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Monday, June 20, 2011

How Old Is This Woman?

Posted by on Mon, Jun 20, 2011 at 5:16 PM

This young woman's name is Courtney Alexis Stodden. She just got married to a dude who was apparently in Lost and The Green Mile—congrats, you two!


Now, how old do you think Miss Courtney is? 25? 32? A young-looking 40-year-old who's maybe had some work done?

No. Courtney is 16 years old.

Why do teenage girls keep getting famous for looking like 35-year-old women who've spent an entire lifetime smoking and tanning!? I know it's not a new thing for young women to want to look older, but this shit is getting ridiculous. 15-year-old Kendall Jenner, I'm looking at you.

(Related: Get off my lawn.)


Comments (56) RSS

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Cui Bono 1
I don't know whether to scream, vomit or both.

Posted by Cui Bono on June 20, 2011 at 5:21 PM · Report this
DeaconBlues 2
I look forward to the divorce proceedings.
Posted by DeaconBlues on June 20, 2011 at 5:22 PM · Report this
OuterCow 3
Horace Goodspeed, you craddle-robber you! What would Amy think?
Posted by OuterCow on June 20, 2011 at 5:25 PM · Report this
Last of the Time Lords 4
Let's face it, Cortney looks like a used old whore who used to work on 85th and Aurora Ave.

Seriously, what the fuck will she look like at 30?!?!? Nancy Reagan?
Posted by Last of the Time Lords on June 20, 2011 at 5:27 PM · Report this
TVDinner 5
Dear. God.

Hey, question for the lawyers in Slogland: all contracts a person signs are voidable if they're under 18, right? So when Little Miss comes to Jesus in, say, six months, does she have to get officially divorced or can she just walk away?
Posted by TVDinner http:// on June 20, 2011 at 5:35 PM · Report this
I have to agree that both Courtney and Kendall look like they'll be on 'Real Housewives of Wherever' in a year or two.
Posted by J.R. on June 20, 2011 at 5:35 PM · Report this
He's got a dollar in his pocket, so I'm guessing her parents don't give a DAMN. Homie is going to jail, though.
Posted by MarsNova on June 20, 2011 at 5:39 PM · Report this
Jaymz 8
Everyone is missing the Northwest connection: She was Miss Ocean Shores in the Miss Washington Teen USA pagent last year....

My daughter is 16 - yech.
Posted by Jaymz on June 20, 2011 at 5:40 PM · Report this
seatackled 9
Give them a break. When she's 46, he'll be only 81.
Posted by seatackled on June 20, 2011 at 5:40 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 10
TVDinner, if it's legal for her to get married in the first place, then it's binding. There will be no walking away. Now, whether the pre-nup's valid is another thing entirely, though.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on June 20, 2011 at 5:41 PM · Report this
Fnarf 11
I like the first comment at the link: "pedobear".

Actually, given that she's 16 but looks 35, and he's 51 but looks 16 (if you don't get too close), this could work.

Does she call him "grampa"? He's old enough to be hers.
Posted by Fnarf on June 20, 2011 at 5:47 PM · Report this
genuinely funny, Megan (re: green mile). Nice job.
Posted by PugilistPuck on June 20, 2011 at 5:50 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 13
It's certainly not as sick as living in a country where people are paid to care about such trivialities. Megan.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on June 20, 2011 at 5:51 PM · Report this
Dougsf 14
Never heard of the guy, but his IMDB page suggests he gets a lot of work. Or rather, did get a lot of work.
Posted by Dougsf on June 20, 2011 at 5:53 PM · Report this
Jaymz 15
@5 and @10:

Washington is not the same as many other states on the age of consent to marry:

RCW 26.04.010
(1) Marriage is a civil contract between a male and a female who have each attained the age of eighteen years, and who are otherwise capable.

(2) Every marriage entered into in which either the husband or the wife has not attained the age of seventeen years is void except where this section has been waived by a superior court judge of the county in which one of the parties resides on a showing of necessity.

