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News & ArtsSaturday, April 2, 2011
Homo It Gets Better Lands on NYT Bestseller List
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Apr 2, 2011 at 6:40 PM
A friend sent this along...
It looks like everyone who contributed an essay to It Gets Better can call themselves a NYT bestselling author now—the ones who weren't already NYT bestselling authors (David Sedaris, Michael Cunningham), of course. Congrats to all!
2
Excellent,
Now let's try and get this great book into every high school and junior high school library in the U.S. (including the territories and commonwealths)
Now let's try and get this great book into every high school and junior high school library in the U.S. (including the territories and commonwealths)
4
I never thought I'd find myself writing this, but: I'm really looking forward to you and Terry topping David Brooks together.
6
Congrats to all. What a thrill this must be for everyone who had the opportunity to make a contribution to the book.
7
gus, gus, gus....too funny!
This is so great. You know what would be fun? A place where we could list the high schools to which we've donated. It'd be fun to see where they're ending up, for instance:
Springbank Community High School, Alberta
(where I had to break down "LGBT" for the very sweet and gracious librarian...)
This is so great. You know what would be fun? A place where we could list the high schools to which we've donated. It'd be fun to see where they're ending up, for instance:
Springbank Community High School, Alberta
(where I had to break down "LGBT" for the very sweet and gracious librarian...)
14
I bet you never dreamed when you were growing up that one day you'd be tied on the New York Times best sellers list with Keith Richards.
15
I'm so glad you're proving that "Gay Sells" and it gets better for homosexuals. Bravo!
Unfortunately for us straight dudes in Seattle with its 100:3 male:female ration...it still rots.
16
Hey, despicable me, and your contribution is mentioned in the intro to boot! It's funny, but even up here, my son's school friends already knew about IGB, and were looking forward to reading the book. Who would have thought this would go viral so fast...?
17
As you all know, the whole "It get's better" thing is really awesome. But (and there is always a "butt"), not all of us were rejected, bullied, and cast out. Sorry, but while I sympathize, understand, and feel bad for who were/are, I'd like to move on and actually try to do something to make the world better right the fuck now instead of crying over how it was when we were 14.
I'm not going to buy the book. I'm not making a video. No one butchered me about being gay. I'll give you I was lucky, but I am not alone and I'd seriously like to hear about other issues that actually touch my life today.
Yes, I am a selfish bitch. Do you think I'll get a book tour on that basis? I hate to see ANY kid die for ANY issue. I was bullied for being too "girly" (and I AM a girl), so wtf? Call me an insensitive bitch, I'm ok with that, but by focusing so much on how horrible it is to be a gay kid in high school, do you really think we're making it better? It DOES get better and high school sucks for a huge range of reasons. High school sucked for me cuz I was a mom in my sophomore year. And? I moved on. So do the majority of us. High school typically sucks...and it does get better. For EVERYONE (expect for perchance the "jocks"). We ALL need to to realize that and move on. Watch the interview Michael Moore did with the creator of "South Park" in "Bowling for Columbine". High school is not the end all of all being. That's all. It does get better...for EVERYONE. Can't we just acknowledge THAT?
I'm not going to buy the book. I'm not making a video. No one butchered me about being gay. I'll give you I was lucky, but I am not alone and I'd seriously like to hear about other issues that actually touch my life today.
Yes, I am a selfish bitch. Do you think I'll get a book tour on that basis? I hate to see ANY kid die for ANY issue. I was bullied for being too "girly" (and I AM a girl), so wtf? Call me an insensitive bitch, I'm ok with that, but by focusing so much on how horrible it is to be a gay kid in high school, do you really think we're making it better? It DOES get better and high school sucks for a huge range of reasons. High school sucked for me cuz I was a mom in my sophomore year. And? I moved on. So do the majority of us. High school typically sucks...and it does get better. For EVERYONE (expect for perchance the "jocks"). We ALL need to to realize that and move on. Watch the interview Michael Moore did with the creator of "South Park" in "Bowling for Columbine". High school is not the end all of all being. That's all. It does get better...for EVERYONE. Can't we just acknowledge THAT?
18
That's been acknowledged. The reason that Dan Savage focuses on the bullying/IGB for gay teens is because gay teenagers are four times more likely to commit suicide than their heterosexual peers. Eight times more if they are rejected by their family.
