Terryâmy husband in Canada/boyfriend in Americaâgrew up in Spokane, Washington, where he was brutally bullied at Shadle Park High School. Like so many bullied gay kids, Terry said nothing to his parents about what he was going through. He wasn't ready to come out to his familyâhe feared their reactionâand there was no way to talk about what was being done to him at school without drawing attention to his sexuality. It wasn't until Terry was chased down and brutally assaulted on his way to a music lessonâan assault that left his face bruised and bloodiedâthat Terry broke down and told a trusted adult what was going on. Terry's music teacher promptly called his mother and father. Terry's mother and father immediately called the school. And at a meeting with his school counselor Terry and his parents were told that there was nothing the school could do to stop the bullyingâthey certainly weren't going to punish the bulliesâso long as Terry insisted on "walking like that, talking like that, and acting like that."
A few weeks after we launched the "It Gets Better" Project, Terry looked up his old high school on Facebook. He was shockedâhe was flooredâto learn that the same high school where he had been so brutally bullied, the same school whose administration had failed him so spectacularly, now had a gay/straight alliance. He sent a note to SPH's GSA via Facebook, and the GSA invited Terry to come back to Shadle and see for himself that things had gotten better.
Terry's hometown paper covered his visit:
Terry Miller returned to Shadle Park High School on Tuesday night to see for himself: Itâs gotten better. Miller, whose memories of bullying at Shadle in the 1980s helped inspire the inspiring âIt Gets Betterâ project, returned to his alma mater for the first time in more than two decades. This time, the welcome was a lot warmerâa big crowd turned out to hear Miller and his longtime partner, the writer Dan Savage, give a hilarious and moving presentation about gay kids, acceptance and life after bullying.
âItâs really crazy and emotional to be back at Shadle Park High School,â said Miller, dressed in a white shirt, bow tie and logging boots. âItâs truly nerve-wracking.â
Since the project began less than a year ago, as a way to give hope to gay kids in the wake of high-profile suicides, Miller has told his âShadle storiesâ about relentless bullying and administrative indifference. But the school that welcomed him back Tuesday is a much different place. One with a thriving Gay-Straight Alliance. One where administrators like Principal Herb Rotchford supported the production of âThe Laramie Project.â One where gay kids and their friends work hard to make it better.
âShadleâs Gay-Straight Alliance is saying itâs not getting better after we leave. Itâs getting better right now,â said Henry Seipp, the Shadle teacher who formed the GSA six years ago. âAt Shadle, it has gotten better. I donât know if itâs better in Omak now or Kansas City, but at Shadle, itâs definitely better.â
We met with the kids in the GSA and the kids from the drama department who staged the Laramie Project last fall before our talk and we thanked them for all they've already done and all they're still doing to make it better at SPH. And after the presentation SPH's current principal, Herb Rotchford, came back stage. He shook Terry's hand and apologized to him for what had happened to him at SPH and for the way SPH administrators had failed him when he was a student.
It was an emotional night. Read the rest of Shawn Vestal's piece at the Spokesman Review here.