What is it about Gwyneth Paltrow that makes her so fucking annoying? Is it her total lack of self-awareness, as in the "I am African" ad adorning this very Slog post? Is it the way she gets packaged in different marketing-friendly new personalities, Barbie-style, every few years? (We just saw Country Gwynnie, and next year it will probably be Pan-flute Paltrow's turn.) Is it the fact that she thinks that allegedly having an affair with a man who thinks that lying on the back seat of a car makes him somehow invisible to paparazzo is a good idea?

No, I'm pretty sure it's the total lack of self-awareness. Thanks to Slog tipper Rachel, here are some obnoxious lines from Paltrow's new cookbook:

"I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one."

"We've got a wood-burning pizza oven in the garden—a luxury, I know, but it's one of the best investments I've ever made."

"One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going I realized I hadn't thought of dessert."

"I first had a version of this at a Japanese monastery during a silent retreat—don't ask, it's a long story."

God, I hate Gwyneth Paltrow.