Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, June 1, 2011
Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: Cock Shots
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jun 1, 2011 at 4:44 PM
I'm wondering whether you have any quick thoughts on the male tendency when sharing "naughty" photos to go straight for a close-up shot of their penis. The recent saga over Rep. Wiener's alleged crotch shot Tweeting disaster has brought to mind a number of recent cases where high-profile men (like Kanye West and Brett Favre) have sent women similar shots in a seeming attempt to entice them. However, the response I've heard from women to such offerings can be generally summed up as: Ew, yuck. Do you have any insight on why men might think this sort of overture would work?
TCF
My response after the jump...
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First off, regarding Anthony Wiener, I gotta say that these are not the comments of a man who hasn't taken a picture of his dick at some point and sent it to someone for some reason.
That said, I think Wiener is going to beat this thing. (Sorry.) Does anyone else feel like they're watching the Americans-getting-over-politicians-who've-smoked-pot arc all over again—but this time at warp speed and with sexting standing in for THC? With pot we went from exposure resulting in an instantaneous resignation in 1986 (Supreme Court nominee Douglas Ginsberg) to a tacit admission being a survivable mini-scandal in 1992 (Bill "Smoked, Didn't Inhale" Clinton) to a huge collective shrug in 2008 (Barack "Yeah, I Got High, That Was the Whole Point" Obama). With dirty pics we've gone from instant resignation in February of 2011 (Rep. Christopher "Craiglist Congressman" Lee) to a tacit admission looking like a survivable mini-scandal in June of 2011 (Rep. Anthony "Beat This Thing" Wiener). If pot is prologue, we'll be shrugging off a congressman's dirty pics before Labor Day.
As for what men are up to with those cock shots...
That sort of overture doesn't work on most women. But the guys who send cock shots aren't interested in most women, TCF. They're interested in the sort of woman that this sort of overture works on. And the quickest way to find out if a woman is that sort of woman is to... send the cock shot.
And despite the unanimous "Ew, yuck!" from your friends, TCF, there are women out there who do respond positively to this sort of overture. You may even know some of them. Your friends who thought, "Well, it depends on the guy," may have told you, "Ew, yuck!", because it was clear from the "Ew, yuck!" look on your face that "Ew, yuck!" was what you wanted to hear.
2
Add me to the "Eww, yuck!" camp. I've met men on AdultFriendFinder, where it's 90% cock shots - but the men I actually spoke to and hooked up with were never the ones who lead with the junk pic.
4
As a guy, I don't really get the cock-shots thing either. I don't consider my dick to be my best feature, and I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same even if it were a foot long and sparkly.
5
You never use the cock shot as your profile pic- you should always only send it via text or message if things start to get steamy... and I think that's the big difference between gay men and women- all the gay men I know are perfectly happy to receive cock shots from someone their interested in, and not afraid to admit it either.
6
While the whole thing does look sketch for Weiner... aren't there better ways to send pics of your junk than from a Twitter account that millions of strange people will know belongs to you?
7
Chris King and Anthony Weiner are not comparable. Chris King is a gigantic fucking hypocrite and went trolling for ass when he's married with children, Weiner allegedly tweeted a picture of a man in boxers. Can we not see the huge fucking difference/how this is a complete non-issue pushed by Andrew Breitbart and the like?
If we're going to talk Weiner, how about his push against Clarence Thomas and how that august Associate Justice refuses to admit he's getting TeaBagger dollars through his wife?
If we're going to talk Weiner, how about his push against Clarence Thomas and how that august Associate Justice refuses to admit he's getting TeaBagger dollars through his wife?
8
Guys send cock shots because they want a woman to look at their penis. It's a kind of flashing.
The cock shots never look attractive (maybe with better lighting? someone else holding the camera?) But they are so common that I don't rule out a guy because he sends one. (There's usually a more obvious reason, like he can't spell and has nothing to say to me.)
The cock shots never look attractive (maybe with better lighting? someone else holding the camera?) But they are so common that I don't rule out a guy because he sends one. (There's usually a more obvious reason, like he can't spell and has nothing to say to me.)
10
I think the cock shot is a misguided attempt to use what men think would work coming from women -- breasts, for instance -- but using their own equipment. I doubt heavily that anyone is hoping to find the "sort of girl" who likes that sort of thing. They are just poking around in the dark, unaware that it's the least creative and least sexy way to start off.
11
@10 "it's the least creative and least sexy way to start off." Yes, and a good sign that they'll be equally uncreative in person, equally unable to imagine what will actually be sexy for a woman.
