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Friday, April 15, 2011

Leave Gwyneth Alone!

Posted by on Fri, Apr 15, 2011 at 2:50 PM

Huh. I guess I'm on the hating Gwyneth beat, now: Slog tippers Rachel and H each sent in links to this video featuring a dramatic reading from Paltrow's new cookbook:

And Rachel points out that the commenters at Jezebel are on Gwyneth's side:

This is the kind of uncomfortable embarrassment I got when I was 12 watching the mean girls pick on their target of the week.

Are we really entering an age of celebrity apologists? I think wealthy, clueless jerks are always fuckwithable. What do you say, Slog?

 

Comments (32) RSS

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Josh Bomb 1
it's only acceptable in the case of rebecca black and britney spears.

because, you know, neither one is in control of their life.

side note: tweedle deep derp doooo!
Posted by Josh Bomb http://www.satanosphere.com on April 15, 2011 at 2:55 PM · Report this
Canuck 2
Oh puhleeze! Gwyneth is the human equivalent of finger nails on a blackboard. And she's the one who's made herself into a joke, by starting her Goop "Eat Pray Love Cleanse Purchase" website, and continuing with this cookbook. Mock away, I say.

(I'm sorry, gus, I know this hurts you deeply, owing to your inexplicable blonde/wasp/cross-eyed girl thing. I'll try to make it up to you, sweetie.)
Posted by Canuck on April 15, 2011 at 3:04 PM · Report this
SPG 3
I don't get it. Gwyneth is the least offensive of the "celebrities". Yes, she's pretty, but at least she works for a living. If you really want to fuck with someone, fuck with the people who became famous for having no talent and not even working at it. The Hiltons, the wives of the Robber Barons, every single person on reality TV shows, etc...
Posted by SPG on April 15, 2011 at 3:08 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 4
derp de derp but Lindsay dropping her last name when she should have just dropped the necklace in the store = a derpitude singularity imo, fwiw!

still, gotta love all the poetry references on derpy slog 2day!!!

ahh, gack what the fuck was that? plz help.
i don't care about this shit for realz everyone, kill me now.

uggghh.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot on April 15, 2011 at 3:14 PM · Report this
TVDinner 5
All right: I'll confess. I subscribed to Goop - ahem - for the recipes. Ever since I saw her speaking perfect Spanish in some public service announcement aired in Latin America I thought, "Huh. There's more to Gwennie than I thought."

But oh lord. Someone who feels inclined to share her eating disorder-esque behavior with the world - binge and purge away! - is not anyone I need cluttering up my inbox with her personal brand of insanity. I'll say this for her: when you unsubscribe from Goop, at least you're actually taken off the mailing list.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on April 15, 2011 at 3:18 PM · Report this
blip 6
About 10 years ago on NPR, a woman whose parents were family friends of the Paltrow’s, and who was of about the same age as Gwyneth, told a story about a sleepover at Gwyneth’s house, and how Gwyneth singled her out for having “square knees” of all dumb things, and told the other girls not to talk to her. ( I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who remembers this.) I’ve hated her ever since. Probably not entirely fair criteria to judge her, but whatever, she's had a pretty cozy life. Have at her.
Posted by blip on April 15, 2011 at 3:23 PM · Report this
7
Canuck, don't get me wrong, I believe everybody who works so hard to become a public figure has traded away forever their right to be free from slagging by those they annoy. It's, well, freedom!

All I know is that when she's doing something on screen I can't look away. I'm not proud of it, but I can't deny it.
Posted by gloomy gus on April 15, 2011 at 3:25 PM · Report this
Posted by blip on April 15, 2011 at 3:27 PM · Report this
Geocrackr 9
I think wealthy, clueless jerks are always fuckwithable.


I get wealthy, and possibly clueless, but "jerk"? According to anything that I've read the opposite is true (and @6 - teenage girls are almost genetically wired to be cruel; she's an adult now). Calling her a jerk says more about you than it does about her.
Posted by Geocrackr on April 15, 2011 at 3:33 PM · Report this
10
I really, really don't understand why anyone would actually care about what Gwyneth Paltrow writes in her cook book.

LOLLLLLL TOTAL BURN ON YOUR TEENAGE TRIP TO SPAIN! GAZPACHO THIS YOU BLOND BITCH!

Uh...ok. Guess you really got her...
Posted by Solar System on April 15, 2011 at 3:35 PM · Report this
11
Wait, are Gus and Canuck having an affair? I sense chemistry.
Posted by longball on April 15, 2011 at 3:40 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 12
@6,

I was fucked with similarly as a kid, and the one instigator I'm still in contact with grew up to be a perfectly fine, decent adult. Hating someone for childhood antics is really immature.

The irrational Paltrow hate proves two things:
1. Americans have such pathetic lives that they obsess (for good or ill) over the lives of people they have never met and never will meet.
2. There is absolutely nothing that celebrities can do right. Complete train wrecks like Lindsey Lohan get shit on regularly and so do celebrities whose lives are perfect by pretty much any measure. And which do you think makes the haters look worse? Hating someone for being worse than you or hating someone for being better?
Posted by keshmeshi on April 15, 2011 at 3:48 PM · Report this
blip 13
@12 I have a really hard time mustering sympathy for people who are really well-to-do over something as trivial as mean comments on the internet. She's gonna be okay. If that makes me a terrible human being, I'm okay with that, too.
Posted by blip on April 15, 2011 at 3:55 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 14
@13,

But you can muster hatred for someone you've never met over something relatively harmless they did in childhood.

