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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Books / Retail Borders Customer Bingo

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Jul 26, 2011 at 8:15 AM

Over the weekend, I stopped by a Borders to see how the liquidation was going. It was pretty low-key (of course, most of the books in the store are 10% off right now, which means that some of the liquidation discounts are actually lower than the pre-liquidation discounts) but you can already tell that the vultures are circling. Knowing what kind of people bargain basement sales attract, I expect to see some real pieces of work picking apart the Borders corpse over the next few weeks. And Twitterer Borders Employee has shared a Borders Customer Bingo card created by booksellers who are anxiously waiting for the dregs of humanity to arrive:

Click to Enlarge

Comments (19) RSS

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Borders employees are proving themselves dregs of humanity by putting their name on this.

Posted by suddenlyorcas on July 26, 2011 at 8:24 AM

Holy bingo nights, those truly are some dregs of humanity. Throwing books at employees? Jesus.

Posted by riot gorl on July 26, 2011 at 8:25 AM

If I had money, and the discount was low enough, I'd be three of those spots: 20 or more books, 3 or more sex books, and all the Twilight DVDs.

Posted by TheMisanthrope on July 26, 2011 at 8:35 AM

Sounds like just another day of working retail.

Posted by Been there, done that, still have the nightmares on July 26, 2011 at 8:53 AM

Hey suddenlyorcas@1, FU. You've never worked retail have you? You're that d-bag who I can't get out of the store 45 minutes past closing on Christmas Eve, right? The one who gets mad when I can't tell them the title of, "that book...you know, the cover is white and it was on The View." The jerk who not only takes a book into the bathroom to read, but leaves it in the stall. Yeah, I'm talking to you, pal.

It's been the early 90s since I worked a Borders gig. Most of the customers and my co-workers were pleasant, but I saw ridiculous shit that I still can't believe today. So try not to be such a dick when people in retail need to blow off some steam, fercrissakes.

Posted by Mr. Happy Sunshine on July 26, 2011 at 8:56 AM

@5, I feel you. When I worked in bookstores long ago, I prided myself on being able to successfully direct customers in search of "that book, it's red, with a dragon on the front, I think it was on Donahue" to the item they sought (which was blue, had a bird on the front, and was on Carson). We had plenty of "Bingo!" moments that made me hate humanity -- low points included the guy who brought the sex books into the children's section and left them on the shelves, and me having to clean LUMPS OF HUMAN SHIT off the walls in the women's bathroom.

Posted by Fnarf

on July 26, 2011 at 9:01 AM

I went down to Borders this weekend but I feel better about myself for not fulfilling any of these categories!

All the employees I talked to were very nice.

Posted by sikandro on July 26, 2011 at 9:09 AM

How about a space for those not at all enticed by the discounts because who wants a physical book anymore?

Posted by giffy on July 26, 2011 at 9:09 AM

This says about everything that you need to know about the average American consumer.

And I worked in the hotel industry when I was younger...trust me this is exactly how the public at large behaves towards employees in retail or hospitality

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on July 26, 2011 at 9:21 AM

Sounds like just another day when I worked at the Value Village. Ahh, memories.

Posted by More, I Say! on July 26, 2011 at 9:50 AM

We had similar situations when working the "It-Only-Happens-Twice-A-Year-Sale" at IKEA. That job could actually be fun, but you also got your fill of the nasty/crazy side of people.

Posted by But I am le tired on July 26, 2011 at 10:05 AM

@5 & @6: Thank you. That jerk @1 is all that and more. And @6, everything you said I have experienced in my days as a bookseller, except the shit was in the men's room--it is pee in the ladies room. You know, the crazies who won't put their rear on the toliet seat (even with the provided free covers) so they hover and spray their pee all over the seat AND THEN WALK OUT AND LEAVE IT THAT WAY.

Seriously, working retail just about destroys your faith in mankind...and just when you're about to snap, some customer comes in and does something so sweet and unexpected that you keep going. Mankind isn't fucked, but there are plenty of fuckers (@1).

Posted by Bugnroolet on July 26, 2011 at 11:12 AM

I spent probably 10 years in customer service, but the most depressing experience I ever had was hosting my (first and only) yard sale before leaving town. I caught people snooping in my backyard an hour early, got yelled at for not having baby clothes, had people haggle with me over 25 cents on shit I was pretty much giving away. These days, if I can't sell it for something worthwhile, I just donate everything.

It's not economics, class, social status—any of that. A potential bargain will attract a certain type of crazy.

Posted by Dougsf on July 26, 2011 at 12:46 PM

You know how some countries have mandatory military service? There needs to be mandatory retail service.

Posted by Wicked Virgin

on July 26, 2011 at 12:56 PM

@14: YES, exactly. I started thinking years ago that I could never be friends with anyone who had never worked a service industry job.

Posted by Re. on July 26, 2011 at 1:39 PM

@14 - Before I can support that, I'll need a provision that training for those jobs is done by the military. Retail employees can be bad enough when they're not required by law to serve out a sentence. I know I would have been a more helpful employee if I'd had the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket screaming in my face about how to look up inventory.

Posted by MacCrocodile on July 26, 2011 at 2:23 PM

@14,

You know those people who treat service workers like shit? Do you really want them "helping" you when you're trying to buy a product or service?

Posted by keshmeshi on July 26, 2011 at 3:37 PM

@almost all of you. Seriously? If you've never worked in retail before, then you have no idea what it's like to work your butt off every single day, catering to people that have absolutely no respect for you, and being expected to deal with EVERYTHING with a smile, all while working for minimum wage, or maybe a little bit more. Take your complaining and shove it. Let's give a little bit more thought to the fact that 11,000 people are losing their jobs, and the impact that's going to have. Maybe some of you should have bought a book before it 10% off, saving you all of twenty cents, and these people would still have jobs. I'd also like everyone to give five cents of thought to the idea that when you deal with a "bad" employee, that they are Freaking human, and everyone has a bad day, or is dealing with things you don't know about, or that maybe, just MAYBE, you're the one that was wrong. Thumbs up to the Borders employees that are at least having a little bit of fun and making the torture that is liquidation a little bit more enjoyable before they all join the unemployment lines.

Posted by justincase on July 29, 2011 at 8:49 PM

I hate to admit this, but I would be the customer who cried because I would be sad the store is closing and feel bad for the employees. Also, I probably wouldn't buy 20 or more books, but I could see myself buying 5-6 easily. Hell, I used to do that on a normal day.

Posted by eris404 on August 2, 2011 at 10:08 AM