12
No. Some men do it because they get off at having people stare at their junk. It has very little if nothing to do with actually having sex, or sealing the deal. I think, anyway as I've never done it (and the success rates amongst heterosexual men who do that sort of thing are probably so low that intelligent men wouldn't have that expectation going into it, implying satisfaction from something else), and those who've done it to me (or who do it in general) are the classiest of quality men who are to snatched up quick before they get away! Nothing like a flasher to bring home to the fam.
13
I love a cock shot.... if there have been conversations leading up to it. Out of the blue cock shot is a big no-no and I truly can't imagine any woman being interested in that.
Also, here's some free advice for all men..... NO ONE wants to see your flaccid cock. Seriously. I love cock, but sending me a picture of your soft cock is not going to do anyone any favors.
Also, here's some free advice for all men..... NO ONE wants to see your flaccid cock. Seriously. I love cock, but sending me a picture of your soft cock is not going to do anyone any favors.
14
That and I think guys have a major fascination with the penis. Be it their own or other guys. Even straight guys love to see how they compare and check out other guys. Since guys think their penis is the most awesome thing int he world, especially when they play with it, they assume women will think the same thing too. At least that's my theory. In the mean time, feel free to send all the penis pics you want to me. Yes, I'm a guy. :)
15
@4--if it's a foot long and sparkly, that's a cock shot I would like to see!
I have to disagree with EricaP, which is not something that I normally do. I've seen some very good cock shots, but as @13 stated, not flacid.
And @10, cock shots are not the place where one starts, @13 nailed it when stating that this is a good thing when there have been other conversations that lead to the cock shot. And if the conversation has evolved naturally, the shot will not be a bad one.....
I have to disagree with EricaP, which is not something that I normally do. I've seen some very good cock shots, but as @13 stated, not flacid.
And @10, cock shots are not the place where one starts, @13 nailed it when stating that this is a good thing when there have been other conversations that lead to the cock shot. And if the conversation has evolved naturally, the shot will not be a bad one.....
16
This has always baffled me & its not that I object to cock pictures per se but it is the overwhelming relentlessness of their usage. Men really are fixated on cocks, gay or straight and surprisingly few of them seem to realize it's not a universal fixation.
I agree with others re context of the pictures.
I agree with others re context of the pictures.
19
Also, their cocks are the embodiment of sex to men. It's the nuclear option of sexual messaging. COCK! SEEEEEEEXXX!
20
guys tend to avoid showing their face in pornographic images out of fear of internet/life repercussions but they talk women into showing their full bodies
it's hard for the average guy to take attractive pictures though unless they have a good body
it's hard for the average guy to take attractive pictures though unless they have a good body
21
@10: I'd prefer to receive a photo of a male chest, that would be more sexy. The female equivalent would be to send a photo of your genitals as well. Somehow, I don't think most guys would find it very appealing. (tell me if I'm wrong)
But there definitely is a guy obsession with penises that we don't have, just look at the "art" that cover all the tables of my school if you doubt it.
But there definitely is a guy obsession with penises that we don't have, just look at the "art" that cover all the tables of my school if you doubt it.
22
As a woman, I'd rather see a shot of a guy's ass (not goatse style, just standing) than his cock. But that's personal preference. And a cock shot is fine in context, just ick as a random come-on. Women are just not as into cocks as men.
Guys-who-like-gals, would you like a vulva shot from a woman? Or rather a full body nude?
Guys-who-like-gals, would you like a vulva shot from a woman? Or rather a full body nude?
23
more than once I have exchanged pics with a guy and been like "whats th- EW ITS A COCKPIC- oh hey :) heeeeeeeeeeeeey!" really, it depends on the cock in the pic.
26
@15 - maybe you've seen nicer ones than have come my way?
@17 - A face pic would be more effective than a cock shot. Or use words. Find something that you both have in common (from her profile or however you know her), and reference that. Read your message as if it were going from a stranger to your best platonic female friend, and think about whether she'd delete it, mock it, or respond well to it.
@17 - A face pic would be more effective than a cock shot. Or use words. Find something that you both have in common (from her profile or however you know her), and reference that. Read your message as if it were going from a stranger to your best platonic female friend, and think about whether she'd delete it, mock it, or respond well to it.
27
@22 blueworld
Yes, erotic full body nudes are fantastic. But the choice you set up is not one we normally get.
Yes, erotic full body nudes are fantastic. But the choice you set up is not one we normally get.
