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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Fill in the Blanks: "Family values politician caught ____________ with a _________."

Posted by on Thu, Jul 7, 2011 at 10:14 AM

Slog tipper Roz sent this along:

Screen_shot_2011-07-07_at_10.08.48_AM.png
One of [Ohio's draconian anti-abortion] heartbeat bill’s staunch advocates is Ohio Rep. Robert Mecklenborg, a Catholic from Cincinnati who represents western Hamilton County. Mecklenborg loved the bill so much he was one of its nearly 50 co-sponsors. In fact, he led the fight to get it passed. He is all about family you see: he is a married father of three.

So, let's play fill-in-the-blank! Robert Mecklenborg was caught ______________ with a _____________. His blood tested positive for ___________.

If your imagination is taking you to dark places and you just want to be done imagining the horrible things a family values candidate does in his spare time, the answer (and link to the story, which has a spoilerific headline) is after the jump.

The correct answer: Mecklenborg was caught driving intoxicated with a 26-year-old stripper in the passenger's seat. His blood tested positive for Viagra.

Shockingly, the stripper in Mecklenborg's car was a woman.

 

Comments (19) RSS

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Betsy Ross 1
Jumping rope with a bishop.
Posted by Betsy Ross on July 7, 2011 at 10:17 AM · Report this
2
Shockingly, the stripper in Mecklenborg's car was a woman.

Hey, maybe no one told him about the whole "choice" thing.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on July 7, 2011 at 10:18 AM · Report this
LogopolisMike 3
"Shockingly, the stripper in Mecklenborg's car was a woman."

I'm not sure if it's so shocking. He was probably trying to fuck the gay away -- that's what he needed the Viagra for.
Posted by LogopolisMike http://logopolis.typepad.com on July 7, 2011 at 10:19 AM · Report this
gttim 4
Just trying to inject a little Jesus into a heathen!
Posted by gttim on July 7, 2011 at 10:21 AM · Report this
very bad homo 5
I'm sure he was just driving her to church!
Posted by very bad homo on July 7, 2011 at 10:28 AM · Report this
6
Hahahaha! Though I was happy to help fund the ACLU's successful battle against public release of booking mugshots in our own state, still - that Ohio photo is fantastic.
Posted by gloomy gus on July 7, 2011 at 10:31 AM · Report this
rob! 7
Now I can't stop saying the deliciously Viking name of that PoliticusUSA correspondent: "Hrafnkell Haraldsson." "Hrafnkell Haraldsson." "Hrafnkell Haraldsson." "Hrafnkell Haraldsson." "Hrafnkell Haraldsson..."
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on July 7, 2011 at 10:34 AM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 8
_with his pants around his ankles_
_sheep dressed as Cher_
_amyl nitrate_

What do I win?
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on July 7, 2011 at 10:39 AM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 9
Well, now I've looked at the story. I like mine better.

(Since when do tox screens include Viagra?)
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on July 7, 2011 at 10:41 AM · Report this
emma's bee 10
@9: that was the first thing that puzzled us here in Cinci when this story broke. Are they worried that 4-hr-plus erection might interfere with driving, e.g., DWEE?
Posted by emma's bee on July 7, 2011 at 11:00 AM · Report this
11
Dang it! I had "masturbating", "Cub Scout", and "syphilis".
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhausen on July 7, 2011 at 11:01 AM · Report this
Will in Seattle 12
Caught Fishing with a Shotgun.

His blood tested positive for Reality TV Show Host essence.

... was I close?
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on July 7, 2011 at 11:11 AM · Report this
Phoebe on NE 79th 13
And he (just supposing if they ...) would have probably asked her to get an abortion.
Posted by Phoebe on NE 79th on July 7, 2011 at 11:19 AM · Report this
venomlash 14
Ooh, there should be Mad Libs next time you guys hold a meeting.
Posted by venomlash on July 7, 2011 at 11:22 AM · Report this
Vince 15
Rip off his gonads!
Posted by Vince on July 7, 2011 at 11:37 AM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 16
Why do they test DUI suspects for Viagra?
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings http://www.reddit.com/r/spaceclop on July 7, 2011 at 11:56 AM · Report this
COMTE 17
I think this is being a little hypocritical: I mean, I'm fairly certain he would have insisted the hooker not abort the zygote he was about to implant in her once its heartbeat was detected, right?

Or are you suggesting it wasn't his intent to actually impregnate the hooker? Because that would imply he thought teh secks was for something other than making teh bebeez...
Posted by COMTE http://www.chriscomte.com on July 7, 2011 at 12:01 PM · Report this
raggeddog 18
I grew up in this town (and my family is still there) - always glad to see it portrayed in a positive light. Plus, not far from Greensburg where Billy Lucas hung himself and really kickstarted the It Gets Better Project. When we finally let the southern states secede, can we make them take Indiana with them?
Posted by raggeddog on July 7, 2011 at 12:37 PM · Report this
TreGibbs 19
@11 You just made my day... f'n HILARIOUS
Posted by TreGibbs on July 7, 2011 at 3:32 PM · Report this

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