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@15, if no woman wants to sleep with you, the common denominator of the problem is you. Teh Gays (TM) don't really have anything to do with that. Oh, and fact check here: http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/…
@17, It Gets Better is helping the world right now. It's helping kids who didn't have it as lucky as you about the bullying. Very few teenagers are prescient enough to realize that there is life past the here and now. And it isn't as though this is Dan's only cause right now, either.
Well done, Savage-Miller (or is it the other way round?) clan.
@17, It Gets Better is helping the world right now. It's helping kids who didn't have it as lucky as you about the bullying. Very few teenagers are prescient enough to realize that there is life past the here and now. And it isn't as though this is Dan's only cause right now, either.
Well done, Savage-Miller (or is it the other way round?) clan.
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@22 QED
Tied for 15th? Too low, let's push it higher! Just ordered two copies to donate to our Quaker (honesty, equality, peace, love, integrity) Meeting's bookstore.
Tied for 15th? Too low, let's push it higher! Just ordered two copies to donate to our Quaker (honesty, equality, peace, love, integrity) Meeting's bookstore.
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@17, I too find it disconcerting that not every book, video, and project is geared to my specific experience.
In fact, recently I discovered there are entire languages I don't know. Some books/movies/etc. don't even offer translations! Obviously, the people of this world are not doing enough to project my personal experience back at me in a way I can comprehend.
In fact, recently I discovered there are entire languages I don't know. Some books/movies/etc. don't even offer translations! Obviously, the people of this world are not doing enough to project my personal experience back at me in a way I can comprehend.
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@23 I was thinking it would be good to find which local schools have GSAs, and donate to those, as well. LGBT youth groups, teen shelters would be good places, too. Also, maybe this is already happening, but it would be neat if GSAs and youth groups could apply for a donated book on the IGB site, and people could see a tally of "there are this many requests" and it would give people an incentive to donate books to specific places that have requested them...(cause, you know, I'm sure those guys don't have enough to do as it is... :)
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@ 25 - I think that's a great idea! I haven't donated yet in large part because my high school was odd. Gay kids transferred to my school to escape the bullying at other schools. Plus it's a private prep school in the east - pretty much the only kids getting bullied are the kids who are politically right-of-center. I wouldn't be surprised if the school already has a copy or two of the book. So where should I send a copy? I'd like to send one to place where it would do more good than it would at my alma mater.
Anyone have suggestions/requests for where I send my donated copy?
Anyone have suggestions/requests for where I send my donated copy?
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Canuck, did you order yours from Amazon, and has it arrived yet? I got one for our High School here in Wainwright, but haven't received it yet. I figure our delivery times would be about the same.
We've got Supermailboxes here, and last week I got a key, but when I opened the package box, it was empty. I wonder if someone stole my copy of the book. And, if so - is that a good thing or a bad thing? Did some closeted kid find it irresistible?
We've got Supermailboxes here, and last week I got a key, but when I opened the package box, it was empty. I wonder if someone stole my copy of the book. And, if so - is that a good thing or a bad thing? Did some closeted kid find it irresistible?
28
moosefan, if you already have the book in hand, (personally) I'd look up LGBT youth groups in your area, or look at that national GSA website that lists GSAs by school. When I donated at the IGB site, I didn't specify a school, I just left it blank, and I assumed it would go to wherever they wanted to send it. It seemed to process, even though I left the field blank.
agony, I pre-ordered mine on Amazon, and it shipped the 22nd, was delivered on the 28th, so I'd think you'd have it by now. Unfortunately, it was packed in Amazon's usual brown wrapping, so if someone did steal it, it couldn't have been because they knew what it was :( However, Amazon has tracking, go to your account and check on it. It'll say when it was expected to be delivered. And yeah, hopefully if it was stolen, it was appreciated, or left out for someone else...Also, I checked at Indigo, and they said they'll be carrying it, if that helps...
agony, I pre-ordered mine on Amazon, and it shipped the 22nd, was delivered on the 28th, so I'd think you'd have it by now. Unfortunately, it was packed in Amazon's usual brown wrapping, so if someone did steal it, it couldn't have been because they knew what it was :( However, Amazon has tracking, go to your account and check on it. It'll say when it was expected to be delivered. And yeah, hopefully if it was stolen, it was appreciated, or left out for someone else...Also, I checked at Indigo, and they said they'll be carrying it, if that helps...