28
I'm thinking that most men appreciate the O'Keeffe shot. The men that I know think that vaginas are beautiful, and welcome the opportunity to get a good look. And none of them would turn down a full nude either.
But realistically, these are selfies taken with a cell phone camera. It's very difficult to get a good picture under those conditions. I think it's funny to see the cell phone self pics with the toilet in the background.
But realistically, these are selfies taken with a cell phone camera. It's very difficult to get a good picture under those conditions. I think it's funny to see the cell phone self pics with the toilet in the background.
29
@26: But the face shot is so ... revealing! You expect a guy to just give it right up, don't you.
;-)
;-)
30
Look, the etiquette on sexting is, or should be, very simple: Don't send a picture of ANYTHING the recipient hasn't already seen and approved of in real life.
32
I never thought I wanted to see a cock shot on my phone screen, but this one dude I was texting with sent a picture of his. I gotta say, it was pretty impressive. But I'm not sure what my reaction would have been if it hadn't been so, well, impressive.
33
@30 Ooooh! Next time I send someone my face pic, I'm going to be holding a puppy next to my cheek!
38
@30: That might work if you meet the person in-person first, but if it's an online or long distance thing, that makes no sense.
39
@17: Can't speak for all women, but the view of a cock and balls from behind, bending over, gets an all-access pass from me. Not the ass necessarily, but the junk. Don't think that's a very common fetish for straight women though.
40
My issue is that phone OS makers really need to have a separate, private photo gallery in which to keep your *ahem* unmentionable pictures... it's always awkward when you reach for your phone to show grandma pictures from the Washington Monument, only to inadvertently show her some else's Monument instead.
41
I love cock, but I'm usually more attracted to what the cock's attached to. Penises are ugly all by themselves and out of context. If I'm talking to a guy online, and ask for a picture, and he immediately assumes that means I want a pic of his dick, even if we never got around to that sort of conversation, it's an instant turn off. I prefer pictures of a guy's face, chest/stomach muscles, etc.
43
Put the best of what you have forward first. If it's your cock, good for you, tiger. If you're clever, or worked out and got a set of nice abs, let potential hook-ups know. If you're clever, work out, and have a great dick, I hate you. Don't talk to me. Seriously. Go be perfect somewhere else. Yuck.
44
I'd imagine it's because on most guys, it's the only part of their body that isn't fat that they can offer, thinking that might be enough to persuade the recipient
46
I think @44 has it.
I'm in the "yuck" camp...And besides, all cocks...er...kinda look the same, with a few minor variations. Sorry guys. Personally, I'm much more interested in the face, but then I guess I'm not really in the cock-shot target demographic. Incidentally, having a cute, smiling, friendly face more than makes up for being a little out of shape in my books (and those of most women I know).
I'm in the "yuck" camp...And besides, all cocks...er...kinda look the same, with a few minor variations. Sorry guys. Personally, I'm much more interested in the face, but then I guess I'm not really in the cock-shot target demographic. Incidentally, having a cute, smiling, friendly face more than makes up for being a little out of shape in my books (and those of most women I know).
47
Dan, I think men send cock shots mostly for their own benefit, and I'm not saying that in a critical way. There is a primal precedent for wagging your penis around for others (males and females) to see. Men do it for fun in the same way that women prop up their tits and tape their dresses into odd configurations.
The Weiner "news" baffles me. Yes, it's probably a picture of his crotch, but why is it our business? Is he being hypocritical in his crotch-photography legislation? If not, what's the deal? No law has been broken, right? I'm really embarrassed for the people who are grilling him on this issue -- surely a low-point in their journalism careers. A sexy photo of a congressman's underwear has proven to be more newsworthy than anything else going on in the world? It would be okay if it was just a humorous, racy story at the end of a newscast, but... it's front page.
I assure you that the vast majority of congressmen have funny or racy pictures of themselves on their computers, and that many of them have fun little sex lives that may involve snapping pictures. I'm no sociologist, but isn't it fascinating that we (and our beloved media) -- realizing that there is no legal or ethical issue raised by Weiner's hacking -- still must know IF THAT IS HIS OWN FLESH, pressing so tenderly against the grey, ribbed cotton?
Perhaps it's envy (it's a pretty good picture). If that's the case, continue wagging away, Mr. Weiner!
