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News & ArtsMonday, July 18, 2011
2012 / Politics / LGBTQITSLFA Marcus Bachmann Is Completely Heterosexual
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Jul 18, 2011 at 4:20 PM
A completely heterosexual man who can really pull an outfit together:
Before Vice President Dick Cheney's visit this past summer, Bachmann's husband, Marcus, hit the stores—"he's got a good sense of style"—and came home with "a sleek, simple hourglass dress with a yoke collar! in winter white." He even bought a matching coat and shoes. "I just slipped it on."
"[Plenty] of Republican voters can relate to hoping Jesus comes back real soon," writes Alex Pareene at Salon, "but how many GOP husbands out there would be able to buy their wives full outfits—that match and fit properly—on anything resembling short notice?"
My husband's husband couldn't do that on short, intermediate, or long notice.
1
Dan, I just posted this on the last bachmann thread, but it bears repeating--imagine: Our first gay president (or power behind the president). Bachmann 2012!
2
My dad can't. He still has me go with him when he buys mom clothes... It's a wonder I stayed in the closet so long.
5
I once bought a girlfriend a pair of jeans that fit her perfectly. She'd taken me into the store I got'em at a few times before, so the salesgirl remembered her and guided my purchase. Still, it was quite the coup.
12
Dan,
I think he chose white so she wouldn't stand out against the snow when you train your hunting rifle on them.
I think he chose white so she wouldn't stand out against the snow when you train your hunting rifle on them.
13
I think my husband could do that. I mean, a dress, a coat and shoes isn't that big a deal. He'd probably overestimate my shoe size, but still, he'd get pretty close.
14
Well, I hate to rain on this parade... but Nancy Pelosi's husband does all her clothes shopping at Armani... so do we also go after him too?
If my husband buys me a Hermes' scarf is he gay?
Really just jumping all over ourselves in the stereotype pool aren't we.
I mean I hate everything she says and what she stands for but rilly, rilly with this..it's cheap.
They ARE "gifters and scumbags".. lets just leave it there.
If my husband buys me a Hermes' scarf is he gay?
Really just jumping all over ourselves in the stereotype pool aren't we.
I mean I hate everything she says and what she stands for but rilly, rilly with this..it's cheap.
They ARE "gifters and scumbags".. lets just leave it there.
15
Reminds me of Corky St. Clair in "Waiting for Guffman" talking about his wife Bonnie and how he makes all her clothes.
18
He is so straight!! I bet he tries on her panties for her...
If those two fuckers can dish it out - and they really dish it out and we reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly have no choice but take it year in and year from these assholes - then they better bend the fuck over and take it.
Marcus clearly Fs Shelly in the A just like Peter Allen F'ed Liza in A - yoke collar or no yoke collar.
We are NOT obligated to be more gracious than supremacist shitfaced snake oil selling whores.
If those two fuckers can dish it out - and they really dish it out and we reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly have no choice but take it year in and year from these assholes - then they better bend the fuck over and take it.
Marcus clearly Fs Shelly in the A just like Peter Allen F'ed Liza in A - yoke collar or no yoke collar.
We are NOT obligated to be more gracious than supremacist shitfaced snake oil selling whores.
28
I was disgusted by the fact that this is the most news worthy subject the Chicago Tribune had to write about. Then I saw that this is from 2006. Can we move on yet?
Incidentally, nothing about Bachmann could be described as having 'snap'.
Incidentally, nothing about Bachmann could be described as having 'snap'.
31
@1 - As long as we're counting closet cases, James Buchanan and William King have Bachmann beat by more than 150 years.
32
@21 and 26: Of course she knows that he "would" be gay, but he has "chosen" to be straight. The devil tempts him daily, but he resists, and Michelle is his greatest strength and cheerleader. He's straight! He sired 5 children! And so can you, if you just pray away the gay (and find an upstanding woman to uphold your struggle and put up with shitty sex in order to have children.) See? Easy!!
