Happy Saturday, Slog. It's actually a gorgeous day, which, if I lived in some pre-scientific time, I would probably attribute to the pleasant and forgiving temperament of an all-knowing deity or deities. But, being as how I'm alive right now, I just figure it's down to air pressure and shit like that.

Today's headlines:

al-Qaeda operative: killed by a drone strike in Pakistan. Clearly Pakistan has its shit together.

Syrian protesters: early today, hundreds of thousands turned out to mourn around 60 fellow protesters who were killed by paramilitary forces; Bashar al-Assad stands for progress, clearly.

Dickish Yemeni dictators: wounded, but still in Yemen. Ali Abdullah Saleh, the president-for-life of Yemen, recently reneged on a deal to step down from power and exacerbated an already violent and destabilizing situation, which resulted in an armed rebel raid on his compound. Yemen is extremely poor, extremely young, extremely unemployed, and extremely extreme in some sections. Yemen has the highest guns per person ratio in the world... after the United States.

South Dakotans: soon to be victims of flooding from the Missouri River. Some old dude and some old governor are pissed about that, apparently.

Prosecution of John Edwards: fraught with difficulties legal and practical. I quote: "Two crucial witnesses are dead. Another is 100 years old. A fourth was recently held in contempt of court." Good job, DOJ. Good Job. Your tax dollars at work.

Groupon: doing an IPO. Valued at $30 billion. Nobody knows why. Does anyone use Groupon? I've never used Groupon. The kids, with their Internets.

The viaduct: coming down six months earlier than initially planned, according to Governor Gregoire's decision.

Get off your ass and dance today.