Odd that the marriage of a 17-year-old is not void but voidable. Washington will recognize legal marriages from other states.
Posted by Jaymz on June 20, 2011 at 5:54 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 16
I demand to see their long form birth certificates and Alien Registration DNA Profiles from the MiB.
Posted by Will in Seattle on June 20, 2011 at 6:00 PM · Report this
Jaymz 17
Follow up to @15:

Of course, not ALL marriages from other jurisdictions:

RCW 26.04.020
3) A marriage between two persons that is recognized as valid in another jurisdiction is valid in this state only if the marriage is not prohibited or made unlawful under subsection (1)(a), (1)(c), or (2) of this section.

Of course, one prohibition is "(c) When the parties are persons other than a male and a female." A Canadian married couple like Dan and Terry can't sneak in the back door, so to speak....
Posted by Jaymz on June 20, 2011 at 6:04 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 18
Hmm. Let's think this one through. I'm turning 41 this week, so I'll be 51 in ten years. If I marry a 16 year old then, that girl is just six today.

You know who is six today? My daughter.

I'm going to go throw up now.
Posted by Matt from Denver on June 20, 2011 at 6:06 PM · Report this
@8, thank you. That gives it some much needed perspective, Ocean Shores does. Now I don't blame her one little bit for marrying that woeful man.

If you're from there, you used to be okay if you were willing to eke out a living in logging or fishing or birthing babies to men who did same. Now even that shit's all gone, so unless you're prepared to spend your life vending tat to the bargain basement tourists who go there, truly the creme de la crap of holiday funseekers, your motto must be "anything---ANY THING---to get the FUCK out of here".
Posted by gloomy gus on June 20, 2011 at 6:07 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 20
I disagree about Kendall Jenner, though. Yes, her makeup is way too heavy, but in that linked photo she still looks like a teen. Courtney looks way older, but not Jenner.
Posted by Matt from Denver on June 20, 2011 at 6:09 PM · Report this
I think it's far more noteworthy that the guy looks 30, tops. Perhaps he's got more crow's feet around the eyes if his face isn't in shadow, though.

The chick does look at least 35 though. And a 35 that looks over 40, at that.

OTOH, the younger Kardashian/Jenner, which looking kinda gross, does look young.
Posted by genevieve on June 20, 2011 at 6:20 PM · Report this
while, not which...
Posted by genevieve on June 20, 2011 at 6:20 PM · Report this
seatackled 23
Who was this guy on Lost?
Posted by seatackled on June 20, 2011 at 6:46 PM · Report this

So if SLOG and all the commenters here owned a printer, and you got a job to print their wedding invitations, you wouldn't?
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on June 20, 2011 at 6:51 PM · Report this
I'm 38 with two children and look younger than that girl. I don't think she's 16. I think she's significantly older and this is all an elaborate attempt to get media-attention for her fledgling "singing career." I mean, that's how you make it these days, right? Publicity stunts. Not talent.
Posted by SeattleBound on June 20, 2011 at 6:52 PM · Report this

You can usually tell by the neck and arms. No skin flaps. Gotta be the real thing.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on June 20, 2011 at 6:54 PM · Report this
Dougsf 27
@25 - These two are getting more than their share of short-term press—but if they did this for their careers, they're sadly mistaken. Fresh new pop stars have to be single, and character actors have to be not generally perceived as total creeps.
Posted by Dougsf on June 20, 2011 at 7:03 PM · Report this
veo_ 28
@23 - Horace Goodspeed. The mathematician/leader of the Dharma Initiative back in the 70's who built jacob's cabin for his girlfriend as a private get away before it was used as a non-local spiritual prison for the man in black. if memory serves.

Posted by veo_ on June 20, 2011 at 7:07 PM · Report this
rara avis 29
She is gross. He is gross. They are super gross together. I'm going to move on with my life now.
Posted by rara avis on June 20, 2011 at 7:15 PM · Report this
Well as long as it protects the sanctity of marriage
Posted by Merchant Seaman on June 20, 2011 at 7:28 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 31

That photo does him too much justice. He was on Lie to Me last season. He looked early 40s at best. He looks good for 51, but not that good.


