BIEBER BEAT!! People often speculate what Justin Bieber may be like when he turns 30—and now? There may be a movie to answer that very question! From the LA Times.

Bieber is eyeing a lead role in the comedy “What Would Kenny Do?” according to a person who was briefed on the project but was not authorized to speak about it publicly. The film tells of a relationship between a 17-year-old and his thirtysomething self. Said thirtysomething would be played by Ashton Kutcher, the source said.

What… the… SHIT?!?

Chris Baldi’s “Kenny” script, which landed on Hollywood’s Black List in 2008, is an R-rated comedy describing a teenager who meets a hologram claiming to be the adult version of himself; the hologram then helps guide the teen through high school.

I'm pretty sure that if I needed someone to guide me through high school, it wouldn't be Ashton Kutcher. (My first instinct is to go with Kelly LeBrock.)

BEIBER BEAT!! In other critical Bieber news, remember how Beebles cut his hair for charity, which was then purchased for $40,000? That very same hair is currently ON A NATIONWIDE TOUR (I swear to god I'm not kidding) in a glass case (under constant supervision from TWO bodyguards), where anyone who donates money to the Japanese relief fund can have their picture taken with it! In a related story: THAT'S FUCKED!

BIEBER BEAT!! Washed-up salvia huffer and one of the most terrible people in the world Miley Cyrus pissed on both Justin Bieber and Rebecca "Friday" Black in a recent interview saying that kids these days? They got it tooooooo easy!

"It should be harder to be an artist. You shouldn't just be able to put a song on YouTube and go out on tour," she told Australia's Daily Telegraph.

See, maybe that's Miley's problem. She never put out a YouTube video. Or learned how to sing. Or got her teeth fixed. Or emancipated herself from her hillbilly dad. Or learned to shut her stupid hee-haw. YOUR ENVY SMELLS LIKE A MOLDY T-SHIRT, MILEY. Gurgle a salvia bong and chill-the-fudge-OUT.

Justin offers his own advice for Miley after the jump.