The Weiner "news" baffles me. Yes, it's probably a picture of his crotch, but why is it our business? Is he being hypocritical in his crotch-photography legislation? If not, what's the deal? No law has been broken, right? I'm really embarrassed for the people who are grilling him on this issue -- surely a low-point in their journalism careers. A sexy photo of a congressman's underwear has proven to be more newsworthy than anything else going on in the world? It would be okay if it was just a humorous, racy story at the end of a newscast, but... it's front page.
I assure you that the vast majority of congressmen have funny or racy pictures of themselves on their computers, and that many of them have fun little sex lives that may involve snapping pictures. I'm no sociologist, but isn't it fascinating that we (and our beloved media) -- realizing that there is no legal or ethical issue raised by Weiner's hacking -- still must know IF THAT IS HIS OWN FLESH, pressing so tenderly against the grey, ribbed cotton?
Perhaps it's envy (it's a pretty good picture). If that's the case, continue wagging away, Mr. Weiner!
49
@4,
Ha. Yeah, a foot-long sparkly dick would be cool all right, but I can go out and BUY one of those. You can buy a dick made to your specifications - what you can't buy is the person attached to the dick. Case in point.
Just out of curiosity, do any of you straight men ever have a "yuck" reaction to unsolicited boob shots? (I'm thinking that's really the female equivalent.) Just wondering.
Ha. Yeah, a foot-long sparkly dick would be cool all right, but I can go out and BUY one of those. You can buy a dick made to your specifications - what you can't buy is the person attached to the dick. Case in point.
Just out of curiosity, do any of you straight men ever have a "yuck" reaction to unsolicited boob shots? (I'm thinking that's really the female equivalent.) Just wondering.
50
@10: Agreed that it's often better to start off with words or less revealing shots... but I'm sure that guys are looking for someone who would respond to it. I mean, a girl who would like and appreciate a cock shot, especially without much prior communication, is really hot.
@21/22: Yes, of course most guys would love a pussy shot. There's nothing hotter than a close-up of a spread pussy. That's the whole point of porn... Full body nudes are also good for seeing what someone looks like but they're not as immediately arousing and sexual.
@21/22: Yes, of course most guys would love a pussy shot. There's nothing hotter than a close-up of a spread pussy. That's the whole point of porn... Full body nudes are also good for seeing what someone looks like but they're not as immediately arousing and sexual.
53
On the one hand, yeah, the penis-shot is obviously ew.
But some of us live in a smaller world. And from any smaller world, we can all count on one thing being *urgent* for a guy. Sex.
By contrast, can we never count on anything being *urgent* for a woman? Shouldn't someone make it a first and either confirm or deny we can never count on anything being urgent for a woman?
...which is fine, if that's the case. I think it's fine to say we should count on sex never being urgent for women (otherwise the penis-shots wouldn't be ew). But for them to wear such impractical clothes, without sex being urgent for her -- then what? Why go through the discomfort? They'll help the peg-legged captain hunt the white whale as long as he dances for them? How do men present themselves in response to something like that? That isn't something you can attach to an email.
However much ew, sending the penis-shot is not the severest mystery in the suite of behaviors we encounter every day.
But some of us live in a smaller world. And from any smaller world, we can all count on one thing being *urgent* for a guy. Sex.
By contrast, can we never count on anything being *urgent* for a woman? Shouldn't someone make it a first and either confirm or deny we can never count on anything being urgent for a woman?
...which is fine, if that's the case. I think it's fine to say we should count on sex never being urgent for women (otherwise the penis-shots wouldn't be ew). But for them to wear such impractical clothes, without sex being urgent for her -- then what? Why go through the discomfort? They'll help the peg-legged captain hunt the white whale as long as he dances for them? How do men present themselves in response to something like that? That isn't something you can attach to an email.
However much ew, sending the penis-shot is not the severest mystery in the suite of behaviors we encounter every day.
54
His responses sound like a guy who's been the butt (hehe) of wiener jokes since middle school. Good for him.
55
wow, so much dialog on this... and so many women that do NOT like dick pix. I love them, of course i'm a typical gay i guess. im sure there are some guys out there that don't go for that but overall i think its widely accepted on our side of things...
56
I think some of the, "Ew, yuck!" response comes from the fact that we're socialized to believe the cock is "ugly" and the female body is "beautiful" from a very early age. I mean, seriously. If I had a friggin' half-penny for every time I've heard people parrot this sentiment, I'd be a gagillionaire--and do you know how long it takes to amass 2 gagillion half-pennies? I feel that a good rule of thumb is that if virtually everyone is repeating a setiment almost verbatim, then it's a social construction. Like Dan said, no one wants to be the, "Penises are beautiful!" girl in a group full of, "Ew, yuk!"ers. But what the hell, I'll go for it: PENISES ARE BEAUTIFUL! I beg my husband for cock shots. Seriously.
