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Saturday, May 21, 2011

City / Life / Religion Today's Rapture: The Q & A

Posted by Kelly O on Sat, May 21, 2011 at 5:15 PM

So this guy's been at the old church on the corner of 14th and Spring, every time I drive or walk down 14th Avenue, for the past two months. I've seen him there, arms outstretched and unmoving, at least 6 or 7 times. Sometimes he's wearing a scary black trenchcoat, sometimes, like today, he has a green broom. Today, I figured, what the hell, I'm gonna ask him how he's doing...

ME: Hi, how ya doin?
MAN WITH BROOM: (Nods)
ME: Hey, you afraid of what's going to happen today? Y'know, at 6:00 pm?
MWB: We're (smiles)... We're going to be JUST FINE.
ME: So I shouldn't worry?
MWB: You never know when Jesus will return!
ME: Ok, great! Have a nice day, then.
MWB: No, that's not it. Have a bless'ed day.

Comments (11) RSS

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Dude's got his arms out to even out that farmer's tan.

Posted by mint chocolate chip on May 21, 2011 at 5:31 PM

I see this guy on Broadway all the time, frequently riding a bicycle. He's like a broken record, always says exactly the same thing as he passes anyone: "Jesus lives! Have a blessed day!", like those are the only two sentences he can articulate. He must say that several hundred times a day.

Glad to see his vocabulary is slightly more than six words.

Posted by COMTE

on May 21, 2011 at 5:58 PM

Yesterday he told my partner and I, "Jesus loves you." I was let down. I hoped he was awaiting an alien spaceship.

Posted by Simply Me on May 21, 2011 at 6:08 PM

This guy is a creepy ninja. He's always sneaking up behind me saying Jesus stuff. For some reason, he makes me angrier than almost any canvasser or spare changer on Broadway. I'd rather talk to four of the Save the Children suckers than this dude. Float on, mang.

Posted by dpb on May 21, 2011 at 7:22 PM

I see this creeper all the time. I once saw him standing with arms outstretched at like 4 am... Hope he doesn't snap.

Posted by Huggie on May 21, 2011 at 8:11 PM

I must be missing something because he sounds happy. Is he harassing when he does this (seriously)?

If not you can put up your little bubble and ignore him too, like all the homeless folks and crazies downtown (hell even the crazies from churches all over) who might not understand they're creepy.

Posted by dirac on May 22, 2011 at 10:54 AM

i want to party with these people! to Hell with the Rapture...oh, wait.

Posted by vacation on May 22, 2011 at 12:38 PM

He's so nice and never rants - he's much better for the Jesus brand than all those other ranting hating Christians

Posted by jackseattle on May 22, 2011 at 2:33 PM

@6:

If one can consider a person who only seems capable of parroting mindless platitudes over-and-over as "happy", then yeah, I guess he is.

Reminds me of an old Neil Innes Song...

Posted by COMTE

on May 23, 2011 at 9:54 AM

This guy used to stand at MLK and Rainier all friggin' day, every friggin' day, posing. Lately I just see him walking down Rainier, arms outstretched. I try to imagine what he does when he needs to eat, or piss. Then I realize he probably doesn't do either of those things.

Posted by microwavable on May 23, 2011 at 10:45 AM

@9 Sometimes people only do what they know. "Mindless platitudes" are relative, IMO. Spending your precious time and energy ridiculing these people is not that noble or useful either.

Posted by dirac on May 23, 2011 at 1:05 PM