When talking about regular contracts, I believe contracts with minors are valid if the parents are involved in some capacity -- negotiating for them, signing with them, whatever (I'm also not a lawyer). Marriages involving minors usually require the parents' permission.
Posted by keshmeshi on June 20, 2011 at 7:41 PM · Report this
seatackled 32
@28, thanks. I don't remember that character. I missed most of the last season, though. (And now it's no longer than important to me to see it. :()
Posted by seatackled on June 20, 2011 at 8:05 PM · Report this
waiting for the porn tape in two years. at least i hope they wait two years lol
Posted by whatsbeckgottadowithit on June 20, 2011 at 8:11 PM · Report this
given the option i would bang both girls , pump and dump style. just sayin.
Posted by whatsbeckgottadowithit on June 20, 2011 at 8:12 PM · Report this
Schmapdi 35
Kendal Jenner is waaay too hot for a 15 year old. She makes me think things that could send me to jail!
Posted by Schmapdi on June 20, 2011 at 9:09 PM · Report this
Jessica 36
From what I understand, they got married in Vegas and her parents signed a waiver. Her mom also called her "a good Christian girl" because she's a virgin with no plastic surgery.

The best part about "Miss Ocean Shores" is that it's not an actual pageant, this girl just started calling herself that to get into the pageant circuit:…
Posted by Jessica on June 20, 2011 at 9:22 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 37
miss moclips is way hotter.
Posted by Max Solomon on June 20, 2011 at 9:37 PM · Report this
TacomaRoma 38
Posted by TacomaRoma on June 20, 2011 at 10:04 PM · Report this
She's still way hotter than any of the women at the Solstice parade

Posted by Reader1 on June 20, 2011 at 10:36 PM · Report this
Noadi 40
So, so wrong. Honestly any parent who would sign on of their 16 year old getting married to anyone, let alone someone old enough to be her grandfather, should face some serious investigation by child services.

I did a quick search on this girl, honestly she should be focusing on highschool and getting a good education because if her youtube channel is anything to go by her singing career is going nowhere.…
Posted by Noadi on June 20, 2011 at 11:53 PM · Report this
Look, anyone can see what's going to happen here. He'll get access for 6 months...maybe a year. Then her "friends" (all male between 19 and 28) will start to come over and hang around the house. At first, he'll wonder what's going on...then, he'll find out. He won't do anything because he figures he's still the luckiest 50 year old on earth...but over time, his "privileges" will dwindle down from all week long, to a few days, to once a month to the point where she will be disgusted with him. The friends will turn into bodyguards and when he asks about her, he'll get a glace that says, back off pops.

None of this will keep her from draining his checkbook.

Now...all good SLOG readers should know what the real problem is.

The real problem, for those astute enough to follow along is that:

He m_____d his _h__e.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on June 21, 2011 at 12:57 AM · Report this
Packeteer 42…

Check it out. She is a really good musician. She has real singing talent.
Posted by Packeteer on June 21, 2011 at 2:49 AM · Report this
npage148 43
@1. They talk about soup and snow peas
Posted by npage148 on June 21, 2011 at 7:24 AM · Report this
Thank you, @13.
That about sums it up.
Posted by Who woulda thunk? on June 21, 2011 at 7:43 AM · Report this
ha ha! packeteer, that was worth every minute. thanks for the sick laughs. excellent.
Posted by ellarosa on June 21, 2011 at 8:38 AM · Report this
If she's 16 now, why is she 15 years old in the article written more than two years ago and linked by @36?

Poor girl. Her parents failed miserably. I hope she discovers her worth someday. Why do parents raise their daughters to aspire to look like actresses in the porn industry?

