Jesus Christ: President Obama released his birth certificate this morning.

Cop Talk: A new report shows that in the first two months of 2011, 25 civilian allegations of Seattle police officer misconduct were ruled to be unfounded by the department's Office of Professional Accountability. 32 percent of cases ended with supervisory intervention (counseling or education for the officer), and only one civilian complaint resulted in discipline.

Bad Apple: Company denies that your iPhone is tracking your location, Gary.

Atheist Chaplain: Atheists push to get religious representation, secular rock concerts, included in the military.

Black Depression: African Americans struggle to find work in cities where their unemployment rate—up to 15.5 percent—is double that of white Americans. This has created "a veritable epidemic of joblessness that has undone decades of economic progress for millions of African Americans," reports the Huffington Post.

Gender Win: Transsexuals get their own gender category in Pakistan.

Money Grubbers: Termites eat through 10 million rupees ($225,000) stored in an Indian bank.

New UW President: Is Mormon, rides Harleys, concludes the Seattle Times in new exhaustive profile.

First-Degree Computer Trespassing: Two little girls from Issaquah stand accused of posting sexually explicit photographs to other little girl's Facebook page, messaging "random individuals" to arrange fake sex hookups.

Blah blah blah Seahawks?

Blind Eyes: Study finds that Guantanamo Bay doctors concealed evidence of intentional harm and inmate torture—including stories of rape and documented bone fractures, contusions and lacerations.