57
@47: His old college friend Jon seems pretty convinced that it's not his pic ("He was always a little more Anthony and a little less Weiner.") It's a hot shot, though, and it's none of our business.
58
Why is it that arguably most gay men would love to receive a cock shot, where most heterosexual women would not? Must be something biological, right? Or is it just hetero women? Here are the scenarios:
1) hetero men: would love them some vagina pics
2) gay men: would love them some penis pics
3) hetero women: 'ew' to the penis pics
4) gay women: would love them some vagina pics(?)
If #4 is false, then I might conclude it's a biological reason. If #4 is true, then hetero women have some issues, it seems.
1) hetero men: would love them some vagina pics
2) gay men: would love them some penis pics
3) hetero women: 'ew' to the penis pics
4) gay women: would love them some vagina pics(?)
If #4 is false, then I might conclude it's a biological reason. If #4 is true, then hetero women have some issues, it seems.
59
One vote from a male who would love a random pussy photo sexted to me. Boobs work too.
Seriously, I think if you polled men on this issue, you would get roughly the same approval rating as a Saddam Huissein election result. 98% in favor and 2% brave enough to dissent.
I used to send these when I was younger before I realized that women weren't impressed (hopefully it wasn't personal :) All the cock shot meant was "I am horny, thinking of you and ready to go!" And, secretly hoping for the reciprocal gential shot in return. Ah college.
Seriously, I think if you polled men on this issue, you would get roughly the same approval rating as a Saddam Huissein election result. 98% in favor and 2% brave enough to dissent.
I used to send these when I was younger before I realized that women weren't impressed (hopefully it wasn't personal :) All the cock shot meant was "I am horny, thinking of you and ready to go!" And, secretly hoping for the reciprocal gential shot in return. Ah college.
60
General consensus on Fetlife is that a cockshot for a profile pic indicates that's the best thing about a person. Like saying someone has a good personality. Oh, yay, you have a penis. So does ever other male who was born that way and many who weren't.
61
@59, I'm glad you said that, because it's what I always figured those shots meant -- that the guy was horny and was trying to get me to send a pic in return. (Evidence in support of this is that they usually then flat-out *ask* me to send a pic in return.)
62
Huh, my guess is that it's because for some men (these men), sex is all about their penises. This is also why men, generally, like cock in their porn - the way we socialize male sexuality, it's all about cock. Do we think that the sort of guys who are sending (at least sometimes, if not always) unsolicited pictures of their genitals to women are at all concerned with what the women want? Granted, as evident here, there are women who DO like cock shots, and that's totally fine, but given the general cultural sentiment, my guess is that the guys doing this are WAY more wrapped up in themselves/their own sexualities/their cocks than they are concerned about what's going to work for/with women. By the way, sending people unsolicited and unwanted pictures of a sexual nature qualifies as sexual harassment or sexual assault in many jurisdictions, but for some reason that doesn't seem to come up much in these "sexting" scandals.
I also found it odd that Weiner couldn't just flat-out deny that the picture is him. I'm quite certain I've never taken a picture like that of myself, so I have no issue asserting that the photo isn't me.
@59: You might be correct about the poll numbers, but only because guys wouldn't think it through; as far as I'm aware, most men don't find women universally attractive and wouldn't appreciate pictures from women they didn't find attractive/whose genitals they didn't find attractive.
I also found it odd that Weiner couldn't just flat-out deny that the picture is him. I'm quite certain I've never taken a picture like that of myself, so I have no issue asserting that the photo isn't me.
@59: You might be correct about the poll numbers, but only because guys wouldn't think it through; as far as I'm aware, most men don't find women universally attractive and wouldn't appreciate pictures from women they didn't find attractive/whose genitals they didn't find attractive.
63
@53, usually, in my life, what's urgent is meeting someone else's needs. I urgently need to make the kid's lunch, change the diaper, send in that report, deal with my husband's boner.
My own pleasure rarely if ever feels urgent. Urgent is about feeling rushed. If I'm rushed, I'm not feeling pleasure.
My own pleasure rarely if ever feels urgent. Urgent is about feeling rushed. If I'm rushed, I'm not feeling pleasure.
64
Erica @63, going strictly from your literal reply to what I said (like I said, I live in a smaller world), it sounds like a housekeeper who won't hit on you would be a trade-up from your husband, no?