29
@17 YOU. You you you, you you. You you you you you; you you you. You you you you, you you you, you you you you you you. You you! You.
30
I need to order a couple more books.
Oh, MaiaD @ 17, don't loose heart and forget that when you help and protect some of us that you help and protect yourself. We don't live in a vacuum, we live in relationship. This is our world, our children, and our future. We make it better for all of us when we cooperate.
Best wishes.
Oh, MaiaD @ 17, don't loose heart and forget that when you help and protect some of us that you help and protect yourself. We don't live in a vacuum, we live in relationship. This is our world, our children, and our future. We make it better for all of us when we cooperate.
Best wishes.
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shw3nn, while you're at it, can you set it up to give Seattleblues a little shock when he types "deviant"?
34
I preordered mine, too, but according to Amazon it seems to have only made it to BC on Friday, so I'll most likely be getting it on Tuesday. I see that I went through .com rather than .ca, that might be why it's slower.
And,yeah, the librarian here was totally unaware of such a book existing, but seemed happy to hear she'd be getting a copy. She knew both my kids well, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear she'd seen the odd kiss or two taking place in the stacks, so wasn't particularly astonished to be getting something like this from me.
And,yeah, the librarian here was totally unaware of such a book existing, but seemed happy to hear she'd be getting a copy. She knew both my kids well, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear she'd seen the odd kiss or two taking place in the stacks, so wasn't particularly astonished to be getting something like this from me.
35
Went to Berkeley Rep School of theater for their high school one act plays Friday night. They are student written, directed and acted. An ironic mention of someone posting an "It Gets Better" video on a friend's Facebook page made me laugh. You have crossed over into pop culture reference humor already! The project has arrived.
39
Okay, you smarty pants, can you add flash and make our comments glitter, cause that would be REALLY cool...
40
@17
Are. You. Kidding. Me?
This has nothing to do with crying over how things were, but everything to do with how things turned out way better than most of us could have imagined.
For most kids who are bullied for whatever reason (other than sexual orientation), they can go home and get either a hug or a personal "Buck up, kiddo" message from their parents (that is, if their parents aren't stuck in the Dark Ages before computers and don't recognize the pervasive extent of vicious attacks via social sites such as FB, etc., and assume that things will just blow over because kids will be kids). Or their parents may even try to get school administrations to recognize the extent of the bullying to try to counter it.
But most kids who either are (or perceived to be) LGBTQ don't have any such guarantee. They may face shame or more brutal emotional or physical abuse at the hands of their disappointed or enraged parents and either be kicked out of the house or run away from home. When there is NO perceived support system and the feeling that there is no sanctuary anywhere, kids feel hopeless and end up killing themselves. Because the dread of one tomorrow is horrible enough. The threat of facing thousands of nasty tomorrows is too much to live through.
You say you got through it and so should others. Well, isn't that just mahvellous for you? Sounds more like sour grapes to me. After all, nobody spoke up for you, so why should anybody speak up for today's kids, right???
You may want to check your reading comprehension and reasoning skills. Because, even in the midst of your denial over the campaign (videos, book and who knows what else in the future), you just personally confirmed what it's all about.
If you weren't so miserly and short-sighted, you'd recognize that the IGBP will make the lives of ALL bullied kids better ... sooner rather than later (or never, because they couldn't endure their torment and did kill themselves).
The next time you want to complain about all the oh-so-totally unnecessary (/sarcasm) attention (Yippee! ... book tour!) the campaign and book are receiving, look up the obituaries of the kids who killed themselves only in the last few months. Look at their faces. Think of the potential that was shattered. And see if you can't muster up one shred of compassion. Who knows, you may even thaw your own heart out.
More...
Sorry, but while I symphathize, understand, and feel bad for who were/are, I'd like to move on and actually try to do something to make the world better right the fuck now instead of crying over how it was when we were 14.
Are. You. Kidding. Me?
This has nothing to do with crying over how things were, but everything to do with how things turned out way better than most of us could have imagined.
