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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

2012 Who Will Stop the Army of Drunken Tim Pawlenty-Sponsored Home Invaders?

Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Apr 6, 2011 at 12:49 PM

America, beware! In the dead of night, a drunken Tim Pawlenty staffer might just try to break into your home and scare the living piss out of your teenage daughter:

A 15-year-old girl found a campaign worker from Alabama banging on her Ankeny family's back door early Wednesday morning.

Chloe Steward told KCCI she heard her dog barking around 3 a.m. and went to investigate. She said she found a man trying to get into the back door...

"His arm was in my back door, trying to get in and I screamed and went upstairs to my parents room and I continued screaming," said Chloe Steward.
...
Iowa political strategist Eric Woolson is a consultant for the Pawlenty Exploratory Committee. He confirmed to KCCI that Foster is employed by the Pawlenty Exploratory Committee. He said they declining to comment at this time on the incident.
...
The Steward family said Foster was drunk and was trying to get home to a friend's house in Johnston. They said he vomited in their backyard and scared their daughter.

I eagerly await Pawlenty's apocalyptic video about his own staffers rampaging, zombielike, in the pre-dawn streets of Iowa. The best thing to come out of this? "His arm was in my back door, trying to get in and I screamed and went upstairs to my parents room and I continued screaming," is my favorite sentence of the day.

Comments (9) RSS

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How did this drunken idiot manage to do this to the only home in Alabama that doesn't have a shotgun ready for exactly this occasion?

Posted by SuperSteve on April 6, 2011 at 1:02 PM

This sounds like a clear case of demonic possession. Exactly the sort of thing that Pawlenty was warning us about in his campaign video.

Posted by Proteus on April 6, 2011 at 1:05 PM

@1 took the words right out of my mouth.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on April 6, 2011 at 1:12 PM

It was Iowa, not Alabama.

Posted by arbeck

on April 6, 2011 at 1:15 PM

Dude is from Alabama but he did it in Iowa, which, for all its faults, isn't as shotgun heavy. He was in Iowa doing groundwork for the caucus obvs. Which is just hilarious.

When I first read this, I figured "political strategist" was just some title the Pawlenty team had given to some jackass kiddie Republican who was out there doing the grunt work on the ground, which might make the drunken idiocy somewhat more forgivable. But it turns out this guy is in his fifties. Hilarious.

Posted by LogopolisMike

on April 6, 2011 at 1:16 PM

Oops -- I should have read the actual article and not just what was on Slog and AmericaBlog. Foster, the drunk, does look like the Young Republican douchebag I expected. Eric Woolson was the guy commenting on the story (who was in his fifties and is the bolded "consultant for the Pawlenty Exploratory Committee.")

Posted by LogopolisMike

on April 6, 2011 at 1:20 PM