33
Dude - seriously?
There's plenty of stuff to hate Bachman for (see Bill Maher's recent "Why People Hate Palin and Bachman" rant. Why the attacks on her husband? Especially this kind of attack on stereotypical queer male behavior?
There's plenty of stuff to hate Bachman for (see Bill Maher's recent "Why People Hate Palin and Bachman" rant. Why the attacks on her husband? Especially this kind of attack on stereotypical queer male behavior?
37
This is getting ridiculous. Yes they are all stereotypes but really; if you saw a big white guy in overalls and a checkered shirt, with a mullet, a deep southern drawl, a pickup truck with a gun rack and a confederate flag bumpersticker blasting Ted Nugent on the radio, you could be forgiven for raising an eyebrow if he claimed to be Kennebunkport, and you'd have to be superhuman not to giggle if he went off on a rant about those "damn rednecks".
My gaydar is broken at this point. If his cellphone goes off and "Born this way" is heard, I'll just assume he's an SNL plant.
My gaydar is broken at this point. If his cellphone goes off and "Born this way" is heard, I'll just assume he's an SNL plant.
39
I say give Marcus Bachmann a rest. First of all, the Bachmanns are a smoke screen; they're not worth too much effort.
Second, if he chooses a life of denial, it's his choice. I'm not saying the homophobic rhetoric and reparative therapy shenanigans aren't reprehensible. They are. But it's not productive to attack his personal choices as proxies for his homophobic agenda. Acting faggy doesn't really make him a hypocrite. You might even say it's consistent with his argument that a person can stuff ten pounds of gay into a five-pound sack if he wants to.
Whatevr. He may comport himself like a boob, but only the rhetoric needs to be called down.
Second, if he chooses a life of denial, it's his choice. I'm not saying the homophobic rhetoric and reparative therapy shenanigans aren't reprehensible. They are. But it's not productive to attack his personal choices as proxies for his homophobic agenda. Acting faggy doesn't really make him a hypocrite. You might even say it's consistent with his argument that a person can stuff ten pounds of gay into a five-pound sack if he wants to.
Whatevr. He may comport himself like a boob, but only the rhetoric needs to be called down.
42
Danny,
After confessing your hot lustful desires for Rick Santorum on Maher's show have you heard from the Senator?
Will it be a threeway with Terri?
don't be stingy.....
After confessing your hot lustful desires for Rick Santorum on Maher's show have you heard from the Senator?
Will it be a threeway with Terri?
don't be stingy.....
43
While picking on Marcus Bachmann's effeminate behavior does bother me, I also accept Dan's argument that it's morally justified because of his ex-gay camp. However, if we gave as many blog inches to Michele's idiocy, or even to the actual ex-gay practices Marcus was using, she wouldn't be polling so goddamn high. Just saying, taking the mickey out of a lisping homophobe may not be the best use of our time.
44
For the gay stereotype police, I think it must be reiterated that the most damning evidence is that this man has spent his professional life--against the scientific consensus of his own field--psychologically damaging gay men. (And notice, gay men seem to be much more in need of curing at these places than lesbians for some reason. Hmmm. Misogyny is never that far away from homophobia.).
The heinousness of how he's spent his life means that it's TOTALLY fair game to hit him where he lives, terrified of that queen within who's just dying to skip down that gay yellow brick road.
If you accept yourself for who you are, these kind of jibes would have no effect. Instead, try to imagine hating yourself so much that you spend your life trying to spiritually destroy other people.
To me, that dude needs to be reminded of who he is at every turn, not for vicious fun, but to spare his future clients and to offer him a hope for his own redemption (even though I personally don't think he deserves it).
Did you every notice? The insults that hurt you most are the ones that have truth in them.
The heinousness of how he's spent his life means that it's TOTALLY fair game to hit him where he lives, terrified of that queen within who's just dying to skip down that gay yellow brick road.
