Report this

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