Don't worry. It gets better. If you try hard enough, you too might have a life.
Posted by keshmeshi on April 15, 2011 at 4:09 PM · Report this
blip 15
Oh great. Now I'm on Keshmeshi's shit list. I guess it happens to every Slog commenter at some point.
Posted by blip on April 15, 2011 at 4:17 PM · Report this
Canuck 16
longball@11, sheesh, we are siblings, that would be so wrong. And as Flying Monkeys, we are bound by Dan's Code of Sexual No-Nos: No necrophilia, bestiality, or incest.
gus does, however, have a thing for the blondes, and try as I might to not judge, I'm not always successful. I believe he feels the same way about my Scissor Sisters fixation.
Posted by Canuck on April 15, 2011 at 4:21 PM · Report this
17
Wait... hating on Gwyneth? Srsly? With a world full of Ann Coulters, Michelle Bachmanns, Sarah Palins, Jocelyn Wildersteins, Maggie Gallaghers and Snooky? You hate on Gwyneth??

Dayyum. The world is fucked up.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on April 15, 2011 at 4:23 PM · Report this
18

What about Paul Allen.

Canna guy get a break?

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 15, 2011 at 4:26 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 19
as Homestar said about Marzipans' Luau:

"Zzzzz... Huh! Soooo... Zzzzz... Huh! Boooooooooring."
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on April 15, 2011 at 4:32 PM · Report this
Soupytwist 20
I don't 'hate' her - I just find her incredibly annoying and so I avoid everything that has to do with her.
Posted by Soupytwist http://twitter.com/katherinesmith on April 15, 2011 at 5:13 PM · Report this
21
That's completely it, Canuck. It's not that we don't have our peccadilloes (Jake Shears' starey eyes get AWAY), it's that we are graceful in overlooking them usually.
Posted by gloomy gus on April 15, 2011 at 5:14 PM · Report this
Canuck 22
Grace is our middle name, gus. And woot! "gloomy grace woot! gus".....has a certain je ne sais quoi, non?
Posted by Canuck on April 15, 2011 at 5:37 PM · Report this
23
Gwyneth Paltrow was very funny on SNL. That always gets my respect.
Posted by Racing Turtles on April 15, 2011 at 6:29 PM · Report this
24
God damn. I stopped reading Jezebel for a reason. Don't go quoting that stupidity here.

Derpa herpy derp.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on April 15, 2011 at 7:34 PM · Report this
25
So you hate her so much that you have to remind all of your readers that she exists at least once a day? Because that's all I'm getting from these posts.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on April 15, 2011 at 8:05 PM · Report this
vavavarooooom 26
I am one of the GP defenders on Jez, and ready to unsubscribe from them because of this catty bullshit. This is all over a fucking cookbook. A cookbook! Who cares!?!

GP is one of the least offensive (and also least noteworthy) celebrities that I know. She is white (unchangeable) and conventionally attractive (naturally - I am pretty sure), so Jez hates her, which is so fucking stupid in general, but especially on a blog that writes about equality and women's issues. I am not a fan of GP, but she has worked for her fame, and if she were gay and wrote the exact same thing, Jez would be lapping it up. They hate her for being white and thin and pretty and hetero, which is exactly the same as hating her for being black and fat and gay and not conventionally attractive. I can get that anywhere, there is no reason to read Jez for it.
Posted by vavavarooooom on April 15, 2011 at 8:59 PM · Report this
vavavarooooom 27
@13 - I agree with you to a point, GP will be fine, and if it was just one post, I wouldn't be bothered. It has been a long series of I don't know how many posts about how awful GP is - when all she did was write about her wood-fired oven. It is pointless and catty, and what I am bothered by is not that they are picking on this one person, but that 1) she hasn't really done anything wrong, and 2) they are a feminist blog that supposedly supports women. GP has worked for her fame, whether you like her or not, and there is no reason for them to go after her. It is like watching a store you love turn into a walmart.
Posted by vavavarooooom on April 15, 2011 at 9:05 PM · Report this
28
Blah blah Gabe at Videogum does it funnier/better/earlier. Gwyneth-hate is a bajillion internet years old already, so can we find another scapegoat?
Posted by teenage eagle on April 15, 2011 at 11:45 PM · Report this
29
It's ludicrous to ask the question of whether it's okay to pick on celebrities without making any distinction about why.

If someone is fair game for juvenile taunting simply because they are famous, then that says a whole lot about the taunters, who really need to get a life, and likely get their souls overhauled.

But if someone uses their celebrity to trumpet stupidly harmful opinions, or to negatively affect politics, or just to smugly express how much better they are than everyone else, fine. If they are using their celebrity to be publicly stupid, calling them on it publicly is fine.

But for writing a cookbook and appearing (quite impressively, in my view) on Glee?

The Paltrow attacks reek of envy. Charlie Sheen? Much more appropriate a target.
Posted by Lymis on April 16, 2011 at 7:12 AM · Report this
30
@vavavarooooom You nailed it. Pretty straight white women with money are apparently the perfect target for a...feminist...blog? Wha? Shouldn't successful women be seen as a positive?
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on April 16, 2011 at 8:47 AM · Report this
mr. herriman 31
i just want to know why they call her "fishsticks paltrow" over on d-listed.
Posted by mr. herriman on April 16, 2011 at 7:52 PM · Report this
32
@31, Michael K credits Ted Casablanca for coining it somewhere back in the mists of time. Here, from 2006:
http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/10/fish…
Posted by gloomy gus on April 17, 2011 at 1:20 PM · Report this

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