Seriously, what's the point of this awning? Is it a practical-joke awning, ironically embodying all of the worst characteristics an awning can have? A what-not-to-do awning?

As longtime Slog readers know, the awning issue is near and dear to my heart. As I wrote on this here blog in 2006, the awnings in this town are bullshit. They’re everywhere, but none of them connect to the next, and everyone who's ever walked down the sidewalk in the rain knows that the space between awnings is what gets you every time. You're dry, you're dry, you're dry, the rain is beautiful, the day is good, and then—BLOOOP! A huge motherfucking drop slides off the edge of one awning just as you’re about to duck under the next and lands, thick and cold, right in the center of your head, sending a shiver down your spine, and then it dribbles in a dirty, thick line past your hair follicles, across your crown, and down your forehead.

As I have written, this is not acceptable. We can put men on the moon; we're so bored putting men on the moon we're not doing it anymore. We can immunize ourselves from smallpox; we did that 300 years ago. After all that, we certainly have the technology to build contiguous awnings. It's bizarre that in a city famous for its rain—and so fetishistic about its design-review process—this isn't a common practice.

This awning up top is especially bad. It's like it was designed by someone who read that Slog post in 2006 and just wanted to fuck with everyone. It's like it's not even an awning—it's a suspended object designed to have as many dripping edges as possible. Not only are there multiple panels sticking out over the sidewalk unconnected to each other even though they're all outside the same store, there are gaps inside each panel of awning.

Try imagining who came up with this idea. Hey guys, I know! It's like an awning but it has HOLES in it! It's the hot new trend in awnings! Sure, they make the awning useless, but who cares? Look how much classier these awnings look with giant squarish holes in them! Plus, with everyone getting wetter, they further promote the need for awnings! Soon we'll have awnings on top of awnings! Which means more money for us! And then someone else was like, You're promoted!

And we the people, the pedestrians—we are left out in the cold, shivering, helpless, confused. Peter Steinbrueck got into the comments on that 2006 Slog post and said he was doing something to address the issue. But now that Steinbrueck's gone, is anyone fighting the fight anymore? Do we have an awning advocate? Sally Clark, are you out there?