Posted by news intern Peter Johnson.

Happy Saturday, everybody. This is a knock-knock joke:

—Knock-knock. —Who's there? —Thermos! —Thermos who? —Thermos be a knock-knock joke better than this!

This is the news:

New York gays: expected to be able to marry by the end of the coming week, according to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. Cuomo is negotiating with the state Senate's Republicans over religious groups' responsibilities in the gay new world: the Republicans "want ...provisions to protect such organizations from any repercussions from state agencies, that might deny aid or benefits based on discrimination." It's good to know that someone still looks out for discriminators.

Tunnel: the agency that writes explanations for Seattle ballot published the text that will accompany Referendum 1, the tunnel vote. Pro-tunnel folks think the measure is ultimately meaningless, while anti-tunnel folks think the vote could end the whole thing. Cienna writes that the language on the ballot is "long-winded and confusing as fuck." Process!

Syrian civilians: victims of violence on the part of their own government. CNN reports that in the village of Badama government forces "fired randomly at houses."

Afghanistan: Kabul was struck by suicide bombers dressed as police; the attacks killed nine people. Meanwhile, across town, Hamid Karzai had this to say about the US and NATO: "You remember a few years ago I was saying thank you to the foreigners for their help, every minute we were thanking them. ...They’re here for their own purposes, for their own goals, and they’re using our soil for that.” In sum, everything is going well.

Barack Obama and John Boehner's golf game: will the game be the first step in a budget deal? Who's going to win? Are they gonna be best buddies? Who's going to pay for drinks zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Greek debt: soon to be available to private investors like unlike you! Germany's Chancellor, Angela Merkel, said that she wants banks to contribute to a bailout package that will also include capital from EU members and the IMF. Merkel and fellow EU leaders have faced significant pressure from voters to refrain from bailing out Greece for a second time, while others have warned that default in Greece would lead to the end of the Euro.

Washington community college students: screwed. The cut-happy state budget is making things difficult for community colleges across the state; 25,000 students are expected to drop out of community college over the next two years because their program is no longer offered by their college.

Former Husky basketball player: accused of prostituting his girlfriend. Venoy Overton, who was a crappy point guard for the Huskies this season, is allegedly a crappy person, too. Instead of getting a job after graduation, Overton assumed he would be signed to a basketball contract (though Overton definitely won't be drafted after this and wasn't going to be anyway) and, as his source of income in the meantime, allegedly pimped his girlfriend on Pacific Highway in Kent.

Guy who punched a disabled man on the bus: going to jail for seven years. Raymel Curry was filmed beating Howard Hui, a disabled man half the size of Curry, on a Metro bus. Curry expressed remorse for his actions, which have left Hui too scared to ride the bus or leave his home.

Stay out of trouble this weekend. Santa's always watching.