For most kids who are bullied for whatever reason (other than sexual orientation), they can go home and get either a hug or a personal "Buck up, kiddo" message from their parents (that is, if their parents aren't stuck in the Dark Ages before computers and don't recognize the pervasive extent of vicious attacks via social sites such as FB, etc., and assume that things will just blow over because kids will be kids). Or their parents may even try to get school administrations to recognize the extent of the bullying to try to counter it.
But most kids who either are (or perceived to be) LGBTQ don't have any such guarantee. They may face shame or more brutal emotional or physical abuse at the hands of their disappointed or enraged parents and either be kicked out of the house or run away from home. When there is NO perceived support system and the feeling that there is no sanctuary anywhere, kids feel hopeless and end up killing themselves. Because the dread of one tomorrow is horrible enough. The threat of facing thousands of nasty tomorrows is too much to live through.
You say you got through it and so should others. Well, isn't that just mahvellous for you? Sounds more like sour grapes to me. After all, nobody spoke up for you, so why should anybody speak up for today's kids, right???
You may want to check your reading comprehension and reasoning skills. Because, even in the midst of your denial over the campaign (videos, book and who knows what else in the future), you just personally confirmed what it's all about.
High school is not the end all of all being. That's all. It does get better...for EVERYONE. Can't we just acknowledge THAT?
If you weren't so miserly and short-sighted, you'd recognize that the IGBP will make the lives of ALL bullied kids better ... sooner rather than later (or never, because they couldn't endure their torment and did kill themselves).
The next time you want to complain about all the oh-so-totally unnecessary (/sarcasm) attention (Yippee! ... book tour!) the campaign and book are receiving, look up the obituaries of the kids who killed themselves only in the last few months. Look at their faces. Think of the potential that was shattered. And see if you can't muster up one shred of compassion. Who knows, you may even thaw your own heart out.
41
FIXED. ::crosses fingers::
PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT AGAIN!!!
I'm tired of looking at myself from a slant.
PLEASE DON'T BREAK IT AGAIN!!!
I'm tired of looking at myself from a slant.
43
I work at a certain bookstore in a certain place in a certain country. Anyway, I made the IGBP book my staff pick this week and personally sold 3 copies :)
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@17 So no one "butchered you" for being gay maybe that has something to do with the fact that you were "a mom in your sophomore year." So how are you qualified to write about the gay teen experience again? Because I'd think that getting pregnant in high school would hide your gay identity.
45
@43 Ha, I just looked at your profile...I was actually going to a "certain" bookstore today to see if they had it prominently displayed...good for you! I'm headed to Signal Hill and Chinook today...hmmm, what will the staff picks be??
46
Wonderful news! I donated a copy to my son's high school...let's all do that!!
I LOVE being a bestselling author at last!!
May deep blessing continue to fall on this wonderful project!
I LOVE being a bestselling author at last!!
May deep blessing continue to fall on this wonderful project!
47
meanwhile, on the internet:
Truth be told, I think it's a bullshit message. For one, it requires a kind of passivity. 'Don't worry, when you're 25 you'll look great and those homophobic kids will be working in Burger King' risks teaching kids to accept homophobia in the short term, safe in the knowledge that once they're old enough, they'll be delivered to the Promised Land of expensive haircuts, dayglo cocktails and bitchiness. If nothing else, it's somewhat narcissistic to have people congratulating themselves on how awesome their lives are, in order to make worse-off people feel better. Moreover, it promulgates a restrictive idea of what it means to be gay. What if you're a 15 year old boy in Altoona who thinks he might be gay, but doesn't see himself ever conforming to the stereotype of being a fabulous, glittering socialite with no apparent source of income and a tasteful collection of objets d'art? What if he doesn't want to?
More than that, it's complacent. Just saying 'it gets better' implies that it happens through some kind of osmosis. Shite. It gets better because people make it better, and bland pronouncements of faith that everything will work out in the end serve only to absolve people from responsibility when it comes to acting decisively against homophobia. Even worse, by destigmatising homophobic abuse, you risk normalising it. and all of a sudden gay teenagers start seeing being a pariah as how you pay your dues for being gay, instead of what it is, which is an injustice which needs to be confronted if anything's going to change.
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