66
I (female) have never received a cock shot, but I would probably love it. I'd be dismayed if I got one from a random, but if the subject of the shot is hard, beautiful and I have regular access to it, yes please. I've been in relationships where the cock wasn't all that impressive just to look at, but for the ones that are, I think it isn't totally delusional to think a woman would find it hot.
Also, when people talk about this and people say "oh, yuck!" I think to myself "I wish my boyfriend would do that." So yes, there are silent, prospective fans of this tactic. But I also am such a fan of that particular cock I considered asking him to buy one of those DIY-cock-model-vibrator-kit things so I would never have to be without it, so maybe it's situational.
Also, when people talk about this and people say "oh, yuck!" I think to myself "I wish my boyfriend would do that." So yes, there are silent, prospective fans of this tactic. But I also am such a fan of that particular cock I considered asking him to buy one of those DIY-cock-model-vibrator-kit things so I would never have to be without it, so maybe it's situational.
67
Men send cockshots to women because they want sex from women and fail to understand that women are not as visually oriented as men.
Much like women blather endlessly to a guy, thinking that by talking and sharing thoughts, that somehow binds the guy in some way, when in fact, he is simply waiting until the point where they have sex.
Much like women blather endlessly to a guy, thinking that by talking and sharing thoughts, that somehow binds the guy in some way, when in fact, he is simply waiting until the point where they have sex.
68
Dear Mr Savage: It's Weiner not wiener. I know it's more sophomoric humor to spell it wiener so you can guffaw about it, but anyone who is over the age of 13 can get over that humor. I suggest you do too!
69
@20 now see, I just don't think that's true. It's a shame that mens bodies are generally perceived as not being as sexy as a woman's :-P
And that all said, I actually kinda like that shot ascribed to Weiner. Since it is in pants, it has that element of mystery to it ;). But not on a first text, please...
And that all said, I actually kinda like that shot ascribed to Weiner. Since it is in pants, it has that element of mystery to it ;). But not on a first text, please...
70
@64 - the housekeeper would be nice, but I do love sex with my husband; it just doesn't feel "urgent" to me (until my orgasm is on the approach, say 1 minute away, then I feel a sense of urgency). An amusement park, a rock concert, a hot shower, an icecream sundae, a good fucking, a bdsm scene -- these are all delightful/exciting/delicious, but not "urgent", from my perspective.
@66 -- 99% of the cock shots I receive are sent by strangers. What you're talking about is visual play with a beloved sex partner, a totally different thing. I think very few women would say ew, yuck, when sent a picture of a cock they know and love.
@66 -- 99% of the cock shots I receive are sent by strangers. What you're talking about is visual play with a beloved sex partner, a totally different thing. I think very few women would say ew, yuck, when sent a picture of a cock they know and love.
71
Also, for the record, here's what's behind the Weiner scandal. It's a picture he took for/with a former girlfriend (cheating on his wife). She got mad when they broke up, and sent the picture to the Breitbart machine, but making them promise first that they wouldn't mention her name or say how they got it. So now Breitbart has managed to get the picture into the news. Weiner can't say that it's not him, because he knows that it is his cock. He doesn't want an investigation, because it will turn up the affair. But Weiner has committed no crime and his only ethical lapse was the affair (which maybe his wife knew about, and is none of our business anyway), and he's telling the truth when he says he didn't sent the picture this week. Hopefully this will all blow over soon.
73
@56: You can't oppose a feeling on penises to a feeling the whole female body. I don't think mot women on the ew! side find vulva really sexy. I know I don't.
@58: I think it's a physical thing. (not an issue, though) It's way more difficult to stare at your own (or others') crotch as a female, especially if you're not very flexible.
@58: I think it's a physical thing. (not an issue, though) It's way more difficult to stare at your own (or others') crotch as a female, especially if you're not very flexible.
75
To those who said flaccid cock pictures can't be sexy: You are dead wrong. I'm a gay guy, so (as seems to be the general consensus on this board) I'm a big fan of sending and receiving cock pics, and a picture of a great flaccid cock is SO hot because you get to stare at it and think, "Just what does that become when it's hard?" You get the visceral reaction to seeing it AND it gets the ol' erotic imagination going...
76
As a straight woman, I'm disappointed in all the otherwise-interested-in-men types who are all "ew! pene!"
Out of context cock shots are usually pretty uninteresting to me, and as I've spent 5+ years on dating sites I've seen puhLENty. Now, once I've gotten to know you a little, it gets more interesting... even MOREso if I can see you face in the same shot. Context context context!