If you accept yourself for who you are, these kind of jibes would have no effect. Instead, try to imagine hating yourself so much that you spend your life trying to spiritually destroy other people.
To me, that dude needs to be reminded of who he is at every turn, not for vicious fun, but to spare his future clients and to offer him a hope for his own redemption (even though I personally don't think he deserves it).
Did you every notice? The insults that hurt you most are the ones that have truth in them.
46
Yes, it is a bit curious that people worry more about using stereotypes to frame Bachmann than about Bachmann himself.
And a curious thing: simply mentioning the stereotypes isn't bad. Dan isn't -- nor is anyone else -- that if Bachman has features frequent among gay people, then it's a bad thing. It's all in the implicit knowledge (that isn't being said in Dan's texts -- notice he's being careful with that) that, if someone has gay features, then that's bad.
In this case, one can point out that it's funny that an anti-gay guy should have stereotypical/frequent gay features in and of itself. One can very much be against all the implicit 'badness' of being gay while pointing this out.
Is this sufficient to justify Dan's approach, or are people still offended at what they see as his 'bullying'?
(Think of what you would say if Dan were providing some other circumstancial, non-conclusive-but-suggestive evidence of hypocritical behavior by some person -- say, that while they claimed to be honest, they did fraudulent things; or that they claim to be religious while doing things that go against their religion's tenets; and so on. How would you feel about Dan then?)
And a curious thing: simply mentioning the stereotypes isn't bad. Dan isn't -- nor is anyone else -- that if Bachman has features frequent among gay people, then it's a bad thing. It's all in the implicit knowledge (that isn't being said in Dan's texts -- notice he's being careful with that) that, if someone has gay features, then that's bad.
In this case, one can point out that it's funny that an anti-gay guy should have stereotypical/frequent gay features in and of itself. One can very much be against all the implicit 'badness' of being gay while pointing this out.
Is this sufficient to justify Dan's approach, or are people still offended at what they see as his 'bullying'?
(Think of what you would say if Dan were providing some other circumstancial, non-conclusive-but-suggestive evidence of hypocritical behavior by some person -- say, that while they claimed to be honest, they did fraudulent things; or that they claim to be religious while doing things that go against their religion's tenets; and so on. How would you feel about Dan then?)
47
@44 Wow, talk about completely missing my point.
No, calling someone gay isn't inherently an insult.
Calling a socially dangerous closet-case nut job "gay" is merely naming the problem--the reason why he's devoted his life to damaging other people. The insult, in that case, is in the eye of the gay beholder.
I have no problem with his being gay. HE DOES. And he's devoted his entire life to suppressing it in himself and then in others.
Geesh.
No, calling someone gay isn't inherently an insult.
Calling a socially dangerous closet-case nut job "gay" is merely naming the problem--the reason why he's devoted his life to damaging other people. The insult, in that case, is in the eye of the gay beholder.
I have no problem with his being gay. HE DOES. And he's devoted his entire life to suppressing it in himself and then in others.
Geesh.
48
How is Bachmann a hypocrite?
He seems to believe that anyone, no matter how swishy or effeminate, can control themselves and function as a heterosexual.
His life seems to be a testimonial to the validity of his beliefs.
And his work seems to be a natural for someone with his experiences and beliefs.
How are his life's experiences and the conclusions he draws from them any less valid than the conclusions Dan draws from his life?
Why is Dan's anecdotal take on homosexuality any more valid than Bachmann's?
Why is Dan free to bully and force HIS view of homosexuality on others but Bachmann is condemned for offering counseling that reflects his beliefs and experiences?
He seems to believe that anyone, no matter how swishy or effeminate, can control themselves and function as a heterosexual.
His life seems to be a testimonial to the validity of his beliefs.
And his work seems to be a natural for someone with his experiences and beliefs.
How are his life's experiences and the conclusions he draws from them any less valid than the conclusions Dan draws from his life?