Posted by mitten on June 21, 2011 at 10:03 AM · Report this
evilvolus 47
That is an unquestionably flattering picture of him. The following is more the way I remember him:…

However, every single still picture I can find of her makes her look at least 30. She looks somewhat younger in video, but I'd still peg her at mid-20s.
Posted by evilvolus on June 21, 2011 at 10:14 AM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 48
$20 says Newt Gingrich marries this creature within 3 years.
Posted by Captain Wiggette on June 21, 2011 at 10:40 AM · Report this
Geni 49
Jesus H. Christ in a blooming pear tree. I'm 51 years old. The idea of having relations with a 16-year-old, let alone marrying one, is right up there with bestiality for me. You're barely even the same species! What in the holy hell is there to talk about with someone that young? They're not even ready to hatch yet!

My oldest sister married at 15, to a 31-year-old man, and I've always considered him a disgusting pedophile - this guy is 20 years older! Ick. Just...ick.
Posted by Geni on June 21, 2011 at 11:15 AM · Report this
I watched her pageant video and some of her music videos, and had a few observations:

1) She looks old in her pictures. But if you watch her move around, she really does look like a teenager because she is so self-conscious. She reminds me of a few girls I knew in the high school theater club who were also in pageants. They were incredibly eager to be perceived as mature, and were always moving around dramatically with big gestures and exaggerated flips of the hair (of course, there is a difference: my friends' parents didn't buy them boob jobs).

2) She arches her back constantly. It's like the girl is a one-trick pony, and arching her back is her only trick! Her momma or the skeazy talent coach says, "Give me sexy, honey. Sexy!" and she automatically pouts and arches. On the pageant stage, the other teenage girls moved around a little shyly and clumsily, but she stalked around the stage and arched and thrust her hips like a manic robot.

3) You know those toddlers who are in pageants, or the child actors on the Disney Channel? They bounce and skip around with huge unnatural smiles, and they overact everything? This girl is the teenage version.

4) That old Reba McEntire song is now stuck in my head. "Just be nice to the gentlemen Fancy, they'll be nice to you...Now don't let me down hon, Mama's gonna move you uptown."

Posted by sweettreehugger on June 21, 2011 at 8:59 PM · Report this
If her mother was willing to let this girl get plastic surgery -- I don't know how else a 16-year old's face would have that artificial yanked-back look -- it's not surprising that she'd sign her over into an early marriage.

This guy could have just kept running around with a 16-year old girlfriend and stayed relatively under the radar since he's not very famous. Instead, he wanted to marry her. Just sayin.
Posted by Amanda on June 22, 2011 at 11:02 AM · Report this
Hmmm. Everyone is all for alternative lifestyles here, until they aren't. Apparently everyone draws lines somewhere. (And spare me the pedophilia shit. She is a woman. Look at her. That is what a sexually mature female looks like.) Although older men marrying younger women is, arguably, such a norm in human sexual relations that this is likely far more normal than you people--especially you aging gals, heh heh--would like to admit.

That said, she is likely going to look at him in the next 24 months and say, "WTF?! I married you? About 30 seconds later, she will be wondering how to get a quickie divorce, and take a share of his cash, of course.
Posted by Eeek! Clutch the pears! Men find teen women attractive! on June 22, 2011 at 11:59 AM · Report this
TOOMS! It's freaking Tooms, the liver-eating mutant from the X-Files.…
Jesus Christ, that is fucking creepy.
Posted by Park on June 22, 2011 at 1:30 PM · Report this
Delishuss 54
Oh, goddammit Doug Hutchison. I really liked you. You were excellent in The Green Mile. Now I just think you're a creepy old perv.
Posted by Delishuss on June 23, 2011 at 6:09 AM · Report this
@ 30 ftw.
Posted by masgroovy on June 23, 2011 at 5:05 PM · Report this
i don't want her to talk , i want her to put out and get out . whats all the obsession with talking ? only females care about that for fuck's sake .
Posted by whatsbeckgottadowithit on June 23, 2011 at 8:03 PM · Report this

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