But penises are not "gross" or "ugly." Come on, people, grow up a little.
Out of context cock shots are usually pretty uninteresting to me, and as I've spent 5+ years on dating sites I've seen puhLENty. Now, once I've gotten to know you a little, it gets more interesting... even MOREso if I can see you face in the same shot. Context context context!
But penises are not "gross" or "ugly." Come on, people, grow up a little.
77
I was quick to say I'm in the "yuck" camp earlier. I'd like to clarify that I don't think penises are ugly or gross. I love them. The "yuck" is more me being turned of by the mentality of a guy who thinks my primary concern about him is how big his dick is, what it looks like, and so on. Like I said, they're all pretty similar. I would love it, however, if my bf would sext me some penis pictures (come to think of it, I'll ask him next chance I get).
78
I am utterly uninterested in any photo of a disembodied body part sent to me. I don't want a picture of your foot, either, or your ear. A face is acceptable, since that's how most humans recognize one another. If we sniffed butts to get acquainted like dogs, probably we'd be sending each other pictures of our buttholes. And no, I do not want a butthole picture either.
I remember what my brother-in-law said to my nephew when my nephew started decorating his walls with pictures of female genitalia that he'd cut out from photos of the entire person. "You do know you're going to have to deal with more of the actual woman than that, don't you?"
I remember what my brother-in-law said to my nephew when my nephew started decorating his walls with pictures of female genitalia that he'd cut out from photos of the entire person. "You do know you're going to have to deal with more of the actual woman than that, don't you?"
79
I am a man. I am not a very attractive man. Perhaps my face might be considered attractive by some people, but my body fails to live up to the nearly all of the basic metrics that are typically applied. Think pale skin, some acne, more body hair than is acceptable/in the wrong places, little muscle tone, flabby stomach, no butt, etc. As a result, there is no part of my body that I think of as sexualized. If you were to ask, which parts of my body do I find sexy, I would say none.
Except, of course, the penis. I wouldn't say I find my penis sexy, per se, but it is the only part of my body that I inherently and immediately connect with sex. Therefore, if faced with the prospect of having to send a woman a "sexy" picture of myself, I can't think of anything to photograph other than my penis. That is my "sex organ."
Except, of course, the penis. I wouldn't say I find my penis sexy, per se, but it is the only part of my body that I inherently and immediately connect with sex. Therefore, if faced with the prospect of having to send a woman a "sexy" picture of myself, I can't think of anything to photograph other than my penis. That is my "sex organ."
80
I love cock pix, although I do agree with the Fetlife consensus not to have it as your profile pic. Have cock shots with your other pix.
@EricaP How did Weiner have time to cheat on his wife? Haven't they been married like a year? Isn't it more likely that it was just a previous girlfriend?
@EricaP How did Weiner have time to cheat on his wife? Haven't they been married like a year? Isn't it more likely that it was just a previous girlfriend?
81
@80 - I didn't realize when I posted that they'd only been married a year. But there has to be something embarrassing, to keep him from just explaining, so I'm still betting he cheated on his wife (maybe when she was 'only' a girlfriend or fiancee) with the girl who got the cock shot.
82
(I don't mean the young woman who was sent it this week, but the woman he must have sent it to long ago (or maybe she's the one who originally took the picture))
83
I'm pretty sure he took that picture himself, from the angle.
Google his wife--now I'm not saying that guys cheat on girlfriends who look like supermodels...after a while, after boredom sets in but he simply hasn't had the time for boredom to set in. Don't slosh around gossip you pulled out of your ass, especially when it helps the Republican smear machine. Breitbart deliberately set this going right now because Weiner was getting movement on getting Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from Obamacare decisions because of the bribes given to Thomas's wife by the industry.
Interestingly, Anonymous has now gotten involved. They don't like this attempt to silence Weiner by blackmail.
Google his wife--now I'm not saying that guys cheat on girlfriends who look like supermodels...after a while, after boredom sets in but he simply hasn't had the time for boredom to set in. Don't slosh around gossip you pulled out of your ass, especially when it helps the Republican smear machine. Breitbart deliberately set this going right now because Weiner was getting movement on getting Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from Obamacare decisions because of the bribes given to Thomas's wife by the industry.
Interestingly, Anonymous has now gotten involved. They don't like this attempt to silence Weiner by blackmail.
84
Marrena: "Breitbart deliberately set this going right now because Weiner was getting movement on getting Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from Obamacare decisions because of the bribes given to Thomas's wife by the industry."