Why is Dan's anecdotal take on homosexuality any more valid than Bachmann's?
Why is Dan free to bully and force HIS view of homosexuality on others but Bachmann is condemned for offering counseling that reflects his beliefs and experiences?
49
@48 Your argument is flawed because you are presuming Bachmann is presenting a "legitimate" view on homosexuality. He's not presenting a legitimate view-"hi folks, I'm really gay but I think I should hide that in myself and then beat it out of others"--he's pretending both his own life and his MEDICAL practice are "above board." His life is a lie. His marriage is a lie. His career is a lie--and his career does real harm to people.
That level of denial isn't just unhealthy, it's pathological. Rendering his lack of integrity and self-hatred a "lifestyle choice" is just an absurd argument.
And what is Dan "forcing" on anyone by disagreeing and mocking? That argument's equally absurd. If you don't agree with him, disagree or stop reading him altogether.
That level of denial isn't just unhealthy, it's pathological. Rendering his lack of integrity and self-hatred a "lifestyle choice" is just an absurd argument.
And what is Dan "forcing" on anyone by disagreeing and mocking? That argument's equally absurd. If you don't agree with him, disagree or stop reading him altogether.
50
@10- I thought a yoke collar was specifically a pony play thing because I've actually helped yoke a team of actual horses so it just seemed natural that if you put one on a human there'd be yards of leather straps, a crop and blinders involved.
51
I really think he's fucking with us. Doing all these flamboyantly gay things to get people going, and then acting all innocent victim. See, all these nasty queers are being meeean!
52
I am kind of disappointed. One of the takeaways of the past 15 or so years of the gay rights movement (for me) is that a person is not so defined by their sexuality. Who cares if Bachmann has an effeminite lisp or dresses a certain way? One can easily be offended by Bachman's politics; but it really rattles me to see people I respect brazenly, openly, and unapologetically take the low-road [I thought that was reserved for R's]
57
This is going to sound heretical, I realize, but I have to admit, Marcus Bachmann doesn't set off my gaydar quite as much as he does for a lot of people (including Dan, obviously). Sure, I see some slightly femme mannerisms, I hear a slight lisp. But it's not THAT exaggerated.
A lot of Christian men are kind of invested in a non-macho persona - the whole gently avuncular thing that comes with feeling like the Lord has all the power, you're just here to witness, etc. I think M.B. is caught up in all that. If I had to guess, I'd say he's basically straight - at most he's a straight-identified bi in denial.
Of course, I am just guessing. And he's still a douche - no argument there.
A lot of Christian men are kind of invested in a non-macho persona - the whole gently avuncular thing that comes with feeling like the Lord has all the power, you're just here to witness, etc. I think M.B. is caught up in all that. If I had to guess, I'd say he's basically straight - at most he's a straight-identified bi in denial.
Of course, I am just guessing. And he's still a douche - no argument there.
58
@39: The Bachmanns are worth the effort because Michelle has a very good chance of winning the Republican nomination, and Obama will be weak in 2012. Of course, you could make the argument that Obama has a better chance of beating Michelle than Romney, and so we should be building her up, but that's playing with fire if the economy gets any worse.
59
Of course the Bachmanns are worth the effort. The problem is, for all that "effort," this crap is the best you people can come up with?! Geesh.
60
@57: Eh, there's being meek and being a Christian submissive, sure. But someone with a mincing personality whose fulltime job is to run a "gay-cure" operation?
62
I agree wit h Bill Maher when he answered the question "Could a Michelle Bachman or Sarah Palin character be elected?" and he responds
Yes, sure, absolutely.
Crazy eyes is dangerous. And Gross.
And will someone please tell these broads that Hillary OWNS the pantsuit, to please switch it up a bit.
Yes, sure, absolutely.
Crazy eyes is dangerous. And Gross.
And will someone please tell these broads that Hillary OWNS the pantsuit, to please switch it up a bit.
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