You were saying something about a republican smear machine, asshole?
You were saying something about a republican smear machine, asshole?
85
@81: At this point in our culture, even sending it out to an ex-girlfriend while they were dating would be embarrassing. If he admitted even that it was sent out to his wife the day before their wedding, we'd be getting tut-tutting from the right about his "poor decision making."
I'm still believing Jon Stewart's initial reaction, though. Friends know each other.
I'm still believing Jon Stewart's initial reaction, though. Friends know each other.
86
@83, I'm on Weiner's side; I think he'll be fine if he just sticks with not giving any details. There's not going to be any indictment, because he didn't do anything wrong. And this will go away soon. Sorry if you think my attempt to explicate his weird press conferences is damaging to the "cause."
87
Dan, I think you goofed on this one.
Sure some women are out there who enjoy them, but I'm looking at the responses and I'm pretty sure it's the majority of women who are "Ew, yuck" for random, not-in-context, unsolicited cock shots. (I've had a couple from guys that I've slept with, those are ok, I don't really care about them but they seem to like it so I'll be whatever. But not random, not craigslist, and not the leading picture on a dating or even a sex website.) Not interested. I'm looking at his face during sex, not his penis.
And, I also venture to say that those guys who send those shots would LOVE to meet us GGG girls who come to Savage Love. So I have to disagree with that as well. Sure they might meet a chick who will jump on you with a pic like that. But you're also cutting out us GGG chicks and I'd bet they would thank their lucky stars if they can get one (or more) of us in bed.
Last but not least, @67, I never thought of that. I blather all the time.
Debs
Sure some women are out there who enjoy them, but I'm looking at the responses and I'm pretty sure it's the majority of women who are "Ew, yuck" for random, not-in-context, unsolicited cock shots. (I've had a couple from guys that I've slept with, those are ok, I don't really care about them but they seem to like it so I'll be whatever. But not random, not craigslist, and not the leading picture on a dating or even a sex website.) Not interested. I'm looking at his face during sex, not his penis.
And, I also venture to say that those guys who send those shots would LOVE to meet us GGG girls who come to Savage Love. So I have to disagree with that as well. Sure they might meet a chick who will jump on you with a pic like that. But you're also cutting out us GGG chicks and I'd bet they would thank their lucky stars if they can get one (or more) of us in bed.
Last but not least, @67, I never thought of that. I blather all the time.
Debs
88
10/Extuno: I think the cock shot is a misguided attempt to use what men think would work coming from women -- breasts, for instance -- but using their own equipment.
I agree with Extuno. And I think this points to a general difference between men and women, that men like things more explicit* whereas women prefer a little mystery. It's also why men prefer nearly nonexistent bathing suits on women while most women seem to recoil in horror at the sight (or thought) of a man in a skimpy speedo-type suit.
* I would bet that gay men are far less likely to go ""Ew, yuck!" at a cock shot than straight women.
I agree with Extuno. And I think this points to a general difference between men and women, that men like things more explicit* whereas women prefer a little mystery. It's also why men prefer nearly nonexistent bathing suits on women while most women seem to recoil in horror at the sight (or thought) of a man in a skimpy speedo-type suit.
* I would bet that gay men are far less likely to go ""Ew, yuck!" at a cock shot than straight women.
89
16/BEG: Men really are fixated on cocks, gay or straight and surprisingly few of them seem to realize it's not a universal fixation.
Men -- straight men -- are "fixated" on pussy and breasts too. Again, in line with what Extuno said, I think that a lot of men feel "If we love your stuff, you should naturally love ours." But women, of course, are not men and don't (in general) think like men.
22/ blueworld: Guys-who-like-gals, would you like a vulva shot from a woman? Or rather a full body nude?
I'd prefer a full body nude, but I certainly wouldn't go "Ew, yuck!" if I a got a vulva shot (unless Glenn Beck's head was poking out of it.)
Men -- straight men -- are "fixated" on pussy and breasts too. Again, in line with what Extuno said, I think that a lot of men feel "If we love your stuff, you should naturally love ours." But women, of course, are not men and don't (in general) think like men.
22/ blueworld: Guys-who-like-gals, would you like a vulva shot from a woman? Or rather a full body nude?
I'd prefer a full body nude, but I certainly wouldn't go "Ew, yuck!" if I a got a vulva shot (unless Glenn Beck's head was poking out of it.)
90
Hm, "Beat This Thing" might not be the best nickname for Mr. Wiener to have under these particular circumstances.
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